Lines of Communication: Open

It's been a hard month

2012-01-20T15:38:00.000-08:00

Well, I hope this will be the last depressing/angry post that I write in a while, but this month has been awful.

First, major post holiday blues. I just couldn't shake them especially when my roommate Tamara tells me that our other roommate Kristina is moving out and her best friend is moving. I really like Kristina so I was sad to hear that. Tamara and I don't really get along, it's ridiculous that we've lived together for eight year, but the last four have not been good but bearable. I had an offer on a house. I really hoped I would get it, but unfortunately I didn't. It just seemed like everything was going wrong in my life. I felt so alone. Crying all the time. My poor mom was probably so worried because I would always cry when I talked to her.

Then my friend Melanie pushed me to go look at another place that our friend is renting out. I would share with two unknown girls but I would get the master suite. Bigger room, walk-in closet and my own bathroom. It was nice and the girls sound like good girls. I was still really reluctant to make the move. I was really stressed about it. I've lived in my house for eight years. Change is scary. It took Melanie just pushing and pushing until and cried and gave in. Even after I told Kasey (the owner) that I would move in, I still wasn't sure. Even talking to my mom I was crying and could not understand my feelings. She felt like I should do it because I have been so unhappy in my home life. That I'm just really disappointed that I didn't get my house. I think that's really true.

So in three weeks from that point, I would be moving. Amazingly, my crazy roommate made me feel so much better about my decision. She has just been doing things that continually piss me off. Because her friend wants to paint the bathroom (currently mine and Kristina's), Tamara has taken it upon herself to get it done. I thought she would wait until I was moved out. But she's not working right now and bored. It's this chocolate brown color now. It feels like a dark brown hole. And when Tamara was done painting she left her brushes and glass casserole dish that she used as a paint tray (Why?) in our bathtub all day. I finally had to clean it up and scrub our tub so I could take a shower. Then she changed the shower curtain with whatever she picked out and it was too heavy for the rod so it kept falling down. Again something I had to deal with. There's a slew of other things. I just can't wait until it's over. I even asked her to stop making changes to the bathroom (granted it may have come out harsh) and now we are in this fight because she thinks I'm rude. How dare I not appreciate her "making the house nice?" Maybe you're definition of nice is not mine. It's my bathroom. Whatever, one more week and I won't have to deal with her anymore.

While all this is going on, my work is being completely overhauled and no one but the high-ups know what's going on. It's just rampant speculation. Good thing I got my promotion and raise when I did or else it wouldn't have happened. Anyway, it's causing a lot of stress not to mention this is really the busiest time of year for me.

I hope in a little over a week everything will be much better. I do have an exciting trip to Peru to look forward to so that's something though the cost worries me a little. But I'll deal with it. And just because I'm moving doesn't mean I'm giving up the house hunt. I'm still on the look out. Maybe third time's a charm.

I'm Back!

2012-01-07T23:39:00.000-08:00

Well, it's January. And of course if it's January, it means that resolutions are in full swing for most people and I am no exception. So here are mine for 2012 (in no particular order):

1. Blog More. I hope to write a post at least once a week, but there may be times it's only once a month. I'll definitely try to not let it be only a couple times this year. I think I felt like my life had stagnated this year so what was there to write about. But it's not true. Things happened and things will happen this year. Things are already in motion to happen this year. I'll talk more about that stuff later.

2. Lose 50lbs by my 30th birthday. Yes, the ever cliched lose weight resolution. But since I have a goal time I'm hoping to reach then maybe that will help me achieve it more. It basically equates to losing two pounds a week. I've already tried lessening my portions and it's my goal to walk on the treadmill at least four times a week. Perhaps build up to jogging. So wish me luck.

3. Pass at least one CMA Exam. There are two exams to get my CMA certification. This one is going to be tough. I'm not a good studier. But it needs to happen. I had originally planned to take the first test this February but I'm already behind on studying and lots of things are going on that are distracting me. So it my not be until May. But it has to be May at the very latest.

4. Be more active in Church and its various activities. I've told myself that I can only miss church once a month. I need to put in more effort if I want to get more out of it. Church really isn't my thing but I believe in its importance and I'm hoping increasing my spirtuality will add to my happiness. I would also like to read the Book of Mormon again this year.

5. Read 3 books from my AP English list. When I was a junior in high school my AP English teacher gave us a huge list of books that we could choose from to do our book reports on. I told myself that I would read every book on the list with the exception of the Greek histories. I just can't do those. I've read some hear and there but they've gone on the back burner in the last several years. So I want to read three of them this year.

6. Learn to play the piano or guitar better. I have both and I can only play a little bit on each and would love to be more proficient in one or both. It would be nice to be able to just sit and be able to play whatever I want.

Well that's about it. There are others that are a little more personal, but this is the gist of it. I feel good about completing most if not all of them this year. I could use some success this year. Hope all of you keep your goals and that they add to your life.

Dedicated to My Amazing Mother

2011-05-08T14:26:00.000-07:00

Another Mother's day and did I get my mom a present or a card even? No. It's not that it slipped my mind, because there were days where I thought I should send her a card. I could justify it that Mother's Day isn't a favorite holiday of hers since she uses that day to focus on her few errors as a mother instead of the many wonderful things she has done, and so why bring it up. But I'm really just plain lazy and my mother deserves a better more thoughtful daughter. You see where I get it from, eh?

So in a sense here is my Mother's Day card.

Sometimes I forget all the wonderful things that you have done. You practically raised two very willful children by yourself (with the help of some great aunts and uncles and a very generous and loving grandmother). You put yourself through school and found a career. Your strength is so inspiring to me. As is your faith in our Heavenly Father.

I remember when I was little walking past your room and seeing you kneeling down by your bed and praying. You seemed to be praying for a long time and I always wondered how you had so much to pray for because I didn't pray that long. I think of that every now and then when I think about prayer. You've always been such a good example to me and even though I may not have followed it right away, it was always with me.

Now I won't say that you've done all this without complaint. There's definitely been some murmuring here and there, but that's what I love about you. You're real. I've loved that since I became an adult you can confide in me and I can comfort you when you need it. I hope you know you can always count on me for that as I know I can always count on you.

You're one of my best friends. I couldn't ask for a better mother. I love you so much and am grateful to you for more than I could possibly say. I'm sure there are things you have done for me that I have no idea about. I love you and I hope you have a wonderful day and that I would say this on any day of the year.

Sexism at the Movie Theatre

2011-04-20T10:03:00.000-07:00

Melanie and I went to see True Grit last night. I had already seen it, but it was a really good movie so I was fine seeing it again and it was only a $1. When we came out of the movie some guy started walking next to us and said, "That's not a movie I would expect to see two girls come out of. Why did you go see that?" We both said we wanted to see it and it was good. He kind of kept going on how it's not a chick flick and so it's weird that we went to it. He asked our names and since we got a weird vibe from him Melanie introduced herself as Melissa and I introduced myself as Jessica. Never given a wrong name before. It was fun.

I was so blindsided the encounter that it wasn't until after we left that I realized I should have let him have it for being so sexist. He had even said the reason we must have seen it was because Matt Damon was in it. Whatever dude!! It was a good movie! An academy award nominated movie!! Don't put people into categories just because of their sex!! He was lame. I'm sure he thought he was being quite funny. But no.

Developments in the Dating World

2011-04-20T09:30:00.000-07:00

Minor though they may be.

I do not date very much. Not really because I don't want to, I just don't get asked. The last few years, I don't really put myself into situations to meet men who could ask me out. Dating is such a hassle. Too bad it's what you gotta do to get married.

I've always been wary of set ups. Mainly because I don't feel I can be myself on blind dates. I'm always a little shy when I first meet people and even though I can overcome it if needed, I'm usually uncomfortable and awkward. But you gotta do what you gotta do, I guess.

About a month ago, my friend and coworker Emily said she had a friend she wanted to set me up with. That he was really into movies like I was and was a really great guy and thought we would hit it off. Well, I told her I would think about it. My last set up wasn't the best so I was a little gun shy. She didn't push the issue which I really appreciate.

Then a few weeks ago my boss, Adam, sent me an email that said "My wife wants to set you up with her brother." I was stunned. I've only met my boss's wife one time for five seconds and while I know Adam has talked about me to her, he doesn't know many personal things about me. So I don't know why his wife thought we would be a good fit. She's just probably lining up dates for him wherever she can.

So Adam and had a long conversation about his brother-in-law and how weird it would be if it worked out and we were related. It would be so funny. He seems like a nice guy. He lives in California now but is considering moving to Utah in order to find his special someone. He had been out that week for a vacation and General Conference but he was leaving the next day.

The night before, I get a text from Adam telling me he talked to Scott (the brother-in-law) about me and he was interested in taking me out when he comes back into town in possibly a few weeks. I said sure. Then Adam said Scott wanted to talk first via Facebook or phone or whatever and would I add him as a friend. I said sure.

I have added Scott as a friend and have not heard one word from him. No biggie, though when Adam asked me about it he seemed bugged with Scott for not messaging me. Oh well.

During this whole thing I told Emily I would go out with her friend if he wanted to. His name is Jonathan and I checked him out on Facebook to see what he was like. Great taste in music, movies and TV shows. I know he checked me out on Facebook and thought the same thing so told Emily "Why not." He called me on a Thursday to make a date for the next week. Tuesday was decided and that we would go see a movie and maybe get dessert afterward. Monday night he was supposed to call but nothing. It was weird, but maybe he just forgot. No he did call, but my phone is retarded and didn't show me the missed voicemail until the next morning. I called him right away and we confirmed our plans. Dinner at Zupas and go see Win-Win.

The date went very well. He is a really nice guy and easy to talk to. We talked about work and movies and other people we both knew. He had actually been in my ward for a while last year, but I had never seen him at church. Probably because I wasn't there myself most of the time and when I was I kept to myself. The movie was really good. I liked it a lot. I would go out with him again if he asked me. We hugged good bye and he made a vague we should go another movie sometime comment. I agreed so we'll see. Maybe we'll just be movie buddies.

I haven't asked Emily if she got any feedback from him about our date. I don't really want to though I am curious, but I figure his actions pretty much tell me.

So that's my dating life, exciting as it is. Probably my only date of the year. I usually average about one date a year. Maybe once I feel comfortable I'll try online and then that number may go up, but until then....

There Was a Holiday?

2011-02-16T22:54:00.000-08:00

So my normal lead up to Valentine's Day is dread or depression as I am always single and have been for forever. Well, that's not quite true. There were a few times I would plan out little gifts to my friends as I knew I would be receiving Valentines from them. That was usually fun. Actually, I take back the whole dread and depression statement. I'm sure there were some years where I felt that way (probably high school), but mostly it has been another chance to show love for my friends. Not that I need a holiday for that, but hey any excuse for gifting, right?

This year, however, it totally snuck up on me. Or I really just don't care about much these days. Work is so busy. I mean so busy that I am way behind on reading my blogs. Those who know me know how much I usually keep up on my blogs. I think the last time I had zero blogs to read was over a month ago and that was even with me just marking some as read.

My only clue that Valentine's Day was approaching was that one of our admins had each of us secretly deliver a paper heart to a coworker stating what we appreciated about them. A Secret Valentine, if you will. We drew out the heart so who I picked was totally random and I was one of the first to choose so there were many possible options, but I happened to choose the one coworker I have been having the worst time with at work. It was so hard to think of what to say. He's a nice guy so I wrote about him as a person not someone to work with. I didn't do it though until the last possible moment and in the few days that I had he managed to upset me even more. It was so hard. Probably meant to be.

Only when I needed to figure out what to write did Valentine's even enter my mind. Monday, we got cute little sugar cookies that the same admin brought in to commemorate the day. When I went home I just did my usual. Made dinner and watched TV. It was only when I realized that all my shows were focused around Valentine's Day that I thought this may be the most uneventful Valentine's Day ever for me and I was totally fine with it. Thank goodness. Luckily other than the TV shows I wasn't exposed to too much lovey doveyness of people I knew in couples. My mind is just in a fog. I work and have so much going on that when I come home I just veg out and let my brain just shut down. It's great.

The only thing is that there was a knock on my door that night. Our outside light has been out for a while so I couldn't see anything. Before I opened the door I had a feeling that no one would be there and I was right. All there was was a little present left for me. Well, I had to ruin the fun so I went out into the carport and yelled out Melanie's name. I knew she was hiding somewhere because I spotted her truck. It didn't take long before I spotted her crouched behind my rommate's car. She hates that I looked for her but I couldn't help it. She took off soon thereafter. Probably to have more successful ring and runs. I feel a little bad that I didn't do Valentine gifts for my friends this year, but only a little. Like I said above I don't care about much these days. Just getting from one day to the next.

Distant Memories

2011-02-08T16:42:00.000-08:00

Isn't it weird how something you haven't thought about in years or may have never remembered just suddenly gets triggered in your mind?

I was watching a movie a week or so ago and in the final scene these parents are dropping off their daughter at college. They visit her dorm room and kind of decide where things should go. Then they say their final goodbyes and they get in their car and drive away.

This suddenly brought back to mind when my mom drove me to college and we unloaded the car and took it up to my new room. I was the first to arrive and so got to choose what bed I wanted. I think my mom hung around much longer than she needed to, but I know she and I were delaying the inevitable goodbye to my childhood, my dependence on her, and to each other.

My mom and I have always been very close. We laugh together, have great talks and even cuddle once in a while. In my later teenage years I started to hold hands with her when we would cuddle and though partly I did it because it drove my brother crazy; I also loved that we were that comfortable with each other. She's just one of my favorite people.

So as we walked from my dorm building to the parking lot I think we were kind of silent trying to hold back the tears that I knew I would totally break once it came time to say goodbye. And I was right. As we hugged I just broke down and mom did the same. I at least had someone to comfort me. I had met the mom of my suitemates and when I went back to my room and she saw that I was crying she pulled me into a hug. The movie I saw shows the parents driving off and still upset. I wonder how long my mom cried to herself on the three hour drive home.

Even now, I still get a little misty eyed when I have gone home to visit and it's time for me to leave again. I've caught my mom being the same way. We're just a bunch of cry babies, I guess. (:

2011 Resolutions

2011-01-28T23:58:00.000-08:00

Since January is a very busy very stressful time for me, there is no way I could stick to any sort of goal so I decided to put mine off until February. This time I'm gonna be a more specific on how I'll accomplish them. Then maybe it will make it easier for me to actually do it. So here they are:

Lose Weight: Might as well get this one out of the way. It's always on the list. So to start off these are the steps I'm going to take. First off I must use the stairs at work at all times, even walking up from the parking lot to the third floor. Then I need to do at least 30 minutes of exercise five days a week. I really need to cook more. My friend Melanie and I have started to cook dinner for each other two nights a week. So I can only eat out on the weekends. I do go out to lunch with a group of guys at work twice a week so I'll still do that, but if possible I need to eat something somewhat healthy or a smaller portion size.

Learn to Crochet: I learned how to do basic crocheting a long time ago, but I've pretty much forgotten. I really want to learn how to make a really pretty afghan.

Be better with Money: I plan to save at least $500 a month. I just got a raise so this should be totally doable and once I cut my eating out down I should be able to save more.

Traveling: Last year was the year of no travel (such as a long trip somewhere out of state) which was okay because 2009 I went on so many trips. This year, I think I would like to focus on the United States. My friends and I are discussing a trip to New Mexico and perhaps a trip to Seattle and Vancouver. I would love to go to Vancouver. I also may go to West Virginia with my mom to visit our family there and go to Washington D.C. I have friends in Oregon and Pennsylvania so there are lots of possibilities. I just gotta make some of them happen.

Bedtime Routine: So in order for me to be able to climb the stairs at work in the morning, I've got to get up earlier and leave a lot earlier. So at 10 o'clock each night I need to start getting ready for bed. Quick shower, brush my teeth, floss, wash my face and try to be in bed by 11 and read until 11:30 and then wake up and get up at 6:30. This one will be hard because I can usually stay up really late every night, but I really want to start waking up earlier.

Spiritual Improvements: Lately, church attendance isn't high on my priority, but I know it should be. I've mainly just been going to Sacrament meeting and then skip the rest. So my goal is to attend full church at least three times a month and try to really focus on the lessons. Also, I need to start praying. I'm gonna start out small and try praying at least three times a week.

Well, there they are. Nothing too exciting and nothing too new, but things that have been in my head for a long time.

Homemade Christmas Presents

2010-12-30T21:47:00.000-08:00

Okay, so here are the presents I made for my friends and family. There is always a moment when I think well it's not that great, but I'm too tired to care anymore. As I look at these pictures, though, I think most of them turned out pretty good. Thanks to the blog world for all the wonderful tutorials that I used to create these presents.

For Lincoln (my nephew): Felt Mr. Potato Head & Beanie

Everything is stuck on with velcro with some extra pieces to make a Mrs. Potato Head.

I made this out of an old sweater. It my be a little small, but I think it can be stretched out. It was a lot easier to make than I thought.

For my friend Carrie: Dinner magnets, weekly grocery list and tablecloth

When I visited my friend and her husband's apartment I noticed that they planned their meals out weekly and then when I saw this idea, I thought it was perfect. I asked her husband to give me a list of the meals they made regularly and created the magnets and used a template for the days of the week and title.

Another blog provided the grocery list. I printed out 26 pages with two lists per page cut them out so there was one list per week for a whole year.

From yet another blog, I saw a cute round tablecloth made by sewing Ikea dishtowels together (they were actually these same towels). I bought an extra pack in order to make a rectangle one. I loved this gift package and I think this is as close as I could get this year to the perfect gift.

For various friends: Felt Dahila Pins

I loved this pin when I saw it on a blog and thought it would be cute to give my friends. When I first started it seemed impossible for them to turn out cute, but with a little adjusting and perseverance they came out gorgeous. I kept one for myself and I love wearing it. I still have tons of felt left over so I might make more.

For my sisters: Messenger bag and purse

I made this messenger bag for sister McKenzie. It has small loops on the sides to go over stroller handles and then one of the loops unsnaps to make the shoulder strap.

This purse was for my sister Breecia. I used fabric I already had in my stash and just had to buy the handles. It's not perfect but still turned out pretty cute.

Now I take credit for the effort, but I never could have come up with how to do these things without blogs. Seriously, I love them. I have tons of cool crafts I can't wait to make.

It's Christmas Time!!

2010-12-16T09:16:00.000-08:00

Thinking back on the last six months since my last blog post, there really isn't much to say. Just lived life as normal. I went through a sad time when my grandmother died, but she lived a wonderful and amazing life. I'm so grateful for her example and all the skills and memories she bestowed on me. I will miss her terribly.

Other than that just mainly thinking about the upcoming holiday. A gifter's dream and nightmare all rolled into one. As most of you know, I am really big on gift giving. I usually have to reign myself in, especially when I check my credit card balance. But even then, the money doesn't bother me. I just love making and giving presents.

