My red states

I thought it would be interesting like in Cardine's blog to see how many states I have been too. Definitely not as many as Cardine but still I think that it is not bad. As you can see I tend to favor the western states.

Negativity vs. Positivity

In my last few posts (on this blog and my previous ones) I have noticed that I tend to write about negative things. I have already realized that I usually tend to lean toward the negative side of things. A Pessimist, if you will. Now I know that this is not a good way to live one's life if one wants to be happy and I trying to work on it (you know turning that frown upside down). Anyway the point of this post is to give some insight into what I see in the negative side of things. Also, I pretty much know that anyone who reads will disagree with my way of thinking but this is me.

I tend to be a little more worldly than spiritual (another fault I am working on). In the "real world" most things don't always work out. Now I still love all the chick flicks where the guy and girl always get together and live happily ever after. Those are my fantasy films. But I tend to more interested in the films that portray problems that everyday people deal with and of course to make a movie interesting there must be some sort of villain and hero. The villain can be anyone or anything. Something that delays our protaganist to his/her goal.

I guess I am sort of a drama queen. I don't really like to be in the middle of drama but I like to know about it and watch it unfold. The villain to me is always so much more interesting to me than the martyr or hero. How did the villain become so evil? What tragedy, if any, led him/her down this path? In all of the Disney movies, though I loved all the songs, my favorites were always the ones sung by villains. They were so much more emotionally charged for me. Or even Darth Vader's theme music anytime he appears on the screen. It just causes more emotion than the triumphant stuff. Though that is good too.

Even though most people may say they don't like negativity. I believe most people are drawn to it. That's why there are traffic jams when an accident has occurred even though it is off to the side of the road and shouldn't be causing a problem. People are slowing down to take a look.

I once got into an arguement with my roommate that a movie could never be interesting if everyone was happy. There must always be a trial. Sure you can still be happy even with trials in your life but you are not particularly happy to be going through that trial. Happiness can be boring. I will notice when a couple is in a relationship which seems to be happy but I only ever hear negative things from either person about the other. I know that they are still happy and maintaining a relationship is hard. So why do they only speak about the fights and arugments and not the cute little things that they do for each other? I think it is because we believe that the negative things are more interesting and it also means that something may need to be done. Action must be taken. We all want to be heroes in some way or other but how can we portray that quality if all is right with the world.

So I guess that is why I am drawn to negative things or mostly write about the negative things in my life. To find some purpose and to create some action. Most times the actions that needs to be taken is by me for myself so just putting it out there helps me to look at it better.

But I'll try to write about postive things too.

Looking to the Past

There may possibly be a lot of cliche's in this post. Just so you know.

I have been noticing lately how much I cling to the past (well, I've always kind of noticed it I guess). I find myself wanting to recreate old times and happy memories. There are several examples of my clinging to the past which I will list now.

1. I try to maintain friendships with people from highschool that really should have died away by now. I know it's not a bad thing to want to keep friends, but I don't really make new friends. Making friends was so much easier when I was young. We were in the same ward and same grade so naturally we had to be friends. That's pretty much it. Sure they had they their faults and I had mine and sometimes we hated each other but it worked out. Yes I did make a few friends that weren't in my ward but it was only through my other friends. If it had been up to me to recruit new people into my group I wouldn't have made the quota. Nowadays it is so much harder to make friends. In my five years of college I don't have one friend that I met in classes or clubs even my roommates have faded away. My only local friends now are my current roommates and people in my current ward.

2. I have tried really hard to cut back my t.v. watching so a show has to really good to make it into my weekly schedule. As shows get canceled my shows get less and less. But ever since you can rent t.v. shows on dvd I have been renting my old favorite shows. Some that if I told you what they were, you would think I was a complete nerd. But I still like them because I liked them when I was younger. Movies too are in this category, I will most likely buy any movie (no matter how dumb people may think it is now) that I loved when I was little . For an example (which again makes me look like a nerd but here it is) The Ewok Adventure. I love it.

3. This weekend is the state highschool drill team competition. Which I would love to go to. Of course none of my friends are interested in going. No, I wasn't in the drill team but I would have loved to have been (no dancing skills). I did love to watch them at their local competitions and their drill review at the end of each school year. My sophomore year of college and I went and watched a couple competitions up here in Salt Lake. It was awesome. One day I spent all day just watching highschools that I have no affiliations with dance away. It just brings me back to highschool days.

So why this obsession with living in the past (cliche)? I don't know. I guess because the past is certain and the future is unknown and most everyone is afraid of what they don't know (cliche?) My past wasn't the happiest one either. Not that I'm the happiest I could be now, but when you are young you feel so helpless and that when you're unhappy it's not your fault. There is nothing you can do about it. But now in adulthood you have to create your own happiness. You have to boost your self-esteem. You have to make decisions that change the course of your life. But all that's kind of hard to do when my past has turned me into the neurotic mess that I am today. I guess that it is just time to let the past go and march on into the future (cliche)

This post kind of turned a little negative. It seems easier to post about negative things than positive. Negativity vs. postitivity. I think that could be my next post. Stay tuned.

Blog number two (well really three)

Okay, So I had another blog on a different website but it sucked and no one ever visited it. This website is much better but it isn't MAC friendly which is what my computer at home is. But now at work I use a PC and usually post on my blog during that time anyway so I figured a switch would be good. Yes, I am kind of a slacker, but really I just get my work done quickly and don't have anything else to do.

So the premise is basically the same. As my title says the lines of communication (well really just lines but that's what comments are for) are now open. So I'll use my blog to throw out random thoughts from time to time. Vent on frustrations (this could happen often). Talk about movies because I love movies..love love love love. Also, books because I've decided that I need to read a lot more books this year and some of them need to be fairly intelligent. So if anyone has any reccommendations by all means let me know.

So welcome to my 3rd try of blogging. (input cliche here)


Oh if you are wondering about my other other blog...well I think I only posted on it twice and it was at the same crappy website.