The Curse is Back!!

Before I get into the main point of my blog let me give you a little background

So, like most people I have named my car even though I do think it is a silly thing to do and I don't call it that by any means to people. In fact its name is only used on rare occasions when the car upsets me, kind of like when your parents use your full name when they are lecturing you. But I will admit to talking to my car but again on rare occasions when it upsets me. I think once you name your car this kind of thing happens. For short my car's name is Molly. I know you think its cute but it is short for Il Maledetto, which is Italian (I was taking classes at the time) for The Cursed. Yes my car is cursed. It hates me. Some examples: Within a Five and half year period
Two car stereo's stolen out of it (with broken window)
The actual car has been stolen (I should have just let it go)
Nowadays multiple mechanical problems
Hit three times (the third of which happened last night)

I thought the curse was over. I thought we could be friends. Even with all of the mechanical problems lately I still wasn't too upset because she is getting old. But no, last night I realized it was back and in full swing.

Yes I was in an accident last night. It was raining. Light turned yellow (though the other driver said it was red. If it was then it just barely turned red when I was almost through the intersection.) He was turning left I was going straight. Says he didn't see me. Don't know how that is possible, my lights were on. No definite answer to whose fault it was because its basically his word against mine. So now I am probably stuck with another lovely dent addition to my car. The other one is from a the second hit which a girl backed into me and put it off that it was both of our faults. I don't want my insurance to go up (which I think is stupid that it should if the accident is not your fault) and who knows how the insurance company plans to handle it.

So Molly has become a white trash car. I feel so white trash driving it. But I'm going to drive it until it dies which probably won't be that long. It is ten years old.

I hate accidents because I am constantly playing the what if game. What if I hadn't gone to Walmart and taken my normal route home? What if I had stayed at Walmart a little longer. What if I had left work earlier or even later. A couple of minutes could have made all the difference. Its frustrating.

The Good and Bad of Being Alone

The word "alone" has different connotations to different people. Mostly people try to put them into two categories: bad and good. Of course there are other connotations that don't necessarily fit either one perfectly. The gray area if you will. Horrifying, sad, pathetic, comfortable, secure, confident, content, independent, alienated, rejected, safe, sanity, exahausting. These are words that I have used to describe my being alone or ending up alone and I'm sure others have as well.

One person I know can't stand to be alone. It is something her husband has had to get used to because he enjoys his alone time just as much as being with his wife. Well, maybe not just as much but he values it nonetheless. To her it is almost horrifying to be alone and to him it is a way to gain sanity.

Another person I know has a hard time being by herself all day. It makes her tired. She comes to life when people are around her. It can be very exahausting to entertain yourself all day. Especially if you don't find yourself very entertaining company.

Another person I know loves her alone time as well as being with people. She loves to take trips by herself, insists on it in fact. She has deep thoughts and maybe not so deep thoughts but she is secure in who she is at that time. Secure enough to be by herself.

Another person I know spends pretty much every night by herself. Does she get sad? Possibly from time to time but mostly I think she is content with the way she has lived her life, raised her family and did it mostly all by herself. She seems almost comfortable being alone. That that is the way she prefers it unless of course one of her wonderful children come to visit.

Of course there are more people I could mention who I view how they have described how they feel when they are alone but it would take too long. Also, the people that I have described probably view their alone in several other ways than how I see them. I think most people visit the whole spectrum of feelings when it comes to being alone.

Last of all this one person I know enjoys being alone from time to time even though the people around her might think something is wrong. At times they are right. For this person being alone can be horrifying if it means for the rest of her life but confident that she could handle it if it comes to that. Being alone is a time to regain some sanity after a chaotic day. Pathetic and sad if it goes on too long and all that sadness can get rather exhausting. Comfortable with the fact that being alone isn't that horrible and that she doesn't need constant attention to be okay. She feels independent, that she can make it on her own, hoping against hope that she can be secure in herself. Being alone is safe from rejection but being alone can also create a feeling of being rejected. Alienate herself first before anyone has the chance to alienate her.

All these feelings come at different times but the thing that is best is not to revel or wallow in any one emotion when being alone. Man is a sociable being or so I am told. I believe it is okay to be alone if that is what you feel you need to regain something of yourself, but one must always find his or her way back to the group to truly find themselves.

New blog

Yes, I have succumbed to the idea that one blog is just not enough to get all thoughts down. So my new blog is big surprise....about books. You're shocked aren't you? I know that it has never been done before and I am going into new territory so I hope you bear with me if I write something that just blows your mind and is hard to accept. Its a little scary starting on this new adventure but with your help and comments I will triumph. The new blog is ScadsofBooks.com. Clever eh? Thank you for your time.