Over the last couple years, giving the right presents seems harder. I remember when I would be super confident that the gifts I made or bought would be absolutely loved by the receiver. The joy of knowing you have given the perfect gift (without asking what they want) is so wonderful. But alas, I haven't had that feeling for a while. I feel like my gifts will be liked or appreciated, but not sure if they will be loved. If I am sure, then that is because I asked for a list and picked from that. Which there is nothing wrong with that.

Lately, I've been making a lot of presents gleaned from the blogs I read. I have a whole list of crafts I want to do so that's where I went first to see what out that list would be liked by individuals on my recipient list. I'm quite proud of what I have made so far. I'll be sure to post pictures after the holidays.

Underlying stress has set in as it usually does for me. Only 12 days left until Christmas and I have a lot to do. Having a bout of pneumonia that left me couch ridden for a week really added to my rush. I've got the big items made so now it's just a few little things, but sometimes those take the most time. Then still some shopping to do for those whom I've racked my brain trying to come up with a present. I think I have it figured out, just need to find time to get to the stores.

Then the wrapping can begin and of course I must try to make it cute. I'm gonna keep it simple this year, but it should still be really cute.

It's all worth it in the end. Like I said, giving great gifts that my loved ones will really like makes me so happy. On the selfish side, it makes me look good. Hey, it's something I'm good at. The only downside to this whole being a gifter thing is the feeling of obligation. I hate it. Several years ago when I started being really good at gift giving, I would get a little bent out of shape that I wasn't receiving good or thoughtful gifts in return. Well, since then I've matured and I understand it doesn't come as easily as others. I try to appreciate any showing of love that is given to me. I hate feeling like I can't give people that I care about a gift because then they will feel obligated to give me one in return and they don't want to do that for some reason. Several of my friends' situations changed this year in that they started their own families and so they can't afford the money or time to "match up" as they would say to my gift to them. I realize that this is the case and don't expect anything. But I'm still single and have the money and time and want to be able to give while I can. When I get married and have kids, these presents will significantly diminish.

So to all my friends and family just please receive my gifts knowing I am giving it out of my love and appreciation for you in my life. Don't feel like you have to live up to my standards of gift giving because I know they can be high. Just make me feel wanted in your life and I will be ecstatic. Usually wanting to spend time with me does the trick. (:

I'm really excited to show everything I've made so in a way I can't wait for Christmas to come, but I still have a lot to do. So don't come any sooner than you have to, Christmas.

Long Time No Read?

2010-06-25T15:47:00.000-07:00

Wow, I have been majorly remiss in posting on this blog. I thought it had only been a month or so but it has been two months. Is blogging (unless you have a purposeful blog) on it's way out? Well, I'll keep mine up even if there are breaks in between. So now for the long update.

Things that haven't changed:
Still live in the same house with the same girls
Still have the same job.
Still not dating anyone.
Still on the qwest for the ultimate secret to losing weight that doesn't require exercise (not really working out though)
Still a TV junkie

Things that have changed:
I am a daredevil - I went skydiving!!
I'm another year older
Lots of friends getting married and having babies (10 people so far that I know got married or are engaged)
I have taken over the management of my book club to give the prior girl a break.
My little sister McKenzie gave birth to my first niece Kaylee (haven't met her yet)

So you know nothing too exciting. (: Skydiving was amazing and I can't believe I did it. I went with Julie and Aly and it couldn't have been better with any other two people. They were fearless. It went by so fast that it didn't even seem like it happened. That's why we had to fork out the dough for the video so we had proof. If I can embed it somehow I'll post it.

Just had my twenty-eighth birthday. It was really nice and very low key. Just dinner at one of my favorite restaurants Cafe Med with a pretty good group of my good friends. And then Melanie, Tiffanie and I went out to the west side to watch Toy Story 3 at Hollywood Connections. It was so dead there we almost had the theater completely to ourselves. Of course, by the end all three of us were blubbering, snotty cry babies. It was such a good movie. A very good day.

A couple weeks ago I went camping with a my friends Tiffanie and Stacey and some other people in our ward in Jackson Hole, Wyoming with a little river rafting thrown in. It was so beautiful there and the weather was perfect. It was just an overnighter so a lot of driving. We accidentally took the long way through Idaho Falls, but the scenery was so amazing I didn't care and I got to know a guy in my ward a little bit. That was one of the main reasons I went. To get to know a few more people in my ward as some of my closest friends have gotten married now. Really other than a handful of people, no one knows me in my ward which is totally my fault and in some cases I actually like it, but I need to become more social otherwise I will definitely never meet anyone to marry.

Two weeks until the annual Shakepeare Festival trip. I look forward to this every year and my mom will be there so it will make it extra fun. And I have set Julie a goal to talk to and possibly get a picture with Brian Vaughn her celebrity crush at the festival. Can she do it? We shall see.

Time to Grow Up?

2010-04-16T15:53:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling this pressure in the air that now is the time to get everything in my life sorted out and figured out. Shed completely my adolescence and become an adult. It's not fun because I have no way to do that. Let me explain.

First step to growing up: Buy a house. Though I have thought about buying a house here and there it was just always something I didn't really want to do until I was married or could afford to live in by myself. Well, the time to buy (as indicated by the market) is now. The tax credit is going away. Interest rates at super low. One problem my criteria as stated above has not been met as well as right now I do not have a down payment. I still look online at all the listings that in my price range and think about living in them and and possibly living in them with a roommate. It's such a big decision and I don't want to rush it, but it's so hard to think about all the good deals I'm passing up. Basically, I don't have a down payment so really that ends that so I should stop thinking about it, I'll try.

Second step to growing up: Getting married. So many of my good friends are getting married this year. I already know of eight people who have gotten or are getting married in the first six months of the year. What is the deal? My friends Melanie and Amber think that this is the year for all of us. That we will all be engaged or married this year. It's just a little joke, but in a way it seems possible, for them anyway. I have nothing on the horizon right now, but who know still plenty of time. The problem is that if at the end of the year I am no closer than I am right now, I think I'll be majorly disappointed. All because of this weird pressure I'm feeling that these things should be happening to me right now.

I know that this is all silly and totally irrational and most of the time I think of these things in that way. There is just something in the air. It's got to be the volume of marriages and the volume of people buying houses. Again totally irrational, but if everyone's doing it shouldn't I? I do still have an adolescent feeling about me that I don't have these things and being almost 28 years old isn't it time I feel more like an adult? I think having major responsibilities makes you more of an adult and I really have none. My little sister just had a baby and in a way she is much more grown up than me and she's only 22! I know it's not good to compare myself to others and usually when I do I tell myself that when it's my time it will be great and for now just live life for me, however I want to. So I guess I'll just keep telling myself that until this weird feeling leaves me.

What I am Craving...

2010-03-30T12:53:00.000-07:00

These days lots of things pop into my mind of what I would really like to make me happy. Some are just for a moment of happiness and others are for slightly longer. So in no particular order:

1. A good kiss (for obvious reasons)
2. A carribean passion Jamba Juice (just had one and I want another one, forgot how good they are)
3. To get on top of all the stuff I've got to do at work. I feel so behind.
4. A cousin's weekend (geez remember when we used to have those pretty semi-regular, its een forever)
5. A hug from my mom
6. A hug from my sweet little nephew
7. Okay a hug from anyone and everyone (well maybe not everyone, creepsters need not apply)
8. My own place (still looking but it's on the back burner)
9. Overcoming nervousness when speaking in the conference room (more on that later)
10. More motivation to lose weight (actually I did but it was a fluke sick thing, I'm sure I'll be back up)
11. More sleep (just go to bed earlier you nitwit, I say this to myself all the time, it doesn't work)
12. To be a morning person (I would just get so much more done)
13. Whiter and healthier teeth
14. A new mattress
15. Smaller pores
16. To be finished with my book club book

What I've Been Up To Part V

2010-03-26T17:11:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to date for a while now, but guys aren't really knocking down my door. I very briefly tried the online thing, but don't think I'm ready for that yet. About a month ago, a friend of mine asked if I would be willing to be set up since I wanted to go out on a date to get me back out there. I said sure without any details about the guy. What could it hurt, right?

All she told me then was that her boyfriend wanted to set up his sort of shy friend with a nice girl. So she passed along my number to her boyfriend who I guess passed it a long to the friend. As the weeks went by I never heard anything. My friends who knew about this would check in, but I had nothing to report. My friend, Sarah, would text her boyfriend to see what the hold up was. Not sure if that was a good idea. I didn't really care if it happened or not, but I was making my friends happy by being willing.

The last time we talked about it was on St. Patrick's Day when Sarah said she knows he has my number so he should be calling any time. Sarah had always made it sound like she and her boyfriend would double with us, but that she wanted him to call me first so we could talk or something. I was kind of glad of that. Doubling would definitely take the pressure off.

So tonight I received this text:

"Hi, it's Chad. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. Track is keeping me really busy, but I have spring break coming up in April. Maybe we could get together for dinner."

Since I was never told his name, I wasn't sure if this was the guy. Also the whole "sorry it took me so long to get back to you." threw me off. Like I had tried to contact him or something. So I wrote back. "Are you sure you have the right number?" He confirmed that he was looking for me. We briefly chatted about how he his teaching Track in Payson right now and I thought we would chat more, but he took a really long time to respond to my texts. So I said I would be up for dinner.

We then worked out the details of the date. He asked me when would be a good time during the first week of April and what time and if this restaurant would be okay. I guess that's nice to check but I think I would have liked it more if he would have been like how about Thursday at 7:00? He take the reigns a little. Oh well, maybe he's nervous. I am too, it's my first date in a really long time and a blind one at that. He asked if I would like him to pick me up or feel more comfortable meeting him at the restaurant. I opted for the pick up. I think it would have been even more awkward looking for someone you have no idea what they look like. Doesn't seem like we'll be doubling, but we'll see.

I'm just going to try to keep the mantra in my head that this is just for fun, no pressure. Just getting to know someone new.

My early impressions are that I'm a little dissappointed he asked me out over text, but he is shy I guess but I think that is somewhat of a no no to do. So I've got two weeks to gear up for this thing. I'll keep you posted on any updates.

What I've Been Up To Part IV

2010-03-25T17:25:00.000-07:00

I've been to see quite a few movies recently some with friends and some on my own. I love going to movies alone. If you haven't tried it, you really should. It's so freeing. No worrying about having to save seats if you're meeting up with people. You can catch up on reading if you get to the theater early and have time to kill. Of course, I love going to movies with friends too, but I like to see a lot more odd films or R rated films that my friends won't see.

Here's what I've seen lately from most recent:

Princess & the Frog: I'm so happy that Disney got back to it's roots with classic 2D animation. This movie was pretty cute, though not quite up to their earlier stuff but close. I liked it.

Up in the Air: I really liked this movie. George Clooney at his best.

An Education: This movie was good. Slightly gives a creepy feeling, but the lead actress Carey Mulligan is wonderful. I saw it at the Tower Theater which gives an interesting indie feel.

Alice In Wonderful 3D in Imax: Not as good as I hoped. The best part was Johnny Depp, but even his part wasn't all that spectacular. Helena Bonham Carter was pretty awesome too.

Invictus: I hadn't really cared to see this film, but it turned out to be pretty fascinating. Even though it may have gone on long I loved the rugby matches. I never really understood how rugby was played but I do now. I kind of want to know a little more about South African history.

Leap Year: I went in with pretty low expectations and even though I predicted the whole outcome, it was still kind of cute. The lead guy just got me with his eyes. He really knows how to gaze.

It's almost like I've gotten back in my groove of movie watching. I used to go to the movies all the time. My friend Stacey invites me to her weekly movie going but I don't always go because she sometimes picks movies that I'm not really interested in. Plus I need to save money.

What I've Been Up To Part III

2010-03-24T19:52:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to think of a goal or something to write about. I've been told that my blog should have more of a focus and then it would be more interesting. I totally agree, but I can't seem to figure out what that focus should be. My friend Amber has a blog about how she is giving up buying new clothes for herself for a year, which hearing how much she spent on clothes last year will be quite the thing for her, but it's going really well and I love reading about her experience. My cousin Julie is documenting her weight loss, which is phenomenal, and her blog is really interesting too. Hey that movie Julie & Julia was about a goal and it was made into a movie, it had to have been interesting.

It's not that I really need my blog to more interesting so more people will read it, but maybe if it was more interesting to me I might write more. I have ideas, but they all have to do with giving up something that I'm not so sure I'm ready to give up even though it would be really good for me. I'll try to think of something I would like to do. But you know me I've tried these things and then I lose interest so don't hold your breath that anything will come of this.

What I've Been Up To Part II

2010-03-23T17:21:00.000-07:00

I don't know why, but I had a craving to watch Voltron. Do you guys know what that is? It's an old cartoon. My mom had a few episodes recorded on a tape and I remember watching those episodes all the time. I won't go into too many details, but it's about four space explorers and a princess who pilot robot lions to defend Planet Arus against the villains of Planet Doom and when needed the lions come together to form the almighty robot Voltron. They are the Voltron Force. The king of Planet Doom is Zarkon and his son Prince Lotor is obsessed with Princess Allura (one of the pilots) and hatches plan after plan to try to capture her so he can force her to be his bride, but is always defeated by Voltron. Anyway, only having watched a few episodes I always wondered what happened in the rest of the series. So I turned to my wonderful Netflix and hey guess what they had them all on instant play so this last weekend I've been catching up with the adventures of Voltron.

Just to let in you in on a little sordid detail about myself, I actually only watch the episodes that deal with Lotor plotting to capture Princess Allura. There are some episodes where Zarkon wants to take over Planet Arus and it doesn't focus on the princess. I read an episode guide on each episode to see what happens in the episode and then watch the ones with that plot. I am totally drawn to those episodes. There's something about a good looking villain (because even though he's blue, he's kinda hot for a cartoon, oh man am I revealing too much about myself) that wants to take off with a fair maiden. This is a story that has been told over and over again so it's not so weird that I like it. But I think or I hope that Princess Allura ends up with the leader of the Voltron Force, but he's pretty clueless.

What I've Been Up To Part I

2010-03-22T19:24:00.000-07:00

So just in an effort to get back into blogging, I figured I would let you all know what kind of stuff I've been doing lately in little mini posts. It's nothing exciting.

So to me the most exciting thing that's happened (and this will show I sad my life really is. (:) is that I finally cleaned my room. To most people this wouldn't seem like anything, but I don't even remember the last time my room was clean. Maybe sometime before Thanksgiving. It was crazy y'all. I was constantly stepping over things getting around and I didn't really spend much time in there except to sleep and get ready. But this weekend I finally tackled it and it is gorgeous and it makes me so happy. It's amazing how that works.

Decisions Decisions

2010-03-10T14:40:00.000-08:00

Wow, so I know it's been a really really long time since I've posted. I've been really busy lately. Work has been crazy and hard that when I come home I just want to veg in front of the television.

The last couple weeks have been pretty crazy for me personally. My friend Melanie's roommate is moving out at the end of March and I've been wanting to move out of my place for a very long time, but of course it needed to be the right fit. I always thought moving in with Melanie would be perfect, but when the time came I hesitated. A million thoughts running through my mind trying to determine if this was the right thing to do.

I had already thought about looking into buying my own place, but was still really nervous about it so I didn't do anything. Well, with available room in Melanie's place looming I needed to look into really quickly, especially as the tax credit deadline is getting closer and closer. So I called a mortgage broker who was really nice and I got pre-approved for a loan. Awesome! So then I started looking online for condos or townhomes in my price range. Nothing really looked that great and again got too nervous to call a realtor. Meanwhile, Melanie's landlord is wanting a yes or no if I'm moving in.

Melanie was very willing to give me a lot of stuff to move in. I have cable and tivo right now, she was willing to get cable and we would all split the cost and possibly internet. The room I would be moving into is smaller than my current room but I would have my own bathroom. I have some large pieces of furniture and it seems like Melanie's place is already full of furniture. Where would these things go? She just said we would make it work. She really wanted me to move in and I loved the thought of living with a good friend. I think that's what I've been missing the last couple of years since Loralee got married.

I decided not to buy because I didn't have the down payment and I didn't want to take out a loan for that as well. So I figured I would just save and do it later. Sure I'll miss out on the tax credit but it just didn't seem right anyway. The next decision was just whether to move in with Melanie. Day and night I thought about all the pros and cons. I went back and forth so many times. I love my current place, the rent is great, my room is set up perfectly and there are a lot of perks to where I live. There is just one major detriment that most of you all know about that has made me very unhappy. My roommate's boyfriend sleeps over at house quite frequently. I have come to really hate his presence. I could go on and on but I won't.

But would it be worth it to move into a smaller bedroom, have my own bathroom and higher rent and going up in the number of roommates? There are three of them whereas I only have two now. This was the question in my mind. I prayed about it. I just couldn't completely commit to moving in with Melanie. If Melanie would move somewhere new with me that we both really liked, I would do it in a heartbeat, but I just couldn't decide and I knew the landlord was waiting. Seriously this was really stressing. It was the last thing I thought of when I went to sleep and the first thing I thought of when I woke up.

I emailed Melanie yesterday to ask the landlord what the security deposit would be. I was super close to saying I would move in. Sure, I'll be a little more cramped, but I'll make it work and all the fun will be living with Melanie will make it okay. I said this to myself quite uncertainly, basically trying to convince myself. I don't know if that was because I was just scared of change and the hassle of moving or I just knew it wouldn't be right. I really don't know.

Well, Melanie emailed me back today with a forward of an email from the landlord that said that the rent would go up with me moving in because they should have raised the rent last year for everyone but didn't to be nice but as people move out and new people move it would get raised. So now the new rent would be $75 more than I am paying and I just couldn't do it and Melanie completely understood. So this was a long story to tell you that I'm staying where I'm at for the time being. I will still look into buying or maybe just find a place of my own that I can afford. But right now I'm gonna try to save to get by next year.

Cool Guys to Work With

2010-01-26T17:04:00.000-08:00

I've been having some pretty interesting conversations with my coworkers. They are both male and married since forever. They like to give me advice on what to look for in guys and other aspects of my life. They want me to be happy. I've kind of known, but never really thought about it that much until today, how Peter Priesthood they both are. Never watch 'R' rated movies, would never have thought to make out with a girl just to make out with her, and read scriptures and pray every day. Okay not all those things make them Peter Priesthood, but it's what we discussed today and if you had heard how they said things you would agree.

The thing is they are so fun to talk to and are pretty much non-judgmental. At least not of me, and you know me, I'm pretty honest. Today I talked about how I could really use a good kissing session with someone I was somewhat into but if we dated or not it wouldn't matter. It's been a long long long long time, okay. They argued against it, of course. Okay really by this time I was just talking to my boss. He argued against it, but I never felt like he thought less of me that I wanted that. He's been married since he was 22 and I think guys who have done that just don't get it when you get to be my age and not married. I joke around with him all the time. I said today that even though I would like to be married someday, I'm not sure I'm ready. So not really looking for Mr. Right, but sure could use a Mr. Right now. And he maybe Mr. Right now could turn into Mr. Right, but no pressure.

Anyway we laugh a lot and I love their advice. I can tell they genuinely care about me, my salvation, my happiness, my career and all that. I finished the Book of Mormon on Sunday after probably five years of reading it. Maybe less, I'm not sure. They both gave me high fives. One of them had been on my back about finishing for a few months now so he was excited. It was sweet. I like that I get along with them so well. It really makes this change in jobs so much better.

Homemade Christmas Presents

2010-01-14T18:42:00.001-08:00

Okay, here are the things I made for Christmas presents. Not as many as I had originally intended and there is one still to be finished. I'm pretty pleased with how they turned out.

I made DVDs for my friends that I went to the British Isles with. It has video and picture slideshows of our trip. They really liked it. We watched it together on New Years Eve.

I made magnets for the girls in my book club and for a few other friends and family members. They really turned out cute.

These are throw pillows that I made for Melanie. I've been wanting to make them for her for a long time and this Christmas was the perfect opportunity. I found the fabric at Ikea and I bought pillows from D.I. to be the pillow forms.

These are the two maternity shirts I embellished for Loralee. It was pretty fun making them and I may embellish some of my own t-shirts now. It's pretty easy.

Anyway, nothing too amazing, but they were well received. Now I just have to attempt to make a temple bag for my mom and I'll post about that when it's done.

Things Gotta Change

2010-01-07T20:58:00.000-08:00

In analyzing the funk, depression or whatever you want to call it (I like hormonal imbalance) I've been going through the last couple weeks okay years, but it's been more acute recently, I've decided I'm tired of it. Not to say that just because I have decided that that it's gonna go away, but things need to change and I need to be more proactive to change them. My first try was creating a profile on eharmony.com. It was kind of a free trial for a few days and filled out (or mostly Melanie filled out) all the questions. The next day there were several matches. Unfortunately, I couldn't see their picture unless I subscribed and I hadn't decided to do that. Anyway one guy started up a kind of communication that I just needed to answer some more survey like questions. No big deal, right? Well, I freaked out a little and with all the stress from work building I couldn't handle it and closed my eharmony account. I'm not ready for online dating, yet. Plus, I'm trying to be better about spending and didn't really want to pay the money for it. I want to try the real world first.

Because really, I'm not trying. I spend most of my time with girls. And if guys are present they are usually with one of the girls. I know very few men in my ward, probably because I don't go to any activities. I've felt a little above them, but I'm gonna get over that. In my last ward, I went to a lot more activities and I knew a lot more guys. Not that that got me anywhere but I'll get into that in a second. So I plan to go to more ward activities this year. At least one FHE a month and I want to join the ward choir.

Now just attending isn't going to be enough. This is gonna be the hard part, I've got to be social. I'm not social. I get nervous about what to say. I'm not good at small talk. But I am determined to practice, practice, practice. And if putting myself out there doesn't work, which it might not, I'll ask guys out. I need to practice dating so that it's not this huge deal or so serious. Just fun. So I'll ask guys I wouldn't mind getting to know better but just want to have a good time. This last part might not happen for some time, because a good friend told me today when I was talking about this that I have a confidence problem. It's true I do. So I'm hoping going to more activities and being more social will help with that.

Other things to change. I've got to be more on top of things at work. My new boss expects a lot from me because he believes in me. It's been a long time since I've had that and I don't want to let him down.

My living situation. Though I've tried to change what I can of what I don't like about where I live, it hasn't helped. There's only so much I can do and take. So I might move this year. I've been looking for a while, but until I can get my spending under control (another thing to change) somethings aren't turning out. And I already know I can't move for the sake of moving. I love a lot of the comforts I have here. I'm going to look into buying and see how that might work or just getting a place to myself, but still renting or anything. I need to seriously look into it. A change in that would be good for me I think.

I hope that all this will help, if not get me a man, then at least add to my happiness. That is most important. I can see me totally not following through all this but I'm gonna try to. I already plan on going to FHE next week, sledding, should be fun.

Christmas Shopping Status

2009-12-14T15:48:00.000-08:00

Well, I feel like I'm doing pretty well this year though some days are going pretty quick. I have most of my actual shopping done for gifts that are store bought. Just one or two people left and I know exactly what to get and where to get it, I just gotta get my fanny out the door. Everything else is sitting in a little pile in a corner in my room waiting to be wrapped or is enroute (or better be) to me and should arrive soon. The joys of online shopping.

The things that are left are the time consuming homemade gifts. The gifts that every year as I start to make I think, why do I do this to myself. This year isn't that bad, actually. I've toned it down a little. I realize that in giving homemade gifts that there is a little selfishness going on. As you know I read lots of craft blogs and tutorials are my favorite. I always want to try them all, but never for myself. Even though I would love to have any of the things. No, for me they all have to end up as gifts. So I think of who would like said homemade goodness and set forth to make it. That's my motivation to actually do it. I really want to try all the tutorials, but if it's not gonna be a gift it will never get done.

Like I said this year it's been toned down a bit. I even abandoned a project half way through I was really looking forward to doing because the expense was becoming more than I wanted for the little project. Usually that doesn't deter me, but I only had a day to finish and the thought of going to Walmart for the fifth or sixth time for this project was enough. I'll come back to it again someday and go about it a lot better. Most everyone is still getting some form of homemade present but only a few will have that be their main gift, the rest it's just a fun little addition.

I was hoping this last weekend I would get most done, but distractions got the better of me and although I got one major gift done, there are still three or four more to go. They aren't big but like most of my projects they are time consuming. It always amazes me how much time it takes to finish some things.

I plan on photographing all my projects and I'll post the pictures after Christmas. Mainly for my own documentation but for the conceited side of me I do love the praise which inevitably follows. Isn't that such a conceited thing to say. I actually would find it refreshing if someone told me they didn't like what I made just to keep me in check. And it could very well happen this year. I'm being a little risky on a couple gifts, not sure whether they will be liked. Crossing my fingers. But really you always take that risk when giving gifts unless you get exactly what was asked for. One of my friends is getting just that. I very rarely ask for ideas but this year I did because sometimes people deserve to get exactly what they want even if it isn't the most exciting gift to give and probably won't be remembered. That person will be happy which will make me happy.

Then on to the dreaded wrapping.

I'm Movin on Down to the 3rd Floor

2009-12-04T15:36:00.000-08:00

Well, I have finally, officially moved down to my new cubicle at Suburban Land Reserve. It's quite a bit smaller space, but as everyone likes to point out "You've got a Window!" That is nice, not that there is a particularly nice view but it's something. Though I was little worried about the smaller space at first, I think I'm gonna like it. It's kind of cozy actually and everything is within reach. What I like best is the high walls. I'm a type of person who loves privacy when I want it and my cubicle at PRI had high enough walls with a little dip where you enter. My new SLR cubicle has high walls all around and I specifically requested that. So my furniture and the walls look like they came from the eighties but it will do for now. I'm working on a temporary computer that is pretty slow, but hopefully that will get upgraded soon after the new year.

I've been pretty worried about this move even though I've been wishing for it for over a year. I think it would have been somewhat different if I had transferred and PRI had to hire a whole new person because then I could just train that person and be done, but where PRI is merging with another company I have to train several people who already have existing processes and other duties so it will be interesting once that gets started. Until then I'll still be helping PRI out with my things. I think now that I'm officially here I'll get more excited about this move as my new duties present themselves. I know everyone is very excited for me to be here because they really need the help.

I think my new boss is going to be really cool. I've been working with him now for a year. Luckily we already have an established equality, which is really nice because I feel like I can be myself and question his decisions and he'll be okay with that. I have to know a why behind things, it gets me in trouble, but it makes me feel better I guess. And I can tell him when he's being a jerk so that's nice. I don't think he quite gets me yet, but he likes to think he does.

I attended my first major meeting here at SLR. It was a budget meeting, which I have never attended before and Chuck (my old boss) was there too so it was almost satisfying being in there to show him "See these guys think I'm important enough to be here." I didn't say much in the meeting and lots of stuff went over my head, but I still found a lot of it interesting. I still don't know what my role will be with all of that but I liked being involved.

I'm pretty excited and nervous for what the future holds, but it's looking good. There are a great group of guys here and only one other girl (who is super sweet) so a lot less drama. I'll definitely miss seeing my PRI buddies upstairs everyday, but I have made them promise to still invite me on drink runs and our two days a week lunches. Things are looking up in my professional life, now if I can just get control over my personal one things will be awesome.

Ireland Day 2

2009-11-10T12:35:00.000-08:00

Okay, back to the trip. There are more pics I could upload, but doesn't look like I'm getting to that, so I'll just go with these ones that I did a couple weeks ago.

Here we are in Glenanitchaquin Park, a stop on the Ring of Beara which is a beautiful drive. This place was wonderful. You follow a path and just take in the amazing Irish scenery. This is where we knew we were in Ireland. Here Amber is chasing some sheep in a pasture that we should or should not have been in.

We're still in the park, but heading back to the car.

Here's a shot of the park from atop a hill. It's too bad I don't have a photo of some pretty waterfalls they had here too, but isn't it so beautifully green?

Heading out on this one lane road. We only ran into one other car heading in the opposite direction but we were able to get past each other with some friendly maneuvering.

This is Healy Pass, another stop on the Ring of Beara. So amazing. We got a little rain, but it usually stopped when we wanted to get out and get pictures. How thoughtful.

I know how much you all love the punk jumps and have missed them so in the last few weeks.

Here we are in Killarney. We only stayed for an hour of shopping, which was just enough since all the shops closed about then.

See all the green and gold flags. We're in County Cork alright. The winner of the All Ireland match the night before. We heard from someone that there was going to be a huge party, like 20,000 people in the town square that night, but we had to move on.

But not before Amber let evoked a little leprechaun fun.

Driving north towards our next night's stay. We put in a couple hours driving here to Kilrush where we stayed for the night.

In order to get to Kilrush, we had to take a ferry. It was windy and rainy. Probably the only time our rain coats came in handy, but we could have stayed in the car. We asked for help on how the ferry works from another driver and he offered to have us follow him to Kilrush and a place to stay. There wasn't enough room for all of us, so Sarah B, Amanda and I stayed in the pub B&B and the other three hit up a B&B up the road. It was kind of nice to be in a smaller group for a night.

The other three girls snug in their beds. I don't know why I never thought to take pictures of my rooms until later on in the trip. Oh well.

I'll try to move faster on the rest of the trip, but I'm not promising anything.

Halloween 2009

2009-11-02T16:30:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm so excited to show these pictures. I worked really hard on my costume and it turned out great and I got lots of compliments on it. I felt really good in it and that doesn't usually happen in costumes. So I'll definitely be wearing this one again. So on with the pics!

Amber and me dancing and probably the best picture of me of the night.

Here is the whole group about to go out. Starting with Amber as the mystery masked woman (though she didn't wear her mask often) then Melanie is the vampire, Jason aka Don Johnson, Sarah B is the Devil, Sarah D is a sexy race car driver, Amber's friend April as a sexy flight attendant.

Here I am at the second party of the night. The first was so crowded and we didn't know anyone there so it was a little much. This one turned out to be kind of mellow so we didn't stay too long at this one either. But most of my ward was there so it was fun to see everyone and their costumes. Just more closeup of me and yes I made the hat as well.

Melanie, Dallas, Me, Dustin and Carrie. Those girls are getting a little frisky, eh? I had a really good time. It was kind of funny because normally I throw my costume together that night but I had planned this one out and started it a week ago. Usually every Halloween my friends are all about the parties and getting dressed up and I'm not. This year it was the reverse. All day Saturday I was dreading the mention of not going to parties. I knew we would because everyone knew how hard I worked on my costume, but I was still worried about it. Lo and behold we had dinner before normally dressed and someone was like oh man maybe we should stay in and hang out and I burst out "No! I have to wear my costume!" I think we all had fun, but there have been funner years and funner parties. But I loved my costume and it just came together perfectly. Here's a few more pictures of me, not to be narcissistic, but just to give some better shots. I rarely like to post pictures of me so this is good.

Note to the readers

2009-10-27T12:21:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,

Another British Isles trip post is still coming, but I've just gotten a little preoccupied with other things. Sorry for those waiting on tenderhooks for them.

But since I don't have my pictures with me in order to complete another fabulous post on that subject, I thought I would write about something else that is near and dear to my heart....

TV & Tivo!

That's right. This handy dandy storage system of all my favorite shows has given me so much freedom. I'm an avid TV watcher. I mean avid. I don't mind admitting that I am somewhat ashamed of myself of the amount of TV I watch. But that is how it has always been. Of course, I read quite a bit too, but mostly in summer months and winter, you know when the reruns are on.

If you know me then you know how much I love movies. Well, TV shows are just mini movies. While I was growing up we only had the four basic channels and so I would watch various shows on those channels. Remember TGIF or Must See TV? Oh I was all over it. Then when I got to college the world of cable was opened up to me. I'll just tell you my pool of TV went even higher. I had to have a VCR to record things if I was gonna be gone.

When my second year of college came around, I made a pact with myself that I would not watch any upcoming new shows and as my old shows got canceled I couldn't replace them to reduce my TV watching experience. That worked for quite a few years. But then in the two or three years I threw that pact out of the window and enjoyed whatever. Again with much use of the VCR.

And I've gotten sucked into some really great and some really silly shows, but I try really hard to not let them get in the way of going out and socializing. Even though if you also know me, you'll know that socializing isn't my favorite thing to do, but I push myself. It's not hard either now with shows being aired on the internet for anytime watching its fabulous.

Several months ago a coworker gave me his old Tivo machine, it took a while for me to set it up, but once I did I have not been sorry. It is fabulous. I rarely rarely watch live TV now. I just go about doing what I need to do and then come home and watch all my lovely recorded shows. It's the best thing ever. I start to feel like a couch potato sometimes when my roommate comes home and I'm always in the same position every day. Then I'll usually stay out of the house for a few nights and then catch up on the shows later, because I can now. Better than VCR.

In case you're curious of my current television watching schedule, well I'll tell you. Prepare to be appalled or envious whichever way you float on this issue. This is when the shows air, but not necessarily when I watch them.

Monday:
How I Met Your Mother
Accidentally on Purpose
Heroes
Gossip Girl
Castle
Dancing with the Stars (usually catch on the internet)

Tuesday:
So You Think You Can Dance
V (Starting in November)

Wednesday:
America's Next Top Model
Glee
So You Think You Can Dance

Thursday:
Grey's Anatomy
Flash Forward
Vampire Diaries
The Office
Project Runway
Models of the Runway

Friday:
Dollhouse
Say Yes to the Dress
The Soup

Saturday:
The Dish

Sunday:
Desperate Housewives

There you have it. Pretty disgusting huh, but yet oh so much fun to watch!

Just a small Anecdote

2009-10-12T16:08:00.000-07:00

So today I volunteered to read the scripture chapter for our Monday morning devotional. I did an almost fabulous job. I'm always amazed at how people read things differently (switching words around or reading completely different words) than what is right in front of them. But I was reading this verse and this is how I said it.

Alma 18:26-27
"And then Ammon said: Believest thou that there is a Great Spirit?
And he said, Yeah."

The verse really reads
"And then Ammon said: Believest thou that there is a Great Spirit?
And he said, Yea."

See the difference? I corrected myself right away but it elicited quite a few chuckles and I just said that I was giving it my own American spin.

Continue down for the next installment of my British Isles trip if you haven't already read it.

Ireland Day 1

2009-10-09T14:33:00.001-07:00

I meant to put this post up on Friday, but Blogger was giving me troubles uploading pictures. So hopefully, there won't be as much space between posts going forward.

Anyway, today we will look at our arrival in the beautiful country of Ireland. We arrive at around 7:15 am to a very empty airport. We proceed to the bathroom and kind of get ready for the day and church because we can't get our rental car until 8:00 am. I was not in a very good mood this morning, so I stayed pretty quiet and went about my business getting ready and avoiding everyone. Once we got our rental car (and hooray that it was a seven seater so we could all be together all the time, a blessing in so many ways that we had yet to realize) and strategically fit our luggage, just barely we were off. We had three designated drivers for the job. Now you might recall that Ireland drivers drive on the left side of the road and the steering wheel is on the right side of the car. Melanie drove us into the city of Cork where we going to church. Once in the city the stress really took hold, but after two nail biting hours of finding our way we made it to the church just in time for Sacrament meeting.

I dozed off and on throughout. But it was alright and it was fun listening to a talk with the accents. We chatted with some of the congregation afterward and then we headed out, this time Amber at the wheel. By this time we had a system in place where there was the driver and a co-pilot in front who told the driver when they needed to turn what lane they were going to turn into. Then there was the navigator. Unfortunately, during Amber's turn the co-pilot told her wrong and we headed into oncoming traffic. Luckily, the Irish are smart enough to employ a sticker that is a big red 'L' that means this is a new driver so everyone was pretty nice and let us back up and get into the right lane. But Amber was pretty frazzled and I was chastised because I screamed, but I couldn't help it. It's instant reaction. After that, we all tried to remain calm for any driver. The next challenge were the signs. They didn't really give much warning before you needed to turn. I don't know how many times we would tell a driver they needed to turn somewhere and they would say I need more notice than that. Well, we tell you when we know.

Our first stop was Blarney. We checked out the castle admission prices and times and decided to head to get some cash first and then eat lunch.

You always knew where to find ice cream in this country due to these big cones.

We ate lunch in a small restaurant and Sarah really enjoyed her big beer glass of water.

Here we are! Blarney Castle, once on the grounds we were already in awe and of course took some time to get some punk jumps in, but none that really came out that great.

A more close-up view of the castle.

I'm inside one of the watch towers I think. It was all so amazing.

This is looking down into the center of the castle from the top. It was all open. The castle is just in ruins mostly.

Here we are in line to kiss the Blarney Stone at the top of the castle tower.

This is Sarah kissing the stone. She had the best picture of what it's like. This guy holding her was kind of funny, but he had the same lines for almost all of us. Asking us if we were scared and all that.

This is the Blarney House on the grounds of Blarney Castle.

Just a little behind the photo photo I thought was kind of cool.

This was probably my best punk jump and probably the last one you'll see me do. It's all about perspective on the jump. The photographer was always low to the ground looking up at us as we jumped. I probably barely got a foot off the ground.

Heading to see more of the grounds.

So beautiful!!

After we were done at the Castle we crammed back into the car and headed west to our next stop. I was kind of the navigator and tried to keep us on track. It was only an hour and a half drive so I was really pushing to get us to Kenmare. Once there we needed a place to stay. We happened upon a Bed and Breakfast that looked cute and I was sent into investigate. After some deliberating and lowering of the price we took it and we were so happy we did. It was the best night's stay we had. Check out the beds.