*the above is all sarcasm except the part of actually having a new blog. I do. Really I do. Just because I lied up there doesn't mean I'm lying now. Come on give me a chance. Look just go to the website. You'll see. You'll all see. Then you'll be sorry.

Way Fun Weekend!

So this last weekend was the weekend of the cousin get together. My cousin J and A (not like I really need to keep their identities secret but oh well) came to see me. They were here Friday night through Sunday. It was so much fun and all we did was hang out, talk and eat (boy did we eat).

A got there first and we went to the Olive Garden for her since I gone there several times in the last few months. We caught up on whatever and talked about whatever. It was so easy. Then J arrived after some miscommunications on directions and she ended up 24 blocks away from my house but it was all corrected. Then we proceeded to talk and talk and talk until 6 am. I know. Can you imagine having that much to say. I kept both my poor roommates was up. Of course one of them was already up with a boy in her room. (just talking and canoodling) Thinking we could get some sleep J and I were awaken two hours later to my roommates phone alarm going off because she had forgotten to take it into her room. Went back to sleep but still woke up around 10 am. Talk talk talk some more. Time for lunch

Went to McGrath's Fish House. Never been and it was really good fish. Went to the mall pretty much to kill time until it was time to eat again. Which was around 8:30 at Johnny Corrino's. Again really good food and expensive. Never spent that much on a meal before but worth it. And I got to see my brother and his wife too. Now after this you think that we would be so ready for bed but no. We went home and talked a little more and then watched a movie. I did doze off from time to time as I did during the conversation the night before. Then after the movie around Midnight or One we went to bed.

Sunday: Went to breakfast/lunch at IHOP and then to further break the sabbath went and had ice cream at Baskin Robbins and then shopping at Michaels. Then unfortuneatly it started to snow meaning that our visit was soon coming to an end especially after these twenty-six and twenty-eight year old girl's family call them and say maybe you should start home. So we gave the hugs and goodbyes and off they went into the snow.

Well, I had so much fun this weekend. My roommate even told me how glad she was that I was laughing. She said I hadn't laughed like that in a long time so thanks to you girls for that. Now you might be wondering what we could possibly find to talk about for three days since we didn't do anything else. Well here are the main topics: Men, relationships (thats a given), religion, old t.v. shows and movies, food, reminiscing about childhood days, and our mother's idiosyncrasies (which we all love and hold dear to our hearts). Good times. I can't wait until the next visit which should be this summer down to where J is and we're hoping that A can join as well.

Winter Group Activity (Roller Girls!)

Lately I have seen the spread of a new activity that people do in groups. Now I think it is just a winter activity since it is so cold and people can't go outside at night to do things. This activity entails getting together to watch a sitcom and usually its a reality tv sitcom. There has been a few in my ward. One for the Bachelor, One for Ultimate Fighting Championship (mostly guys), and the one I subscribe to... Roller Girls.

When I first started going to watch this show I didn't know anything about it. All I knew was that the guy whom I had a crush on at the time was hosting this weekly event. (If the guy in question is reading this don't worry the crush is gone, now I think you are a really cool guy to be friends with.) Also, his roommates are really cool too and this was a way to branch out and make some new friends. I went without my normal group of friends because I tend to be drowned out in their company.

So the friendships were made even though my friends eventually started to join in the watching as well. So that was one key to keep me going but here is the other. Roller Girls is a freaking awesome show! You've got two teams of girls (the main ones featured at first were the Holy Rollers and the Hell Cats) and when they have a bout (match, game) they go around the rink trying to score points (i won't explain the details of the rules because its easier to explain when you watch) and almost always fights ensue. Girls pushing and shoving, being thrown over the rings and yes there are lots of bleeped out swear words and fuzzied birdy fingers.
But it is so cool to watch these girls fight it out. Then when they go back to their normal lives it is completely different. One of the hard core roller girls is an elementary school teacher. So the show goes between the activities of their normal lives and their roller girl lives. Now for a lot of them there isn't really that big of a line to cross from normal to roller girl.

I have not missed one episode even though sometimes we don't watch them until 11:00 at night and I have work the next morning, or one of my friends has hooked up with the guy I had a crush on and I have to watch them flirt. No I have been faithful to the bitter end. And so the boys have christened me the Roller Derby Queen and my roller girl name (if we were ever to start a team of our own) is Hollwood Hottie, but mostly everyone calls me Hollywood! There have been talks of actually going to Texas (where the show is filmed) and go to an actual TXRD Bout (TXRD stands for texas roller derby) and hopefully get to see all of our favorite roller girls. Mine are Miss Conduct and Sister Mary Jane and Chola. This is Miss Conduct!


If you want to check this show out it airs on A & E on Mondays at either 8:00 or 9:00 pm.

But maybe you can start your own sitcom watching group. Its a really fun way to get together and chat and make fun of stupid people on reality t.v.