The bathrooms were really nice and modern too. Our hosts, Sam and Sheila were wonderful to talk to and made our stay so great. That night in search of some live music and Irish Dancing we went into the center of Kenmare. County Cork and County Kerry (that we were now in) had had a Galic Football match (sort of rugby soccer) called the All Ireland (equivalent to our superbowl) that day and County Kerry won. So there were lots of people in all the bars very drunk celebrating. We encountered many men very eager to chat with six American girls.

This one in particular took quite a fancy to me. He was crazy drunk and not attractive at all, but followed me around for quite a bit. I have other photos of him but I'm too embarrassed to post them on my blog. I was teased quite a bit about him.

After some of us got some food in us we headed back to the B&B since there wasn't much else to see and got a great night's sleep.

London

2009-10-05T22:12:00.000-07:00

Okay here is the beginning of the details of my trip with pictures. Enjoy!

Newly Arrived in London waiting for the tube in the Underground.

Schlepping our bags to our first hotel through the city. There was a lot of this throughout the trip as we only slept in the same place twice two nights out of the whole trip. Once we got settled we headed out into the city.

The view from the top of St. Paul's Cathedral. The one and only time we climbed lots of stairs. Thank goodness.

Sarah June and Amanda

Me and Amber standing opposite the cathedral about to part ways. Since four of the girls hadn't been to London before and Melanie and I had; we separated after this so they would go see things we already saw and we would see new things.

We hit the tube station at full speed, okay not really. We kind of eased along on this day. It was nice but a part of me regrets that we didn't speed ourselves up more and get more in.

We had lunch at this little outdoor restaurant in Covent Square and I had the most delicious panini. We did a lot of people watching, which was interesting. There were quite a few street performers who when they are done verbally solicit for money. It was like they had scheduled times to perform too, because when one guy finished another one started to set up for his show. It was very interesting.

This guy was really funny and had pulled in quite a crowd. Here he is just about to walk this rope while juggling three large knives and he did very successfully. He was very adamant about getting paid, which kind of turned me off and ruined the novelty of the experience but Mel and I each gave him a pound because he was pretty entertaining. The performer right after him actually called to me as I was walking by and I tried to ignore him, but I had to turn around since the square was virtually empty now. These guys are also set up with microphones and speakers. It was really odd. Anyway some silliness ensued with me being cuddled up next to some guy sitting on the curb and the performer taking my purse and making me chase him for it. It got old pretty quick let me tell you. So we moved on.

To Trafalgar square. It's famous for Nelson's column and the National Gallery. It had a really good vibe. There was a group of mimes all copying one mime on top of a column. It was very silly.

There was also this huge art installation of a chess set as you can see behind me. It was really cool. Then we headed into the National Gallery and saw some amazing portrait work and some Monets which are my favorite. The colors were so vivid in most of them. It was amazing.

Unfortunately, we arrived at Harrods too late. It's the largest store with seven floors. We just did a little window shopping and then headed back to the hotel. The other girls had all returned already. Here is what they had been up to while we were gone.

They took the tour of Tower Castle and Bridge. Sarah Davis, Amanda and Sarah Buttars

Amber and Sarah B.

They took a river tour and passed Big Ben and the London Eye while seeing other major sites in London. They next headed to Picadilly Circus, which is similar to Time Square.

The next morning Melanie and I headed out bright and early to take the train to Salisbury to take the tour to Stonehenge. "The greatest of all the henges!" We were pretty tired due to not a very good nights sleep. Melanie wasn't sleeping well anyway and then about 1:30 am an alarm went off. Everyone thought it was my phone alarm, but no it was more like a smoke alarm or something. It eventually stopped but not too long later it went off again. I decided to unplug some things that were charging and see if that did anything and it never went off again. So we only had a few more hours to sleep.

Our train ride to Salisbury was very interesting. A guy decided to sit down next to us on the train even though there were plenty of seats elsewhere. He was pretty granola. His name was Graham and he just chatted with us for our entire trip about life and his anxiety attacks and how to him the train was like a prison because you have to buy your own water. He was pretty out there but fun to talk to. He made us laugh quite a bit and he was really nice. He did swear quite a bit, but everyone does over there. He made fun of my accent because I pronounced Salisbury wrong and made me repeat it until I got it right which I knew how to say it, it just came out a little too American for him, I guess. Anyway, I could talk a lot more about him, but we'll move on.

After a short bus ride we arrived at Stonehenge, we had an audio guide and took our time going around the circle. We took lots and lots of pictures. And while we were doing this:

The other girls were doing this:

Buckingham Palace

Big Ben

Westminster Abbey

And seeing this:
Buckingham Palace

Kensington Palace

We hopped on the train to go to Windsor. Which confused us quite a bit but we eventually got there after a really long train ride with lots and lots of stops. I had really wanted to tour the castle but we made it too late. A half hour too late.

The door is right there, but dang the cops are there too.

To say the least, I was bummed. Really Really bummed!

But the night wasn't over yet. We had a stressful train ride back to London because I knew we were going to be an hour late meeting up with the girls and I knew that they were going to be buying us tickets to a show. What show, we had no idea so if they weren't where we said to meet we were screwed. As soon as we got out of the tube station at our stop I switched on our walkie talkie. That's right I brought walkie talkies. They came in very handy at this point. We were able to get hold of the girls just as they were walking to the very tube station we were at. We met up with them down the street as a couple of the girls ran back to our hotel to retrieve our tickets that they had left for us. That's when they informed us the show was Wicked and we needed to haul butt to get to the theatre. Oh man, we were running everywhere on this trip. I was so excited though. I've always wanted to see this show.

And it was so wonderful. I loved it! I desperately need the soundtrack.

After the show we got a quick bite to eat at the train station near by and I had my most disgusting bathroom encounter ever. I can't even talk about it. Then back to our first hotel to grab our bags and head to our next hotel which we decided to stay in kind of last minute. It was really sketchy so luckily we only stayed there four hours as we had an early flight out of London. We ordered a cab and drove 45 minutes to the airport and of course we weren't there early enough and we had to run through the airport to our gate because it was final boarding, but the plane didn't even close the gates until ten or fifteen minutes after we boarded. Can I tell you , I am not a fan of the running. Then I slept most of the way to Ireland.

To be continued...

Blogging from Ireland!

2009-09-22T14:05:00.000-07:00

We have just arrived in Dublin and finally have a chance to get on the internet. It's been a crazy past few days with non-stop running around. We finally got some good night's sleep the last couple of nights. There have been mostly good times with a few bad ones. London was crazy and Melanie and I had a good time being off by ourselves for a while. We saw Stonehenge, which was really cool, but we hung out there too long forcing to just miss the last admission to Windsor Castle. I always seem to just miss seeing my castles. But the night wasn't a total loss because we barely were able to hook up with the other girls to see Wicked in London! Which was fabulous! However, Blarney Castle totally made up for it and we all loved it. The grounds are beautiful.

We had quite a few nail biting and holding in screams moments when we started in the car in Ireland. We were all able to fit into a very small van with bags but it was a tight squeeze. It was a manual so only three of us knew how to drive and they were stressed out quite a bit the first day. We did actually head into oncoming traffic once and I couldn't help screaming. But once we got out into the beautiful countryside the girls were able to get pretty used to the roads.

We went on a very lovely drive around and a small scenic hike with waterfalls and what felt like real Ireland country. Everyone there was so excited because Kerry county won the All Ireland Galic Football and so there was lots of drinking going on. We ran into and chatted with quite a few drunk men one who even took quite a fancy to me. Too bad he was not attractive and really only had one major tooth. Unfortunately, the girls have taken to calling him my boyfriend. But he followed me around for quite a bit.

We saw the Cliffs of Moher today and it was so amazing and gorgeous. The weather has been mostly wonderful during our visit and when it rains it just kind of drizzles. Then we saw another small castle that was fun and made it into Galway, a fairly large city which is the main problem for our drivers. But we dropped off the car today and took the train to Dublin and found our latest hostel.

Can I just say that the Irish people are the nicest and most helpful people. We have been so lucky on our trip. I'll go into more detail later. But that's the gist. We'll be in Dublin all day tomorrow and then take the plane to Edinburgh, Scotland in the Thursday morning. It's just been so fast. I can't believe that's it's Wednesday already. Anyway we are doing well and being safe. Well as safe as possible. But it's been great. Can't wait to tell you all more later.

Birthday Present for Lincoln

2009-09-15T07:38:00.000-07:00

In my effort to save money, I decided to make a present for my nephew Lincoln for his second birthday. I decided on a quiet book and would try to use only things that I already had. I did have to buy a few things, but mostly I stuck to my goal. I'm pretty happy with the result even though it took a lot longer than I planned. I had to work almost every minute I could to finish it in time. So here it is:It's a quiet book!The fries actually come out.

The straws come out too.

Pull the tab...

and he slides down the slide, but it's not the best functioning, but I like it.

It would have been nice if this was his reaction to it, but he was pretty uninterested. That's okay though, I expected it. He'll like it when he's sitting in church. Right there he's looking at Curious George dvds that my mom gave him. He wouldn't put them down for the longest time. But hey, all the adults oohed and ahhed over it, which made me feel good. It's not the best sewing ever, but it was an experiment that I wanted to try. I did end up having to spend a little money on beads and fusible webbing and felt, but most of it is made out of stuff I already had in my fabric stash and old clothes that have been designated for fabric use. I figure why give clothes to the D.I. when some of it comes in really nice fabric that is totally useable. So one more craft under my belt. I do really like creating stuff. It gives me a sense of accomplishment that I don't get many other places in my life so please forgive me if I come off somewhat braggy about my projects. Anytime someone compliments me on something I've done I'll usually be pretty modest and say it was nothing and point out imperfections but inside there is still partly that but then there is also "Yeah, I know. I'm pretty awesome, huh?" Wait, no no that's not me. I am the all encompassing example of modesty. (;

Kids at the Park

2009-08-21T11:13:00.000-07:00

Last week my dad, step-mom and little brother Saxton came were in town. We all got together for dinner with Jordan and his family and then to wind down the kids we headed to the nearest park. There, Lincoln swung with me in the swings and then tried out all the slides like this one:
Saxton Joined in too
But this slide was Lincoln's favorite.Dad had to hoist him up each time he wanted to ride because it was just a ladder entrance. I stood on the platform to help him into the slide. And Grandpa watched the end to make sure he got out okay.And this happened over and over and over.Lincoln soon figured out how to get himself into the slide and didn't need my help anymore, but I stayed around just in case.Soon Jordan got tired of lifting Lincoln up onto the slide and tried to move him on to something else. Which worked for a little while, but then he was never far from his slide. After Lincoln dug in the woodchips and threw them around a bit he wanted on the slide again. Sweet Grandpa was there to oblige. Such a fun, cute kid.

Organizing the Fridge

2009-08-19T09:23:00.000-07:00

So last night my roommate Jen and I got to talking and bitching and moaning about our other roommate Tamara. Well, all that led to how horrible our fridge looked. It was chock full of crap and it is always so hard to find anything in there. Stuff in the back of the fridge that's been there for ever because no one would claim it. Well, Jen and I had had enough and we decided we need to give each of us individual shelves. We threw lots of stuff away, cleaned out the entire fridge, and labeled the shelves. We were very generous with Tam because she does cook more than we do, but I think this will show her how much stuff she actually does have and will use it. Same with us as well.
Here is the door shelves. We gave Tam the top and bottom shelves and Jen and I are sharing the middle shelf. Can you see what I'm talking about now?

Again Top shelf is Tamara's, but still not quite enough room to fit all of her stuff so Jen gave up one of the bottom drawers, and still we had to sacrifice a little space on our own shelves, TEMPORARILY, to fit the bowl of watermelon and other stuff we didn't know if it was hers or if she would want it. Mine is the second shelf and Jen's is the bottom and one drawer. I know the pictures are grainy but can you see how much stuff she has compared to us? We had to stack and stack her stuff. On Jen and My shelves everything on the right side is ours, and the stuff on the left is hers. Like I said though, only TEMPORARILY. I think this is gonna work out and will be so fabulous. I'm so excited to have my own shelf.

..And They Call the Thing Rodeo!

2009-08-18T10:45:00.000-07:00

So this summer, my friends have introduced me to the joys of rodeos. I've been to one almost every month this summer. I've been to rodeos before. I went to the rodeo in my hometown quite often, but it was usually for the purpose of trolling for guys and not to watch the bull riding. This summer, however, I got really into all the events that rodeos have to offer.

On July 24th, I was invited along to the Cheyenne "Daddy of 'Em All" Rodeo. It was amazing. We had really good seats and saw some amazing cowboys. Cheyenne adds a little more rules than most rodeos so it was a lot tougher for cowboys to get good times. Us four gals had such a good time, checking out the good looking cowboys and enjoying all the events. Best of all my little sis, Breecia, is going to school in Cheyenne so I got to spend a little time with her.Here we are in the car on our way to Cheyenne, which is quite a distance. Clockwise from the front passenger: Melanie, Sarah (Buttars), Me and Carrie driving. All decked out Rodeo style!!
Me and my gorgeous little sister Breecia:
This was right after seeing Kenny Chesney in concert, which was really fun too, but could have been more enjoyable for me if I had known more of his songs. The other gals really liked it and he does put on a good show.

Then the next weekend another group of us headed up to Preston, Idaho to the grand rodeo up there. That one was really a lot of fun and pretty exciting.
Message incoming from God, maybe?

Calf Roping:
There were quite a few cute cowboys in this bunch: (:

Thought Provoking Life Moment

2009-08-17T15:22:00.000-07:00

Last night I was spending time with my friend and her husband. You might have heard of them here on my blog? The ever fabulous Loralee and David? Well, anyway I hadn't been to their place in a while and I always enjoy my visits and I needed a little perk me up. Loralee always has some new design element that she has created for her home every time I come and last night was no different. She had made the most amazing headboard. But I digress.

We were all sitting around the kitchen table and I was giving the low down on our friends and news that Loralee may not have heard. Somewhere in the conversation I said something about myself, which I can't really recall but I think it was along the lines of how I would tell someone how I felt about something even if I knew that they may not like to hear it. Which prompted Lor to say "David said something the other day about you, 'that you always know where you stand with Cassie.'" The conversation went on and I discovered that I'm not always honest with everyone, I can be fake, but it's usually only with people I don't care about. It's the people that are closest to me who I feel okay being myself with and saying what I really think.

It's a quality of mine that I haven't decided if it's good or not. I get mixed reactions. Some of my friends say they like it, but I know there are others who don't. I just tell people the kinds of things that I would want to be told as a friend. This moved the conversation on to how when Loralee and I lived together that when she would criticize me about something I wouldn't get defensive but was very open minded to what she was saying and most people including herself aren't too often like that. I think I would get defensive at first, but then I would usually listen to what she had to say.

I think the only hard thing about being very blunt and honest is when I hurt other people's feelings. And usually I have no idea that whatever it is I am going to say will upset someone until after it's out of my mouth. It kind of shocks me when I realize I've offended someone. But as Loralee pointed out last night. "You always hurt the ones you love." So I guess if I offend you it means I really like you. (:

Really, though I wouldn't change this about me. I like laying things out there. Sure I get myself into trouble lots of times and create unnecessary dramas, but every once in a while it helps. I know I've talked about this before, but it's just something I like to revisit every now and then.

Just a Little Mischief

2009-08-05T17:56:00.000-07:00

So about a month ago, my coworker Chris was going on Vacation for about a week and I needed to take over one of his duties--namely the dreaded check run. Well, I forgot to get his keys from him and he usually locks up the check stock and micro-encoding ink toner in his cabinet. I know we have spares for everyone's keys locked up in the file room, with one person holding the key. Shauna. Well, I got her to let me in and get his keys, but when I opened his cupboards the stuff wasn't there. I soon found out he had given them to our boss for this very reason. Smart guy. As I held his keys and did the check run at his desk, an idea came to mind. I've never done an office prank. (: I tried to think of something easy and quick. I'm too lazy to post-it note his office or anything like that. Unfortunately, I had to give back the keys before I could implement the whole thing right then. So I did what I could with all his the stuff on top of his desk.See those binders-I moved them to the other cabinet. The desk has already been switched around. The printer used to be by the window. I even switched the two monitors. I did every little detail I could get my hands on.Here's me at work. Basically, I just reversed his office. Not too ingenius but I got a kick out of it. I don't have any before pics, I thought I would get them when he put everything back, but he left a lot of it the way it was.

Now don't tell anyone this next part, because it's slightly immoral. I really wanted to go all out with Chris's office but I needed his keys again to get into his drawers. Well, the day before I saw where Shauna kept her key to the "spare key cabinet." And I also know that Shauna doesn't lock her drawers during the day only after she leaves for the night. Well, I waited til she went on her lunch break and then got the key from her drawer--took out Chris's keys and my spare keys and put the key back in Shauna's drawer. Then I was able to accomplish the full prank. The stuff in the second little drawer used to be in top drawer and vice versa. See how that bigger drawer is empty. It's contents went way over here....I hope you can kind of tell from these pics the layout of his office. See above where his family photo are and his phone. They used to be near his computer for easy access.

It didn't really have the outcome I was hoping for. I was out of town when Chris got back so I had a little helper fill me in on his reaction. It was pretty underwhelming, let me just say. I mean for crying out loud, he hasn't really switched much back. Oh well. It was a fun waste of time. And when I got back I had to sneak the key from Shauna's drawer again to mine and Chris's keys back. I took my keys in case they got any ideas while I was gone and wanted to do the same kind of thing. In fact, I completely cleared my desk of most stuff so much so that people thought I had either quit or moved to a different desk.

Just Exhausted

2009-07-21T09:48:00.001-07:00

I'm feeling so tired right now. Sure it could be that I haven't been going to sleep until after one o'clock every night, but there's more adding to it. Some reasons really good and others not so much. I'm on an emotional roller coaster right now where I'm doing good one minute then a thought pops into my head and I'm instantly saddened until another distraction comes along. Also, I've been doing a lot of stuff lately, sometimes every other night or every night. Take this week so far beginning with Saturday.

Saturday, I went to Laguna Beach at Lagoon with friends for a couple of hours making a slight shopping detour at Kohls first. The cement was so hot at Lagoon I nearly burned my feet off. It was really fun though. Then go home and shower and get ready for a free concert in Park City again with another detour of shopping at the Outlets. The band was called Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. It was really awesome and great people watching. The hippies were out in full force.

Sunday, there was church (second time in a row of full three hour church). Then I relaxed for a little while until I decided to walk to Carrie's house to deliver her birthday present. Carrie lives two miles away. And the sun was still out so it was really hot. Not a fun experience, but I made it and will definitely wait until after dark to make that trek again. I got a ride home after hanging out for a little while.

Monday meet up with family for my Uncle Greg and his family's going away dinner. We went to this mediterranean restaurant called O'Falafel really close to my house. It was alright, but not nearly as good as Cafe Med.

Tonight will be another trip to Lagoon with a group of friends. I'm really excited for it even though I am so tired right now. It's always a good time.

No plans yet for Wednesday or Thursday, but who knows. My visiting teachers might want to come over or I'll need to go visiting teaching. Friday, I'll head to Cheyenne for the weekend for a rodeo and concert with friends. Hopefully, I'll get to see my little sister who lives there now.

So just a lot going on and I'm not normally a very socially active person so all this people interaction I think is wearing me out. I'm really loving every minute of it, but work is probably suffering for it. Oh well. (:

The Infamous Video

2009-07-14T08:08:00.000-07:00

I think it turned out really well and I so appreciate all my friends for putting up with my grouchiness to get it done. I had to reshoot a few scenes so that's why there are a couple of people in differnt outfits. I made everyone their own copy with bloopers and deleted scenes. I would love to do it again sometime. Enjoy!

If your interested be sure to scroll down for my post about the Utah Shakespearean Festival.

All the World's a Stage!

2009-07-13T08:57:00.000-07:00

It's almost been a week since I left from the Utah Shakespearean Festival, but it was so fun I must share. I went earlier than usual to spend the 4th of July with Julie so as to cut travel time. It's one of the rare times that I haven't spent that holiday with my mom. So a little bittersweet. I arrived in Cedar City a little after five and after hauling all my stuff up three flights of stairs to Julie's condo, she told me that we were heading to her mom's for dinner and games with her, Jason, Rachel and Kevin. Oh and little Robbie. No time to relax with this crowd. I had a lot of fun and the food was really good. After dinner Julie and I met up with one of her friends to play croquet at the park. It was pretty fun and I won one of the games. Woohoo! Back to Susan's (Julie's mom) for more games which I won a couple. Nice! There was talk of an early game of croquet the next morning, but I was hoping not too early. The boys joked that they would come over and haul me out of bed if they had too. What kind of vacation is that?

Awake early, I was. Okay I realize 9:30 isn't that early to most people, but on a Saturday it is for me. But croquet was really fun and I did really good, but did not win. Next we grabbed a quick lunch and then headed to my cousin Corey's son's baptism. I'm so glad I got to be there. I really felt the spirit and it really moved me to tears to see it. Then we spent the rest of the day at Corey's for dinner and games. There were so many people so it got tiring. Back to Susan's for fireworks and sparklers. Julie and I are so silly when we are together. Our favorite part was the sparklers and we did this thing where we dosiedoe until our sparklers went out. We did it over and over and we laughed the whole time.

The next morning while Julie went to church, I slept in. Finally! I had stayed up late editing so I needed the sleep. When she got back we just had a very relaxing and lazy Sunday. Watched a couple of movies and depressed ourselves by watching good kissing scenes over and over. Just kidding, of course we wouldn't do that. (; We really needed this day because it was packed schedule for the next few days.

Monday was our first day of plays. We met up with the rest of our group, our family from northern Utah that we see shows with every year, at the first play venue. We saw Foxfire. Never heard of, didn't know anything about it. It was a little slow at first and some of us did nod off a time or two. But on the whole it was a very touching and well performed play. Off to dinner at Applebees, a usual haunt for us during this time. Then straight back to kill a half hour or so before the next show which was the Shakespeare play Comedy of Errors. Super funny and a new actor to the festival had the best comedic timing and not bad to look at either and there was even some audience interaction which was new. Afterwards we headed back home to bed after some chatting. Julie and I were bound and determined to attend all the seminars which meant getting up early each day. I'm really glad we did because we got to listen to the directors (who usually are gone when we go, but it was opening week) and some interesting discussion. Well, not all the time. I'm so surprise at the things people get hung up on in these plays, the tiniest little thing that doesn't matter can be discussed for ten minutes.

Tuesday (to be more brief, I'll put into schedule terms since pretty much the same thing happened each day.
-9:00 am attended seminar for Comedy of Errors
-10:00 am remained for seminar for Foxfire with the director and she was really great to listen to.
-11:30 am went to lunch at the Pizza Factory (another usual haunt). Julie and I did make a quick jaunt to Walmart so I could buy a camping chair which are very handy for the seminars.
-1:00 Went to orientation for the next play we were about to see Private Lives
-2:00 Saw Private Lives. Very enjoyable. Lots of British wit and physical comedy takes place in 1930's France.
-4:30-5:30 Hang out in Tracey's (the northern cousin who arranges this for us every year) rental apartment. Find out that Pastry Pubb has reopened and joyous ruckus ensues because it would not have been the same without eating there. So the dinner decision is made. Some of the Webers and Grandma came down today and met up with us for dinner.
-6:45 Orientation for Henry V. Really excited for this play because the lead is played by Brian Vaugn, an amazing actor and Julie and I's favorite.
-8:00 See Henry V and blown away. So good. After Julie and I hung around where the actors come out so we could see Brian. He took a really long time and soon it was just me and Julie and all the actors from the play milling around so I felt a little uncomfortable, but finally we saw, we gazed in admiration and then we left.
12:00 am Home to bed

Wednesday
-9:00 am Seminar for Henry V with the director, super interesting.
-10:00 am Seminar for Private Lives with director
-11:00 am Actor Seminar with the funny actor from Comedy of Errors and his costar. Very cute guys and so funny. Loved it.
-11:45 Left seminar early and walked to the Pastry Pub for lunch. Had the yummiest chicken quesadilla.
-1:00 Orientation for Secret Garden. Weren't sure we needed to go for this but checked it out and so glad we did because the person giving the lecture was so animated and so funny.
-2:00 See Secret Garden the musical. Had a very very minimalist set which was interesting but a little disappointing. Dicken's singing was horrible but everyone else was fabulous and it had Brian Vaugn as well.
-5:30 Head to Lefty's for dinner.
-7:30 Watch the Greenshow
-8:00 see As You Like It. This might have been one of my favorites. So funny and again with the cute, funny guy and another one of my favorite actors, David Ivers. It's a really fun show and some really great lines. The last show.

Thursday
-Julie goes to work in the morning while I'm sleeping and I get up later and pack up and head home. This was such a good year for the Festival and Tracey has already bought our tickets for next year at a really great price. I can hardly wait. This is one of my favorite things to happen all year and I'm so glad I joined the regular group four years ago.

Cookies, Clues, Camera & Cupcakes

2009-06-26T07:40:00.000-07:00

So the day before my birthday I had to prepare a lot. First of all, I needed to bring something to work for everyone. That's what we do, you provide a treat for everyone on your birthday. I know it's a little odd but it works out if everyone does it because then we all get equal amount of treats throughout the year. So I decided on cookies from Walmart's bakery. I got three or four different kinds. Then I bought stuff to make cupcakes, ice cream and misc. things for my birthday. On my way home, Melanie called me and asked if she needed to get me a cake or something. I told her I already bought stuff to make cupcakes. "You know you're not supposed to make your own cake, Cassie," she said. "Well, I didn't want to assume that someone would, but you can bake the cupcakes for me." That's a really condensed version of our conversation, but you get the gist.

So I went home and gather up other supplies and then went over to Melanie's where while we watched The Bachelorette and Buffy the Vampire slayer, she made the cupcakes and I worked on other aspects of the party, like cue cards and clues. Also, I set up the cookies on a nice platter.

The next morning as I strode almost twenty minutes late into work I see Jen outside my cubicle working furiously on something and as she sees me she works even more furiously, but I see that she is hanging "Happy Birthday" signs up on my cubicle. So sweet! Then I let everyone know there are cookies for my birthday and so begins the barrage of "Happy Birthdays" and sweet sentiments. It was great. Lots of people thought my cookies were homemade, because they were very fresh and yummy. Of course, I corrected them. If I was around. So pretty good day at work.

I left a little early so I could finish things up for the party like icing the cupcakes, cleaning up the house, getting the camera ready and recurling my hair. It was not cooperating that day. It was all a big rush, but at 7:00 the first person arrived. It was Tiffanie, my sweet friend from church. On time. Can I just say, that I love when people are on time to events that I plan. It stresses me out when people are late. I mean five minutes isn't a big deal, but any more than that and I start to freak out a little. The only exception would be for a big party with lots of people that it doesn't matter when you show up. Just FYI. The rest trickled in minutes later so I was okay. I explained what we were doing. Earlier that week I sent everyone who was coming an email with the song "It's my Life" by Bon Jovi and the lyrics attached so everyone could learn it for my party.
"Okay, so I've made up clues for you all to figure out where we will be shooting a music video to the 'It's My Life'. I hope you all practiced and know it. I have made cue cards for the verses just in case. In some places you'll be in groups and in others you'll be by yourself. Look into the camera as much as you can. You can lip sync or sing out loud, whatever you are comfortable with. We gonna start right here so you all can get the feel of it."

So I set up the shot and had everyone but Loralee, David and Melanie go out to the back balcony. Loralee and David were the stars for our first shot. Melanie held up the cue cards. We started in the front yard and made our way to the back. Where then everyone was together. Some did really well and others well struggled a little. I knew editing was going to be key in this. Afterwards I gave them the first clue. "Sugarhouse Park!" So we all jumped into two cars and just as we were about to leave Carrie showed up. Yay! Wasn't sure if she was going to make it.
At Sugarhouse Park I had them break into three groups and gave each a section of song to figure out how they wanted to perform. It was great and fun (somewhat stressful) but it took a really long time and we were there for a lot longer than I had planned. When we were done we only had half an hour to maybe forty minutes of light left and still four more places to go. Aaahhh!
The next clue was for a place right in the middle of a busy street where there is a statue and each person alternated a few lines here and there while climbing on the statue. People were reluctant at first but once I showed them that I was willing they jumped on board. The light was pretty terrible so I hope some of it is useable. My friend Jason was already not having fun, because he hates the song and didn't know the words and didn't want to be on camera so we all had to force him a little but I had him help me a lot in other ways. On the way to the next stop I filmed Carrie, Loralee and David in the backseat singing while Jason drove my car, which I will never let him do again.

Since we were losing light, I had us skip going to a fountain at my work and we went straight to the haunted house Nightmare on 13th. It has awesome murals so I thought it would be cool with the song. And it was. Probably my favorite place that we went because everyone did a really good job there. For the last shooting location we went to Liberty Park where there is a mini amusement park with swing rides and a ferris wheel. Luckily, it was lit somewhat so that helped a lot. It was closed but I thought it looked cool with all the swings chained up. But again don't know how much useable footage there will be because it was hard for everyone to get the concept of looking into the camera, but the bloopers will be fabulous! Actually, I think it will turn out great. I'm excited to start editing.

Then we all headed back to my house. I let Jason drive my car home and I didn't like it. It's weird and felt like we were going so slow even though he was going slightly over the speed limit. So he sped up a little but then went a little crazy and swerving the wheel. On 7th East! Hello! So I got a little pissed off and then he kept driving crazy all the way home until I really snapped at him to knock it off. He can really drive me nuts, sometimes.

I calmed down and then we had cupcakes and ice cream. Tiffanie did her special Happy Birthday Dance for me which she only does if it is actually your birthday. It's so great, but will never be recorded for posterity, her rule. Then there was the traditional blowing out of candles and eating and then opening presents. Everyone was so great and I loved all of it. I really need to not plan my birthday parties though because it is kind of stressful. Only because I make it that way for myself. But I'm sure it won't be the last party I plan for myself, because I want what I want.

If you're wondering where I came up with this crazy idea, well it was from reading blogs.

Family Time

2009-06-24T15:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my birthday and it was a really good day. But before I get to that, let me tell you about the previous days before.

Since I was planning on a small party with friends on my actual birthday, my mom came up for a visit the weekend before. She stays at my brother's house so I went to see them all everyday. Friday night I met up with the group at Johnny Carinos, a fantastic italian restaurant. We frequent there quite a bit when mom visits. I hadn't seen my brother's family for a while so I was excited to get to chat with Stacey and play with my rambunctious nephew. Lots of conversation, mostly about my brother forbidding me from going out with a guy that one of my mom's temple coworkers wants to set me up with. Jordan didn't exactly like him in high school. Hasn't seen him since, but is still adament that he is not cool. Well, without my brother's opinion, I had already figured that this guy and I probably wouldn't fit well together anyway. It was just fun to see Jordan get so worked up about it.

After dinner Mom and I babysat while Jordan and Stacey went to a movie. After figuring the complicated multi-media system my brother has set up we decided to watch Twilight. I think everytime I watch that movie, I hate it more and more. My expectations are so low for the next one that maybe I'll like it.

Saturday I slept in and it was so nice. Then sometime in the afternoon after I got ready I headed back down to Jordan's house. There had been much debate about where to go for my family birthday dinner. I was pretty much easily swayed because I just really didn't care. I hate picking restaurants. We had first decided on Tocanos in Provo since Stacey, Jordan and Lincoln would be down there for a birthday party, but as the day wore on I didn't feel like going to Provo. So Jordan suggested a place that is similar to Tocanos called The Ipanema Grill. Good decided, meet them there at 6:30. Mom and I did a little shopping together to pass the time. I can always spend money at Target and they were having a fantastic shoe sale. Mom didn't help any to discourage me. I forced myself to only buy two pairs of shoes out I think five that I wanted. The cutest fancy grey heels that were only ten bucks and tan heels with buckle decoration. Also, a yellow shirt. I need more yellow. Cannot get enough of yellow.

As we headed to meet up with Jordan, he called and said that the restaurant we wanted was closed. Crap. So we had to go through the irritating process of picking another place. I first picked this mexican place but right next door was Tepanyaki and that peaked my interest even more. But at first Jordan and Stacey weren't sure if it would be okay for Lincoln to be near the grill where they make the food in front of you but after seeing the mexican place I was like, lets check it out. Best decision ever. I love Hibachi grilled food. Everyone loved it. So good. Then Mom and I hit a movie like we always do. "The Proposal" I liked and I'll probably see it again with my friends.

On Sunday I went to church and then headed over to Jordan's house again. It was Father's day so Stacey was cooking him his favorite meal. On the way over, I called Dad and chatted with him for a while. Just hung out with Mom and played with Lincoln until dinner. That kid is so funny. The dinner was so good too. Thanks Stacey! Then after Lincoln went to bed we played games. It was a really good weekend.

Coming up, the events of my actual birthday.

Tidbits of My Life Recently

2009-06-17T15:55:00.000-07:00

So some fun stuff, normal stuff and exciting stuff are happening in my life right now. So I thought I would share.

Normal Stuff:
-Got my hair retouched last night. Seriously, I love getting my hair done even though it may seem like I don't need it but it's so fun and I love talking to my stylist. She's like a friend that I only see every few months. I'm spacing out my appointments more though to cut back on cost.

-My birthday is next Tuesday. I've got a fun idea planned for my friends, but I'm in constant worry it's gonna turn out stupid or people won't get into it. I'll tell you more about it afterwards. I had to keep the group a little small so if you weren't invited, I'm sorry. It's gonna be totally lame anyway. (; Make you feel better?

Fun Stuff:
-My mom is coming to town this weekend so I'll get to see her around my birthday and hopefully do something fun.

-Had a cousins weekend in Vegas. (Missed ya Kristi) So much fun. Lots of swimming and laughing. I love how easy going our weekends are. We are just fine staying in and watching episodes of "How I Met Your Mother." Which is so funny, I need that series. I could watch it over and over. It was a long drive, but so worth it and love love love Aly's new place. Fabulous!

-Coming up in July, it will be crazy. I will be spending the 4th in Cedar City, which I've never done before. I'm a little sad to miss out on the Vernal fun but the next week is the annual Shakespeare Festival get together and logistically it didn't seem fun to drive from Vernal to Cedar City. I'm excited for the change though and get to spend a whole week with Julie. Then on the 24th I will be going with three friends to Cheyenne for a rodeo and Kenny Chesney concert. Yes, you read that right. I'm becoming a rodeo gal. They actually are really fun to watch. And hey road trips can be really fun.

Exciting Stuff:
-Call me crazy, but I have got the travel bug. I can't say no to any opportunity to travel. So in September I will be heading to the London once again and then on to Ireland and Scotland. I'll be there for 10 days and with five other girls. I'm so excited. It should be so fun. Of course, afterwards I will have to go into major saving mode. I hope it will be worth it. Can't imagine it won't be. Just please, for my the sake of my savings account, don't mention anymore travel opportunities to me for a while. It's a sickness and I need help.

So that's what's happening. It's turning out to be one of the best summers ever.

Creative Outlet

2009-06-02T16:59:00.000-07:00

As you can tell, I've been really focused on being creative and crafty. But really you have no idea how many ideas come to me in a day that I would love to do. Most ideas are inspired by my blog reading. There are so many amazing, creative people out there who actually make their idea a reality. That's my problem. Implementing my ideas and sticking with them. I think and think about all these things I want to do and run over details, but then nothing ever gets done.

Almost every year I think up gifts to make for people for Christmas that would take time and good thing I'm thinking of this early. I can totally get it done and before I know it, it's December and I've done nothing. I've wanted to make a halloween costume several years in a row, always have to pull something together at the at the last minute or pull out my tried and true graduation robe and use that.

I have this really fun idea that I want to do for my birthday, but I'm mulling over if it could actually be done. Would people really want to do that? What are the logistics? Is it really stupid? Would it be as fun as I play it out in my head?

I want to host more parties of various sorts. Maybe more that aren't centered around a tv show, which I love to do. It's so easy. But Loralee gave me the idea of a craft night. What about a cooking night, where instead of me doing all the cooking we all cook together? A lot of things I think aren't really feasible unless I had my own place. Or if I lived with someone who wanted to cohost things with me. That would be great.

I think I will try to figure out what I really want to do over the summer and when the weather gets colder and people stay indoors more then perhaps I'll really bring one of these ideas to life.

This is all coming about because I'm getting frustrated with myself, that I'm not being the person that I want to be. And it's all out of laziness. I may run some ideas past you sometime, to get some input.

Random Things of the Last Two Weeks

2009-05-28T15:56:00.000-07:00

Going backwards as that will be easier to remember.

I gave blood today. My second time ever and this time I dared to look at the needle, which was a little scary so I turned away as she was putting it into my arm. But I had a very good vein and filled my bag in a little over four minutes. Super fast.

Went home for Memorial Day weekend and lots of fun with family. Thanks again for the hospitality of my aunt and uncle who fed me and my mom two wonderful meals and a constant supply of ice cream bars and sandwiches.

So You Think You Can Dance started again for it's fifth season. Love this show. It's like American Idol but with dancing. So much better because the dances are different every week and are so cool to watch.

Went on a little trip to Hawaii for a few days to accompany my friend who had a work thing. No biggie. I didn't really tell anyone about this trip. Not intentionally, it just wasn't a big deal to me, not sure why. But I had lots of fun.

Well, there you go. That's my last two weeks.

Birthday Pillows

2009-05-18T11:05:00.000-07:00

So ever since, my cousin Julie, bought her new couches for her new home, she has said she didn't like the throw pillows that came with them. I agreed. They were okay, but not very modern or exciting. But she has lived with them for several months now and I didn't know if she still wanted to or was going to ever replace them. Well, as you read several posts ago, the craft bug had hit me again and I was already thinking of what to make and that they should be gifts. Well, Julie's birthday was coming up soon and what better way to hone more sewing skills than make covers for her existing pillows but in a more pleasing fabric? So that's what I decided, the only problem being I had no idea what decorating direction Julie had in mind for her living room. So I asked her. In a just wondering kind of way. She told me things for her kitchen and bedroom and the living room was "red and black with accents of yellow" to go with a still unframed, unhung print she has of this. Awesome. If she thought about it then she could have figured it out, well that I was getting her something for her house but not what and I was okay with that. I enlisted help of a very talented designer, Loralee, to help me pick out fabric. You know how in this post I said my weight loss goal one reward was for Lor to help pick out a fabric for skirt, well I lied. It was for the fabric for the pillows. Even though I technically didn't reach my goal she helped anyway. I also told a few more fibs to get Loralee more information, like when I called Julie and asked her to take pictures of her couches and email them to me because my friend Carrie was thinking of buying a red couch and I wanted to show her what Julie's looked like. Total lie. So once I had the fabric and notions, I was ready to sew. I was always worried that she wouldn't like them, that they didn't go with what she had in mind or that the covers wouldn't fit. I made a guess at their size, hoping the covers would at least be too big so I could take them in on my next visit. It was a big risk, but I knew even if she didn't like them she would appreciate the thought. Here's what they look like.

There are three of the plain black and white and then the fourth has the felt snow mum attached.

There was a free download for the pattern for the Snow Mum flower by Amy Butler and I just loved it and really wanted to make it so I thought it would be perfect for Julie's pillow.

I could have just done the four but I wanted to give that accent of yellow too. I had never appliqued anything before and if you saw it in person you would see all the flaws, but it still looks nice.

I sent them to Julie last week and she probably got them sooner but she never checks her mail so I wished her happy birthday and told her she should be getting a package. So she got her present on her birthday and emailed me to tell me she loved them, which I am so happy. So here is her before:

And after:

Book of Notes

2009-05-12T00:46:00.001-07:00

Oh, I had such a wonderful Mother's Day Weekend. On Saturday, I slept in until Mom woke me to tell me we needed to go to town in an hour. So I quickly got ready and we headed to the post office and then to see a matinee of 17 Again. Surprisingly, I really enjoyed it. Pretty funny. And that Zac Efron is pretty cute, never really liked him before, but he's a pretty good actor. Then we bummed around town killing time until we met up with the family for dinner at the Canton City Buffet. Pretty much the whole crew was there, and we had a private room to ourselves thanks to Annie's connections with the owner and we got a group rate. I put everyone's meals on my card (gotta earn those sky miles) and then everyone paid me back. Then we all went back to Grandma's house to play games. Probably one of my favorite times playing the name game. I laughed a lot. The next day, slept in again. Then gave mom her gift. I told her she had to go into her room to open it though and when she was done she could come out. Here is what I made her. A book of notes telling her how much I love her and what a wonderful mother she is.

Well, she came out crying and gave me a big hug and I totally teared up too. I'm so glad she liked it. I'm quite proud of it. I got the idea from the blog Oh Hello Friend and this post. She made a similar one for her boyfriend and I just loved the idea. Some of the pages are almost exactly alike, but it helped to get my creative juices flowing to do some of my own. I love all the pop-up elements, I was so excited to have those in there. I thought if I put in writing all the wonderful things I love about my mom and things I love to do with her she could refer back if she ever wonders how good of a mother she is. And she is one of the best. A real keeper. It was a lot of fun to do. Another craft to come next week but tomorrow I am off to Hawaii so no more posts until then.

Goals for the Weekend

2009-05-08T16:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, this gonna be really quick because I gotta get on the road.

1. Mother's Day weekend at home with Mom where I will give her, in my opinion, an extremely awesome mother's day present. I'll post pictures of it on Monday.
2. Finish another really awesome craft/gift. Are you irritated by the suspense I create?
3. Possibly Sunday night clean up my room. Craftiness is really messy.
4. Watch two of my netflix movies. I've been really bad with this so it has got to happen.

Okay. Have a wonderful weekend and Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there!

Busy Busy Busy

2009-05-05T09:23:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been pretty busy at work lately but today our software is on the fritz making my job hard to do. But that's why I totally skipped weekend goals so I'll just fill you in on what I would have said and what I did.

See Wolverine: X-Men Origins at a matinee: Check. My friend Sarah came with me and I was glad she did because there were two actors from our favorite Austrailian TV show and it was fun to be able to turn to each other at the same time and be like "Did you see who that was?" Okay but back to the star, Hugh Jackman. Hot Hot Hot. I really liked the movie, but I'm not overly critical of good action flicks.

Make Weight Goal for first challenge: One pound off. Oh well. I'll definitely have to try harder for the next challenge. Although do you remember how I'm still not overly motivated. But I'll keep trying. 12 pounds to lose for the next one. If I do that, then that would be awesome so wish me luck.

Begin craft projects to give away: Check. I wish I could say what they are but I want the recipients to be a surprise so I'll tell you later, but it will be a few weeks. I'm really excited for them and hope they turn out how I imagine them.

Attend an entire block of church: Check. I know, shocker right? I had already decided that I would stay for Sunday school so I went into the virtually empty room and took a seat on the back row. As the room filled with more people, this guy I met a few weeks ago and bonded with over the new Watchmen movie (that's all we really talked about) sat next to me after I said hi. We chatted about the new wolverine movie (see already in a rut, this friendship is going no where) and then looked up scriptures on our handy dandy Apple devices (he had an Itouch whereas I have an Iphone). But I did get onto his movie night email list. He holds a weekly movie night which is totally my scene. I was pretty sure I wouldn't make it through Relief Society and had pretty much decided to go when one of my visiting teachers came in to the room and knowing how I feel sat next to me, moaning a little herself about wanting to go home, and somehow got me to stay. I should have gone home, but I'm glad I made it through. Hopefully it will make the next time easier, of course next sunday I'll be at my mom's house so going to church will be very iffy.

Other unexpected happenings:
Carrie came over and brought pizza (could be the reason for being off one pound, but hey I needed to be there for my friend). We went for a walk after to JoAnn's for fabric and spent a lot more time there than we expected. Looking at patterns is really fun. Then a guy from our ward called her up to go bowling, so the three of us hit Fat Cats and had a really good time, then we just talked at my house for another hour or so.

Weekend Update

2009-04-27T10:45:00.000-07:00

So Lagoon Season Pass: Check

We had a lot of fun at Lagoon. There was eight of us in the group and we hit ride after ride in record time. Since it is still early and it was fairly chilly on Saturday there was relatively no waiting in lines for any ride. My head got a little dizzy after two rides on Wicked and then Colossus back to back to back. I'm excited to have a season pass and check out Laguna Beach. I've never been to that part of the park because I've never wanted to waste time in the pool. Summer O' Fun has begun.

Clean Room: half check

I picked it up quite a bit and there is a neat pile of stuff to be put away, but clothes are still strewn over my love sack and I need to do laundry again.

Exercise: half check

Lots of walking and sometime jogging at Lagoon helped. I need to do more though. I just might be hopeless. My new motivation plan isn't really motivating me. I'll keep trying.

Netflix Movies Watched: half check

I watched Little Foxes when I got home from Lagoon. I think I've seen it before. It seemed very familiar. Didn't get to the other two though. I think I enjoy Netflix for TV shows rather than movies most of the time.

Other things I did:

Had a bridal shower to go to on Friday night. It was a sexy themed party so I had to think of an interesting gift. I thought about just buying some lingerie but wasn't sure of the bride's size. She is uber skinny. So I went the creative route. "Items to enhance your sex life in each room of your home" I wish I had pictures but I rushed to put it all together and was extremely late to the shower but here's what it included. The Kitchen: Martini Glasses and Chocolate Syrup, The Bedroom: A toy cop hat and handcuffs, The Bathroom: Bath salts and shower gels with a sponge, The Livingroom: A feather duster, and The Backyard: a blanket. Each item had a little tag explaning what the item could be used for in a tasteful way. It was really fun putting it together and the bride loved it.

Went and saw New In Town at the dollar with the gals. It was alright. Your basic garden variety chick flick, which don't really do it for me as much anymore. Harry Connick, Jr. provided some nice eye candy though.

Had a blast doing my visiting teaching on Sunday night. I've told you about my wonderful partner Tiffanie. One of our girls couldn't be there so we just taught Caroline. We had so much fun trying to figure out the mystery of why dating is so hard and why amazing girls like ourselves aren't dating. Lot of guy bashing and laughing. Before we knew it almost two hours had gone by and I still needed to give the lesson.

Tamara made peanut butter cookies on Friday and more on Sunday. Though I told her I probably wouldn't eat any when she offered I found myself eating a few late in the evening, okay quite a few...okay several. I chalk it up to PMS.

Goals for the Weekend

2009-04-24T13:46:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know I don't do very well at letting you know if I achieve my goals. It's probably because I don't achieve them very well. And who wants to hear that. I did spend lots of time with my mom last weekend which is probably what took away from the other goals but it was worth it. We always have a good time together.

Anyway goals for this weekend:

CLEAN MY ROOM. It's absolutely ridiculous. The problem with it now is that it is just a lot of little things that are going to be a pain to pick up and put away. Also, I'm more and more about getting a new mattress so my pillowtop mattress will stay on level and not pull the fitted sheet off. I'm quite annoyed. Also, I really need to be able to sleep on my stomach.

Go to Lagoon and get my season pass. Again totally achievable. A group of friends and I are going tomorrow. I know it's supposed to rain but hey that could be fun and perhaps less crowded. I'm excited to have a season pass and use it a lot.

Seriously Exercise. I want to reach my weight loss goal early for the first challenge if I can and I backslided a little yesterday so it will take more effort.

Watch a couple of my netflix movies. I've kept them almost a week which is not sufficiently using my membership. I have a couple of Bette Davis movies that I just need to sit down and watch.

Okay, that's good.

Today in Blogdom: Wedding ideas

2009-04-23T10:29:00.000-07:00

I love reading wedding blogs. They are so fun. So here are some posts from earlier this week that I drooled over and one who isn't necessarily wedding oriented but can get great ideas for throwing fabulous parties.This lovely, simple cake was featured on Style Me Pretty today. It's a wonderful blog and website that highlights amazing real weddings and vendors to use. I just thought this cake was gorgeous. I'm really into silhouettes right now and also I think this cake is very doable. I go back and forth in my head whether or not I would make my own wedding cake some day or even have a cake at all. We'll see when the other steps fall into place like dating, falling love, engagement. Shouldn't take very long. (: Actually, a friend of mine said that she could see me getting married before her, maybe at the end of this year. To which I responded, puhuh!

This photo comes from Grey Likes Weddings. A relatively new wedding blog and I like it a lot because its still small and simple and I don't get too overloaded with wedding after wedding. I loved this idea of wrapping chocolate bars with pictures from the couple's life and wedding for favors. Anything to do with photos and I am there. There are several links on their post to the photographer and more pictures from the couple's wedding and even to tutorials on how to make these wrappers. Sometimes I'll peruse them but like I said it can get overwhelming. Just imagine if I was actually engaged.

How freaking cute are these?!! I love them and might have to try and recreate them someday. These adorable cupcakes were featured on one my favorite blogs, Hostess with the Mostess. Everyday she gives wonderful ideas on how to plan and decorate for any kind of party you could think of. She shows pictures of table decorations and favors and it has totally made me want to throw a fun dinner party that is decorated to the hilt with wonderful details. When the twilight dvd was released she decided to throw a small party for herself and some friends to come and watch and she came up with simple but creative way to decorate for it. Read about that here. When her husband asked why throw a party for this, her answer was "Why not?" I love that attitude. Anyway lots of her ideas could be translated into a wedding as a wedding is just a fancy party usually.

Drive-Through Pick Me Up

2009-04-19T18:40:00.001-07:00

Most trips through a fast food drive-through rarely if ever result in a little pick me up. There could most definitely be self-loathing and guilt and sometimes stomach pains. Or is that just me? I had the first two definitely as I was driving up to Burger King today. Actually worse, because it's Sunday so double feelings of guilt for breaking the Sabbath. But what follows is my conversation with the drive-through attendant that kind of perked up my day.

Attendant (male): What can I get for you? (kind of gruffly and I think, what no welcome to Burger King)
Me: I'll have a whopper with cheese combo... (I always get cut off here)
Attendant: What size? Small, medium or large?
Me: Medium and just ketchup, mustard and pickles only on that please.
Attendant: Only ketchup, mustard and pickles? (with what sounded at first like a hint of judgement in his voice) That sounds like a very delicious meal. (Now, all enthusiastic and humorous) What to drink?
Me: Diet Coke.
Attendant: Diet Coke? That just makes it even more delicious. What else?
Me: That's all.
Attendant: Okay pull forward. It's 6.45.

Me: I'm really not in the mood for this. (I say to myself audibly as I drive forward, but with a little smile)
Attendant: Okay, it's 6.45. You know you have excellent taste in food.
Me: Thanks.
Attendant: Well, obviously, you came to Burger King. I'm so over McDonalds. There were some people who came through earlier and asked for a Big Mac and I was like we don't serve that crap.
(I just smiled and laughed) No just kidding.

Food comes.

Attendant: Okay here you go.
Me: Thank You.
Attendant: Have a good night, beautiful.

Goals for the Weekend

2009-04-17T11:13:00.000-07:00

Spend time with my mom: This should be an easy one to achieve as she is coming out today and we'll definitely spend some time together. It feels like a long time since I've seen her so I'm excited. Also, I'll get to see my cute nephew that I haven't seen in a month or so. Probably not since the last time Mom came to town. I'm such a bad aunt.

Finish Crafting Binder: I printed out a lot of stuff, just need the sheet protectors. I'm excited to get started on some these things.

Pick up my room again: This will probably be on here every week as I can not keep my room clean. It's hard when you do your hair and makeup in there and you don't want to put it away every night just to get it out again in the morning. Plus I had to move my printer and so I could work on the craft binder and watch tv at the same time.

Finish Steaming my clothes: So that I can wear them sometime next week.

Exercise sometime, any way, just do it for half an hour.

Stake Conference: Oh I'm not really banking on this one. I can't remember the last stake conference I went to. Probably freshman or sophomore year in college. I really should go though, maybe if Carrie talks me into it. Geez my religious footing is in a slow decline, don't tell my boss. I'll get back there, I just have ups and downs.

Tess Cupcakes

2009-04-16T15:18:00.000-07:00

So last night my bookclub met to discuss Tess of the D'Ubervilles. I've been wanting to make a cake or cupcakes that represent books that we had read for some time but just never did and so this time I thought ahead enough to actually do it.

Now if you haven't read Tess, it's sad story about a girl whose father is told that his family are decendants from an old family long since gone, the D'Ubervilles. This one event puts our heroine into unfriendly waters where she loses her innocence and her life is forever changed mostly for the worse.

These mushroom looking things in the back represent the forest where Tess was raped? still not sure if you would call it rape but definitely overpowered and taken advantage of. They were originally supposed to be trees but wouldn't really stand up and even standing they still looked liked mushrooms which I'm okay with because there are mushrooms in the forest.

The crosses. Well, Tess ends up pregnant from her unfortunate encounter, but the baby doesn't live long and dies unbabtized. She named him sorrow and buries him herself just outside the walls of the church cemetary. My friend Tonya came over to help me make these, which I'm so glad for. Saved me so much time. She iced the cupcakes and then put the coconut grass on them. We just started cracking up as I was making and placing the toppers. The cross was seriously the funniest. My writing isn't very good as you can see so I just said to Tonya, I'll just say that I'm just trying to make it look like it would have looked since Tess would have carved in the wood with a knife. That just got us going.

After Tess buries her child she finds working at a Dairy Farm, hence the cows. These are the best and Tonya's favorite. I just used frosted animal crackers and then rolled out tootsie rolls to make the spots. Everything was made from animal crackers, tootsie rolls and marshmallows. These also represent the happy time in the book for Tess, brief though it is.

These are supposed to be books, but I most people think gravestone at first, but they are books people.

Tonya and I had a lot of fun making them. I think making cupcakes, which are normally an uplifting food topped with representations of depressing events is just so hilarious. I wasn't planning on it being that way and they didn't come out as I pictured in my mind but I still love them.

On a side note on my way to get my hair done last night I passed by four geese trying to cross the street against the light on Van Winkle, which is a very busy street. It was kind of funny but I hope they made it okay. I'll post pics of my new hair soon. Nothing drastic, just more defined bangs and some highlights.

Weekend Goals: Slightly Achieved

2009-04-15T15:09:00.000-07:00

So I know it's halfway through another week, but it's never too late to keep you updated. I know I haven't written much of my favorite blog posts, but there haven't really been any that have wowed me. So anyway...

Well, I completed the first three goals only slightly. I cleaned my room, but didn't make the bed or vacuum. I did laundry but didn't finished steaming everything that needed it, but they are all put away. And I began my craft binder. I bought these really cute binders on sale at Walmart but I forgot the sheet protectors so I just started printing stuff out. As I'm going I might need a third binder. The exercising didn't happen unless you count cleaning and then that was only Saturday so oh well. Which actually is kind of bad since I am in my first friend goal.

I have to lose five pounds by May 1 in order to have Loralee go shopping with me for fabric to make a skirt to go with a shirt that I have. Otherwise I am on my own. I'm really not off to a good start, but I'll kick it in gear here soon. So on Saturday I did my initial weigh-in and measured my body to see how things change if I stick with this new program. I have a goal lined up already for after this one so wish me luck.

Oh and tune in tomorrow for some pics of cupcakes I made for my bookclub.

Goals for the Weekend

2009-04-09T16:44:00.000-07:00

You know how Julie has quarterly goals because that's all she thinks she handle at a time. Well after further reflection I've decided that all I can handle are goals for the weekend. I need to set them too because lately my weekends consist of me rising out of bed between noon and 1:00 pm on Saturday and then planting myself on the couch for the rest of the day, with occasional excursion for food. The last two Sundays have been very similar. But no more, I tell you. So for my goals this weekend:

- Clean bedroom and bathroom
- Do laundry (in completion meaning iron, steam, fold and put away)
- Create crafts binder
- Exercise every day

I have all of these starred items in my blog reader and bookmarks in my Delicious account for so many wonderful craft tutorials online but I'm overwhelmed when I look at them. I need them to be a bit more organized and at hand. So when I'm feeling crafty, I can just go to the binder and flip to a certain category and there you go. I'm already really excited for my first little crafts, but I can't tell you what they are right now because they are gifts and I want them to be a surprise.

Today in Blogdom: Lovely Bridal Shoot

2009-04-07T16:10:00.000-07:00

After reading lots of blogs today, nothing was coming up that wowed me or inspired me to post about until towards the end of the day. This gorgeous bridal shoot by Anna Page Photography featured on Grey Likes Weddings, a new wedding blog I've added to my reader. The pics are so lovely, it makes me want to try to convince Loralee to let me do a photo shoot of her in her wedding dress even though she was married last August. Better do it soon before she gets pregnant. And And this could be weight loss goal. What do you say, Loralee? Check out more pics by clicking on this post's title.

Today's Blogdom Favorite: Can't choose just one

2009-04-06T15:22:00.000-07:00

Wow lots, of blogging going on today so I had to choose a couple or maybe three to share.

First, I read a few wedding blogs. I like to see all the different ideas that people think of and inspire me for maybe one day that will come for me. So this comes from Once Wed Blog about a daffodil brunch. Check it out here. I've really come to love daffodils and if I could have a setting like this for my wedding that would be fabulous. It just looks so simple and sweet.

Next, I started reading Unclutterer a year or so ago because I thought some of their decluttering ideas were really creative, I've started to be a little bored with their articles but I like this idea and if I could incorporate this into a future house I would love it. Under Stair Storage.

Finally, I love this blog. It's called Oh Happy Day. Jordan, who writes it, is so creative and amazing. I've actually met her once, when she was engaged to her now husband and he was in our ward and I went to a birthday party that I believe she threw for him. Anyway today she talks about a birthday she threw for a friend of hers that is just awesome. If anyone wants to throw me a party that has a treasure hunt that takes everyone all over town, I would be all over it. Check it out here.

Photos taken from each blog's site.

Update on things

2009-04-03T12:58:00.000-07:00

So I said I would give you an update on my first month of budgeting and how it went using Mint.com. Though I went over on several items, it was a first try, it really did make me stop and think about where I'm spending my money and if that's what I really want to do. The last week of the month is always hard for me in any thing I do because I'm so gung-ho in the beginning, that I've worn myself out by the end. So that's primarily where I got into trouble with going over. But I only went $76 over my estimated budget for the month and still able to put into savings $250 this month.

Things I went over on, you wonder? Food, mostly. Numerous trips to convenience stores, you know for the daily accounting department walk. I have made a separate budget for covenience store stuff for this month to curb that a little bit. I will still take the walk just maybe not get anything, but the diet coke calls to me. Also, I'm not a big fan of fountain drinks in general, but at the Maverick that we go to if you reuse your original cup then it's less than a dollar. So I do that now instead of getting a bottle. I have two sizes of cups, medium for when I'm doing okay and just need a little caffeine and a large for especially hard days. We actually haven't gone at all this week which is weird but we've all been busy and caught up in our work which is a good thing, I guess. I went over a little on shopping. I needed those fresh flowers from Costco, okay and they really perked me up.

This month will be much better because I have a little room because of how I'm using my paychecks this month, since the scheduling is working out for me to make payments on my bills, it's a little complicated but I should be able to hit my $400 goal with no problem, unless I go crazy or something.

Other things happening. Mel and I have stuck to our scheduled workout three weeks in a row now, mainly because of me. Surprise isn't it? To me too. This will be my second week of working out with Loralee, our day is Saturday, normally at 10:00 (goodbye-sleeping in). Not sure what we're gonna do this week. Working out with Mel has been fun because after we've done this dance video we hang out and watch Grey's Anatomy or play around together. We've been spending lots of time together and it has been so great.

I have finally caught up on all my blog posts. There was a lot. And to make my blog here a little more interesting and all about me and to help me post a little more regularly, I'm going to try to post my favorite thing I read about each day so you guys can enjoy all the wonderful things I find throughout the internet.

Also, I've decided that my unofficial sabbatical from crafts and cakes needs to come to an end. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. So I'm gonna make myself spend some time this weekend to scour over all the bookmarked pages of crafts on the internet that I have and decide on some things to make and who they might be for. That's right I want to make crafts and cakes with a purpose and I'm going to keep them a surprise. Along with this idea I want to start giving "just because" gifts more. I used to do it from time to time but it's been a while and I always love giving them. It's a totally selfish reason too. Sure I like to make the giftee feel good but that is second to believing that they think I am the most wonderful friend ever because I am so thoughtful. Does that detract from the idea for you? I have never been service oriented or anything like that until I felt this feeling once when I did something just because and that has been the motivater ever since. I'll keep you updated on this little project as well, with photos and everything. I'm excited. I hope I follow through with it.

Grateful for an Eventful Thursday Night

2009-03-27T07:18:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week Melanie called me and need to reschedule our weekly tennis game/exercise day from Thursday to Friday because there was something else she wanted to do. What could that be you wonder to give up tennis, even though it's been hella cold (that's right I said it) this week? A college rodeo tournament down in Heber City. Of course, I was invited even though rodeo's aren't normally my thing but I had a bought a cowboy hat (a very very cheap one) on another excursion with Melanie and Sarah B. and where else was I gonna sport that sucker. So I decided to go even though I didn't know that I would be dog tired at the end of my work day on Thursday.

Yesterday after work, geez I was tired. Falling asleep at my desk tired. But I would push through. I didn't need another night of sitting at home watching the television, I wanted it but I need to get out more. I'm seriously an old woman at 26! So I called Mel to find out the time and carpooling plans. She then told me that after the rodeo we would be going to a bar called Harry O's to watch this band play that her roommate Sarah D. knows a guy in. Oh lord, could I do it? Yes! Went home and redid my hair so that it looked fabulous with my hat on, all the while sucking down a monstrous glass of highly caffeineted Diet Coke. Made it to Mel's and she was looking for more information about the rodeo like the address and time. We found out that it started at 7:00 which it almost was and so we were going to be late. So talk of scrapping the rodeo and just going to the bar later occurred (I was pretty hopeful) but no we were just gonna be late to the rodeo.

We picked up Sarah B. and her roommate Amber and we chatted and sang along to a great mix. Once we got to Heber we had some trouble finding where the rodeo was but once we found it we found our seats and took in all the splendor. The smell of horses and cattle and variety of stetson wearing folk. We got to see roping, barrel racing, and bucking broncos and bulls. Not to mention some mighty fine (though young) cowboys. Some cowboys can be really sexy, don't you agree? Hm Hm Hm.

At the end we had to brave the dropped temperature and very brisque wind to get to our car. We could barely stand it so we ran until we were warm inside the car. Some of us were hungry so we stopped at the Dairy Keen for some food. I haven't eaten inside there for quite a while. They are mostly known for their amazing shakes but I resisted and just got a cheeseburger and fries. Plus a much needed diet coke for refueling. As more exciting events were yet to come.

Again more loud singing as we drove to Park City. As Sarah D. was approaching the exit we saw three police cars with lights on parked towards the end of the offramp. Then when Sarah put on her brake on the offramp we began to slide and made a 180 degree turn. We began shrieking especially us three girls in the back were not seatbelted. Amber who was in the middle, being brave, braced Sarah B. and I while I held on to her. It seemed we were surely going to slide back into one of the parked police cars but suddenly the car stopped near the side of the road. As we were turning we noticed a policeman running towards his car. We were stopped, but before we could heave a sigh of relief we were worried about cars coming onto the offramp that may slide as well and into us, but luckily they passed by. So after pulling ourselves together and getting us all seatbelted we were back on our way.

We decided to try to find parking on Main Street, even though it's usually a hard thing to do but we figured on a Thursday night we would be alright, which we were, only half a block away from Harry O's. The place was pretty dead when we got there and the band we were there to see was already playing. They were called All American Hitmen and is made up of former marines. The lead guitarist who Sarah D. wanted to see was pretty cute and a really amazing guitar player. They played mostly covers which were fun and good but when they played their original stuff it wasn't very good. As time passed more people made their way into the bar and it was interesting to watch all these people interact with each other.

When the band was finished around 11:30 we headed out of there and back to the car. On the way Melanie decided to start a small snowball fight with Sarah B. Poor Sarah, she didn't have a coat and got nailed so ran for the car. Then for the capper of the evening...

For a little background, anytime we are with Sarah B. we have to yell out to pedestrians, usually men, as we drive by. What do we yell? "He..ey!" I'll have to do it for you somtime if you don't get it. It's pretty funny to see what reactions we'll get. Sarah B. has a couple of megaphones in her car that we use to emphasize it. But we were in Sarah D.'s car so we had to rely on our own voices and as we drove down Main we yelled at whoever we saw and giggled our way out of Park City. Quite a fun night and all home by midnight. Not bad.

What Motivates Me?

2009-03-26T15:40:00.000-07:00

This has been a burning question of mine for several years. It usually coincides with how to reward myself when I reach specific goals like losing weight. My friend Melanie is really pressuring me to figure this out so that I will be more motivated. I decided that sticker charts definitely don't matter and even something I want to buy won't work. I have never been one to deprive myself, hence why I need to lose weight. But even in non-food areas, if I want something I'll buy it. Even if it starts out as a reward whether I hit my goal or not I'll still buy it for the plan and simple reason that I want it and it's my money to spend how I choose. So it was quite a conundrum for Melanie to figure out.

The next step was to figure out something that I would really like to have but I couldn't just go out and buy. They turned out to be things that other people had to provide for me. For instance, Loralee gave her a sister Melanie a home-made giftcard for her services as wardrobe guru. I happened to stop by one day while they were in the midst of the first phase which was going through Melanie's closet and seeing what she should keep and what she should get rid of. The next phase was to create outfits out of her existing clothes and together we did a pretty good job. Melanie was really styling when the day was through. The next phase is to go shopping to fill in any holes for staples she might need. It was so awesome, I totally wanted it. But I can't just go out and buy that, well I could but not for very cheap. Or design advice from Loralee. Or a photoshoot of my friends to practice posing and photoshop stuff. So it's up to you people to motivate me. At least at first. If I happen to say something I want from you and I really it want then hold it over my head until I lose a certain amount of weight. Let's get this going. Any ideas from you? I already know one my aunt "booklogged" could do. I would love to learn how to make the hat you made me for Christmas. So think of the reward and the appropriate goal to go with that and I'll create a list. Thanks in advance. One more thing to try.

Grateful for my faithful readers

2009-03-23T16:07:00.000-07:00

So enough is enough and I need to quit my unofficial break from blogging. I think blogging has become hard because I feel like my regular readers are those I talk to on the phone and tell everything to and so writing it would be redundant for them. Sure I know blogging isn't supposed to be for the readers but sometimes I feel that way. The grateful thing has kind of passed. It's really hard to think of things that would be interesting to write about. But I'm gonna try but not limit myself to just grateful posts. So I'll fill you in on some developments to better my life.

A month or so ago I was talking to Julie about saving for a trip to France and she mentioned that she was gonna try to pay off her surgery by the end of the year. That is quite a hefty amount so I was mind boggled that she would be able to do that and she must be making tons more than me. Julie has never wanted to tell me what she makes but she told me so I could figure it out. She actually makes slightly less than me. (I hope I'm not giving away too much information, Julie.) I do have slightly larger expenses than her. I pay more for my car payment, student loans, tithing. I have internet and netflix, but she pays almost double my rent for her mortgage. So can she save that much money. She does have roommate income, but I'm offsetting that against her actual mortgage payment. She mentioned that shop more and eat out more than she does. Which is true.

So I decided to change my ways and really pay close attention to how I spend my money. I found this great website called Mint.com where you can input all your financial account information so it can update when you pay something, lets you know when a payment is due and file your spending into various categories. I can also fix something if it gets filed wrong but mostly it learns where things go really fast so I almost never have to do anything. Also, you setup a budget each month for each category that you want. I set up mine so that I would be able to save $200 this month for savings if I stay within budget. One of my favorite elements is the Trends Tab. It gives a colorful pie chart of your spending so you can see what the percentage of your spending goes to and then you can click on one of those areas and it will break it down even further if you have it set up that way and to the side shows where you spent the money like Walmart or whatever and how much went to that store over how many visits. It's so awesome.

The month is almost over and I have gone over on a few things slightly, but it's my first month and I'm not beating myself up about it. I just won't be able to save as much which is the kick in the pants I need. The goal is to get up to saving $400 a month, which should be doable. I absolutely love that website and check it religiously everyday and have an APP on my phone for it as well. It hasn't kept me perfectly in line but it does make me consider if I really want to spend that money on that and not get to spend it on other things later. I'm also hoping, because I drastically reduced my fast food spending from what I normally spend that it will help me lose weight. I've learned though that the groceries I buy need to be somewhat healthy too if I really want that to happen. I'll give an update next week of how I did and other things I'm gonna be struggling with that I want to buy and how I'm going to fit that into my budget.

Anyway that's one thing to improve my life, I'll tell you about another thing sometime this week.

Grateful for wonderfully timed eye-openers

2009-03-04T10:00:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a lot about old friends that I used to be super close to but now only talk to every now and then. Trying to figure out how it happens, that friendships fade. I'd been getting pretty depressed about all the friends that have gone from my life that I didn't want to let go. I'm super happy with the people in my life now, but what if they go away some day too. Anyway, today a good friend sent me an email, well a forward that I'm sure I've seen before but it was perfect timing for me to read it again. This is what it said:

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to
have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to
use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life. . . . . . .

. . .. . . . . Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

P.S. Let me know if the yellow is readable.

Interesting Night at the Dollar Theatre

2009-03-01T00:45:00.000-08:00

So tonight since most of my friends were busy it seemed I decided to go to a movie alone. I had been at home all day and needed to get out. Also, my roommate Tam came home with her practically live-in boyfriend and she was going to teach him guitar lessons and I wasn't about to stick around for that. I decided to go see Coraline in 3D in west valley. First off there were stupid drivers everywhere so my road rage was well...a rage'n. I was running late too which adds to it. Anyway got to the theatre and found a good seat and the previews had started. I liked my seat but unfortunately it was near this guy who laughed at everything and very loudly (he might have been a little "special"). Well, I couldn't take it so I moved. Still could hear him though but the movie is pretty dark so there wasn't much laughing once we got into the movie. I liked it but not as much as I thought I would.

Well, it was still kind of early and I didn't want to go home yet so I looked up on handy dandy phone what else was playing. Nothing really, so I decided on Twilight at the dollar since I didn't really want to fork another 8+ dollars for something I'd already seen. There was a 10:20 showing but it was only 9:30. Well, I drove around for a bit, picked up some food and ate it in the parking lot until it seemed close enough to go in. I had a book with me so I figured I'd just take a seat and read until the movie started. It was a good plan, just didn't happen. There was a small line for the tickets and then line after line for each movie to go in. Mine was last. The theatre was short staffed I guess and so cleaning each theatre was taking longer than usual. So when we finally got to go in it was already past the time for the show to start.

I sat in the back row second seat in. There were two people in front of me but one seat over and then this middle aged asian guy comes and sits on the end seat in the row in front of me so I had a perfect view of the screen and could crouch in my seat. The previews started and this guy kept looking back and up at where the projector screen and looking at me but I don't make eye contact I just keep my eyes on the screen until he speaks.

"Do you think it's too loud?" I shake my head no, thinking we're in a movie theatre it's supposed to be loud. Ironically, when the next preview starts the sound is a lot quieter and then goes very quiet so you can barely tell what the people are saying. The longer this lasts the more people go out one by one to tell an employee. And I'm thinking how I'm not having very good luck at dollar movies these days as last week I went to see Australia at a dollar theatre in west valley and they accidentally started playing The Tale of Despereaux. At least they fixed that quickly. Not the same for Twilight. The movie came on and kept playing with really low sound. The asian guy kept looking up at the projector and at me. He looked at me a lot, at least to the point that I was bugged. Someone came in and announced they were working on it and I overheard someone say they had asked if the movie would be rewound but were told it wouldn't be. About five or ten more minutes in the lights come on. I start reading my book and the asian guy still keeps looking back at me every now and then.

Finally a manager comes in and announces they are still working on it but probably won't be done anytime soon so our options are to get a refund, a rain check or go see the 11:30 showing in the theatre down the hall. I opted for the last one and headed to get a good seat. I stuck to the back. It was a much bigger theatre than the last one and much colder. It's ten minutes to eleven so I pull out my book but decide to text Julie and Aly while I'm waiting. Aly didn't answer right away but Julie did even though she was in bed reading and ready to go to sleep. So we texted a bit and I read in between texts and then as Julie dropped off Aly started texting me until about 11:25.

Next thing I know I hear, "What book are you reading?" I look over and it's the asian guy! He's sitting across the aisle from me.
"Confessions of a Shopaholic," I say.
Smiling, "Are you a shopaholic?" Seriously I am so bugged right now. Why is this guy talking to me. I'm not even looking at him because I'm pretending to be texting until Aly responds.
"No, it's just a silly book."
"Oh, it's a movie too, isn't it?"
"Yep." Still not looking. Evading eye contact.
"Is that the 3G?"
"Yep."
"Is the service expensive?"
"I pay $70."
"Oh that's not bad. Is that T-Mobile?"
"No, it's AT&T. I have the cheapest plan."
"Is that unlimited?"
"It's only 400 minutes."
"But the phone costs a lot?" I just nod. "$400?"
"Yep." Then the lights go down and the movie starts. Thank goodness. I think he was still looking at me for a little bit but I'm not sure. As soon as the end credits started rolling I grabbed my stuff and headed out. At first glance as I was getting out of my seat it looked like the guy had fallen asleep and then as I headed toward the door I glanced back and still in his seat he was looking at me as I was leaving. Slight eye contact. Creepy! I picked up my walking pace and didn't look back until I got to my car. Fun night at the movies.

Grateful for a Good Relationship with our IT Guy

2009-02-26T22:15:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I think that my cubicle at work is in the best spot. I'm next to a good guy to chat with and on the other side is our IT guy, Ron. Ron is great and a genius when it comes to computers and our accounting software that we use. Sitting next to him, I see how others treat him and I do not envy his position. Not that anyone is mean to him, but it's usually and "I need this and I need it now" kind of thing. I think he gets really stressed out sometimes. Well, I have learned the best way to get Ron to do things for me quickly. I let him know my problem but I usually say when you can get to it and he then does it right then and there, if he can. It's great and I'm always very grateful to him which I know he appreciates. Others have seen his quick response to me and try to get me to help them because they are unsuccessful. Ron likes to joke with people that he'll put their problem on the list and will probably get to them in a month or so or whatever. He's totally joking but most everyone is not in the mood for that kind of joke. Like I said they want to hear that it will be done now. Well, he doesn't respond well to that. So now these two guys I work with usually call me when they have an IT problem if they feel Ron is being unresponsive and I usually help them out and ask Ron for them and he does it. It's really great to have such an important person in my corner. Very powerful. I'll try to use the power for good though.

Grateful for Midday Soda Runs

2009-02-26T21:50:00.000-08:00

I'm Back! I almost posted a really negative and depressing post the other day but I thought better of it so you're welcome. Back to focusing on the good in life.

So I admit it I need caffeine to get through most days and as the weekend approaches I need it more and more as work is weighing on me. There is no vending machine in my building. There is a cafeteria but as it is owned by the church it is strictly caffeine free. There is however two options for my caffeine fix. One I have been utilizing since my first days at work and one that was just introduced to me this last month by a newbie.

For the first: we work with a company on the fourth floor (we are on the sixth). They have a very large and fully stocked break room (ours is a closet in comparison). The canned sodas were 35 cents a can and bottled water was 20 cents. A steal! I know. They have the best variety so everyone is happy. The price has since gone up to 50 cents a can, not sure about the water, but still far cheaper than a vending machine and the money goes towards their sub-for-santa every year. So they don't mind that we come and contribute for soda. Did I mention that they also have a variety of candy (though I know where their free stock is that they use for meetings) but I don't partake of that stuff anymore. My new cubicle neighbor loves his caffeine as well and I was super excited to show him my treasure. The only downside is that he shared it with the other three new guys and they like to go down together. Chris would usually just pick one up for me if I gave him money and vice versa but the guys use it as a small walking break. They sometimes forget to include me so I have voiced my complaint and Chris tries to remember me. Most times I'll hear the guys talking about going and I wait for my invitation and if it doesn't come I just invite myself along. I think it's kind of funny that a pack of us hit the fourth floor for soda. It must look really funny to the people that work there.

The second option: Chris and other new guy Mikko (he's Finnish) like to go to Maverick down the street when they don't have change for the fourth floor and fill up their refillable cups. I would never have thought of walking all they way there but its really nice, but I probably would not make the walk by myself. We kind of pass by unsavory characters. My first venture out with them we pass by a bus stop crowded with people and a fight broke out and the guys were bumping into people all over and even knocked down this old man that works as a missionary with us who is extremely frail. He was okay but kind of scary.

These soda runs have really helped me bond with these new guys which I really need because I can't seem to give up my lunch hour to eat with them instead of scouring the internet or watching shows online. Chris and I talk a lot during the day. I really like working with him. He lets me whine to him and he vents to me about all our frustrations. That's usually what we do on our walking breaks/soda runs. We bitch about work and our boss. So it's somewhat therapeutic, physically active and we get our much needed caffeine.

Grateful for Cousins Weekend

2009-02-17T11:15:00.000-08:00

I look forward to this event every time we start to plan it. I don't know if we ever thought that we would do cousins weekend as often as we do, which is every couple of months, but I do not complain. I could do it every weekend. Okay, maybe not every weekend. Every other weekend!

It's always been made up of Aly, me and Julie but sometimes we have Katie and/or Kristi join in too which has been fun and spices things up a bit. I think most people would think our get togethers are really uneventful and they can be, but we like it that way. We are there to spend time together in the most lazy way possible. This last weekend, we stayed at Aly's house (this has become the norm) and we sat and talked, cooked our own meals and did a little grocery and jewelry shopping and watched movies. So relaxing and I definitely needed to get away from the drama in my house but it kind of followed me because I couldn't make my head stop thinking about it. Aly and Julie were so good to listen to my troubles and then distract me. I'm so grateful that we trust each other so much and we can reveal things to each other that we can't tell others. It's so comforting. I love this little tradition we've started and I hope it never ends.

Grateful for my cell phone...

2009-02-09T22:30:00.000-08:00

Especially when it works which it decided to be difficult today. Wow, it's almost been a week since I posted. I don't know why but I kept forgetting to do my post also, it's been kind of hard to think of things. I sat here for five minutes trying to think of things. I can think of things but nothing that I feel like posting about. Then I got a little negative and started looking around and think about things that I wish I could be grateful for. Mainly that my phone service keeps crapping out so I can't send text messages so sorry Julie. I tried several times to text you back. I would be grateful to have reliable service all the time. It's not very often but it is still pretty annoying.

I would be grateful to have a clean room right now or the energy/motivation to clean my room.
I would be grateful if it was the weekend already.
I would be grateful if I could find a movie that is missing and I'm not sure if I lent it out or not.
I would be grateful if I didn't fear confrontation and didn't care what my roommate is gonna do when I put a tv out in the living room.

I am grateful that my other roommate is with me. It's nice to have someone like me in the house. I think this whole tv thing has created a bond so that's nice since I wasn't really looking to create a friendship and she really wasn't either. It's too bad that it seems like we bonded together against Tamara but hopefully she'll come around and we'll all get along better and hang out more together.

Sorry this was a little bit of a downer which isn't the point of these posts. I'll try to be more positive tomorrow.

Grateful for an Amazing Mother

2009-02-04T22:01:00.000-08:00

It's my mom's birthday today. Though I am more grateful for her everyday than I can really express, I figured today would be a good day to try. First off, she is so strong. I can't even imagine how hard it must have been to raise two little kids on alone (with wonderful help from friends and family) and accomplish all that she has. She put herself through school to get a better job and be able to support us. Honestly, I can't really say that I wanted for anything. She did everything thing she could, I think, to make us feel the best that we could. We got to go school clothes shopping every year and get nice stuff, we went on vacations and so many other things. I know my brother and I took a lot of it for granted but we always knew how good she was to us and still is.

She taught us good principles and morals but never too strict. I've always been so grateful at the trust she put in us because I never wanted to ruin that. I'm still amazed when I think of the freedom we had. Sure there were rules, but nothing out of the ordinary and if we made mistakes there were consequences but we were pretty good kids on the whole. Other than the constant fighting. I don't know how she handled that day in and day out with me and my brother but I always felt comforted when she got home.

In my adult life I've definitely strayed from the beliefs I was taught but she was always there to talk to and reassure me. I never felt judged or disappointed in. When my brother and I have needed her she has always been there to help us out whether financially or emotionally. She is one of my bestest friends. I love her so much. Still in my late twenties she takes care of me and I feel safe like when I was little. I love our talks and when we laugh together, that is seriously the best thing. I love that we hold hands and cuddle (somewhat especially because it drives my brother nuts) I can't even imagine what it could be like to not have her around, a phone call away. It's a nightmare I have often.

I've barely even touched on all the things I am grateful for, but mostly I'm just grateful that she is in my life. That she was chosen to be my mother. I thank God all the time for that. She is my rock. Love you Mom. Happy Birthday!

Grateful for a friend's welcome

2009-02-02T22:55:00.000-08:00

I've been going over to Melanie's house a lot lately, mostly to get away from mine. We just hang out and talk and watch t.v. together. It's been really nice. I think our friendship is becoming a lot closer because of it so one good things is coming out of my living situation. Also, she gave me some really good advice tonight which hopefully I can gather up the courage to put to good use that could maybe make my life here at home more bearable. We'll see. Mainly just forcing the issue for either my new roommate Jen or I to put one of our t.v.s out in the living room. My other roommate Tam does not want that at all and we haven't had one in the four years I have lived here but I think the tables have turned and now there are two t.v. watchers living here so she may just have to deal with it.

Anyway thanks Mel for letting me come over and listening.

Grateful for a little success

2009-02-01T19:08:00.000-08:00

So one month has gone by and let's see how I did on my resolutions. Well this last week everything seemed to go to crap. I was forgetting to pray, read my scriptures and skipped out on the last two hours of church last week. Also, I missed a few days here and there of my everyday grateful posts. I'm a little bummed about not sticking with the praying and scripture reading but I'm gonna give it another go this month. I think working a month at a time is a good way to go. As for the grateful posts I'm trying to keep up with it but some days it's hard of think of things, not that there aren't a ton of things to be grateful for but it my day was kind of bland I don't realize what those things are. Also, I'm a little forgetful. Loralee once told me that it takes 21 days to create a habit. I haven't yet found that to be true. Either I haven't stuck with something for 21 days which is quite possible or I am extremely resistant to good habits.

But on to my one success and it's a good one. I hit my goal of losing ten pounds this month! I was so worried when I weighed myself yesterday morning and then this morning which was the one that counted, because I hadn't been eating very great, still smaller portions but with what seemed to me to be some pretty major slip-ups. But I was still going down. Oh my heck I was so happy. Now I just have to do it again this month and I'm going to try incorporate more exercise by renting those fun dance exercise videos from netflix. Hopefully, if I mix it up then I won't get bored. If I keep going at this rate then I will be at my highschool weight by July.

Grateful for receiving cards in the mail

2009-01-29T20:13:00.000-08:00

I got a thank you card from my friend Kaysie yesterday. I had sent her Christmas present along with a thank you card for the present she gave me to her in the mail as she stayed in her town for Christmas. I had worried that she hadn't gotten it since I hadn't heard anything from her until I got the card. I loved it. I've always wished that letter writing was still big. Getting mail other than bills and statements and ads is so much fun. Kaysie is always so good about sending Christmas cards too so I enjoy when Christmas comes and I get some fun mail.

I also did thank you cards for the first time this year and I mailed the ones to those who don't live near me. My three friends here in town have always given me thank you cards for Christmas presents and birthday presents I give them. I love it so I thought I would return the favor and it's been really nice. And for those getting them in the mail it was fun knowing they would be receiving them soon and it would be a nice little surprise for them. Then I really enjoyed hearing how much they liked getting the cards. See? Isn't real mail so fun? Anyone want to be my pen pal?

Grateful for Amazon.com

2009-01-28T22:29:00.000-08:00

The book we are reading for February in my book club is the Great Gatsby. Though I have been utilizing my local library lately I decided this might be one to add to my personal library. I checked online to see how much it would be and it was less than $10. Not bad, but I thought even Barnes and Noble is slightly more I'll just buy it there so I have it. It was $14 for a less than two hundred page paperback. In hardback it was over $20. I was shocked so I bought the book on Amazon.com. I've bought many a book there. I love it. There are so many options and I've only had a problem once with a seller. Online shopping in general is such a great thing. I would much rather just order something than go to the store. Today my book arrived and it is in great condition. I'm excited to read it, just after I finish Tess of the D'ubervilles, which coincidentally will be our March book so I'm sort of already ahead. I've got to finish it in two days (will be a challenge) in order to maintain my goal of three books a month. Only a little over two hundred pages to go at my rate of speed of five pages a day might be tough. So may have to turn the t.v. off for a little while the next few days.

Grateful the Academy Awards nominations

2009-01-27T20:50:00.000-08:00

I love watching the Academy Awards, almost all of the awards shows, but not as much as the Oscars. I try to watch it every year. Normally, I've seen most or all of the nominated movies in Best Picture but lately they are getting more and more obscure. When the nominations were announced I hadn't seen any of the Best Picture nominees. So I went to Benjamin Button (not necessarily because it was a nominee, I had just heard good things about it). Tonight after institute, my friend invited me to go see Slumdog Millionaire with her. The same friend who I went to the movie with after institute the last time. I'm not sure if this is going to become a habit, but I could get used to it. It is only playing at the Broadway Theatre, the indie theatre. I have only seen one other movie there so I was excited to go there again.

Oh my gosh it was a bloody great movie!! Sad, suspenseful, romantic and very dramatic. Seriously if you can you should see it because it was wonderful. It's rated R for some reason but I've definitely seen worse in PG-13. I could totally see it winning for Best Picture. So now I have three to go. I probably won't see The Reader because I heard it was pretty boring but I've heard pretty good things about Milk and Frost/Nixon. So isn't The Academy so cool for showcasing these movies that I might not have seen? I'm trying to see more indie and obscure movie but I'm always drawn to the blockbusters and they are usually the ones that most of my friends will go to with me. But I think I will make it my goal this year to see a movie at the Broadway every month. I just barely squeezed in January.

By the way are you watching Masterpiece Theatre on PBS? You should be. They are showing some good things this spring. A repeat of last year's Sense and Sensibility is next, which was good if you didn't catch it, but you can watch a really good version of Wuthering Heights online until Feb. 9.

Grateful for pain medication

2009-01-25T22:52:00.000-08:00

Sorry, not much else I can think of tonight. It's been a pretty hard week all around and it's that time of the month and I'm so happy for a little pill called Advil to relieve my pain, mild though it may be. I'm also very grateful that it is mild, whereas some of my friends seem to get crippling pain during their cycle. Mine is getting worse it seems as I get older. Hopefully not too much worse. So that's pretty much it for today.

Grateful for a good movie and good talks

2009-01-24T22:18:00.000-08:00

I went to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button today by myself. It was a rainy day and since everyone else I know has seen it I figured I better go. I went to a matinee thinking it wouldn't be too crowded, luckily I came somewhat early because the theatre was almost full by the time the movie started. Kind of irritating. Anyway the movie was really good. I really liked it and totally cried at the end. I almost always love movies that make me cry. I don't know why because most often it throws me into a depressive state because I equate crying with being sad and it reminds me of why I'm sad and that I should be crying for things in my life. But I still love a good emotionally jarring movie.

I had been trying to get in touch with Julie all day to have a chat but she or I were always in situations where we couldn't talk and promised to call later. So after the movie such an occurence happened so I began to watch t.v. Then Melanie called because she needed to vent about something frustrating her. So I listened and we had a good talk and I decided we needed to go somewhere instead of talking over the phone so I picked her up and we took a drive in the avenues and up behind the capital building and talked. It was really fun. She did a lot of the talking which was fine though there were some things I wanted to get off my chest but the timing never was right. Anyway as I was about to drop Melanie off Julie called so I told her I would call her back after I dropped Mel off. Then Julie and I had a really great talk. I told her about my week and the last couple of nights how I just haven't wanted to be at home. In fact, probably thirty minutes of our conversation I sat parked outside my house in my car while we talked because I didn't want to go in (part of it is because my room is really dirty and I didn't want to be in there). But I was forced to when my phone battery was getting low. I always enjoy talking to Julie because she listens really well and knows all the right questions to ask and then she can tell stories really well. She's one of the easiest people to talk to. I'm so grateful to have so many people to talk to and who like to talk to me. It's so easy to forget all the wonderful people in my life, but really I am so lucky to have so many people that care. Some don't have any. I can't even imagine.

So grateful for my space heater

2009-01-22T21:41:00.000-08:00

Last year I bought a space heater that kind of crapped out on me towards the end of the winter. It wasn't very good. It had to be pointed at me in order to keep me warm but it never heated the whole room, but I figured what can you expect from something cheap from Walmart. I almost didn't buy another one this year but thoughts of me huddled with blankets in my room and still freezing was not appealing so I went back to Walmart to find something better. I made sure to stay away from the one I got last year and tried something slightly pricier but not much and it has been the best little heater ever.

I turn it on as soon as I come home. It takes probably an hour to get the whole room heated so I start off with a blanket but soon after that I am roasting but I love it. It allows me to stay in my room at a nice comfortable temperature, like I said my room is where I basically live right now. I've even started switching it on in the mornings when my phone alarm goes off and then it warms up my room while I catch some more zzzs for a half hour.

On another note I'm so excited it's Friday tomorrow. Work has been nuts with so much to get done. I stayed late at work until 7:00 last night and then until almost eight tonight. Lots of system problems while we implement new roles and processes and closing year end and it's all happening at once. And yet I'm handling the stress better than I normally do, I think all the stress is going into my right shoulder with stabbing pains. It's a sign that I'm stressed even when I don't realize I am. But hopefully things will slow down soon, probably not right away because I still have a lot of catching up to do with other things but I'm trying to more on the ball. Also, our boss took the whole accounting team to lunch at Crown Burger today, the first time ever this has happened. It was kind of cool. I actually sat across from Chuck, the controller, who was making work hell for me and it was interesting kind of getting to know him a little better. It was a good time and I did go off my diet because hey free food! I haven't been great on it anyway because of the stressful and late nights at work. But I think I'm still going down in weight but just not as rapidly.

Grateful for bookclub

2009-01-21T22:34:00.001-08:00

I have been a part of my book club since it's beginning which was almost three years ago and we are still going strong. I have read so many books that I would never have thought to read or known about from classics to thrillers to self-help. Sure not all have been spectacular, but mostly I have enjoyed what we read. The best thing about our book club is the friendships that have come from it. Going into it I was basically friends with Loralee and the other girls were girls I knew in my ward but we never did anything outside of that. Now we all hang out and get together to watch the bachelor and have girls night out. We all know about important events in each others' lives. It's so great and the they are some of the greatest group of girls to have in my life. I connect with each one of them through various commonalities. It has become one of the greatest joys in my life.

Grateful for my own room

2009-01-20T22:11:00.000-08:00

My room has almost become my own very small apartment. I come out when I go to work and go back in when I come home. I use the kitchen every now and then and the bathroom but then it's right back into the room. It's a living room and bedroom all in one. Sure this isn't ideal for a long term but for now, I'm so happy to have my own space where no one but me worries about how dirty or tidy it is. No one cares what I do in it or how loud my music or t.v. is (well at least that I know).

I think a lot a lot about getting my own place. I look at listings on craigslist and there are some that look nice and that I could possibly afford if I cut way way back on my non-essential spending. I can't seem to take the plunge though to actually go and look at a place let alone move. Change is hard for me, especially alone. Before, when I needed to move it wasn't so hard because I had to or my living situation was un-bearable. I wouldn't call my current living situation un-bearable, just barely bearable. If I had to someone to move with then I would be more gung-ho but taking a step on my own is really hard and I'm worried I'll be lonely. Lonlier than I am now? I don't know. I miss having a really good friend to come home to. I've heard from some good friends how much they enjoyed living alone and I'm sure I would get used to it, but I don't know. The more I think about it the more I don't think I can do it, at least not on my own. If I had someone to go through the process with me. Look at places and help me decide then maybe I could actually go out on my own. The other problem is the money. Having a roommate sure does put some ease on my bank account. Lots to think about, or to think about again. This post took an interesting turn, didn't it? Didn't expect to write about that.

Grateful for a home away from home

2009-01-19T22:48:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it is so nice to just get away from the city and my own place and troubles. What better place than going home, my original home. I can't even express how nice it feels to go home and almost back to a simpler time when I just relax and my mom takes care of me. We don't usually do too much but I'm glad that we don't necessarily have plans. We just hang out and catch up. I watch some t.v. and she either reads or plays on the computer and then we take naps on the couches. Good times. It's totally our thing.

We also went to a movie, Marley and Me, which I wasn't all excited about but it turned out to be pretty good. The only problem was the brood of children sitting behind us, talking up a storm getting up and bumping mom's chair every fifteen minutes and parents not doing a thing. It was pretty aggravating. And I wouldn't call it a kids' movie, yes there is a cute, funny dog but other than that it deals with a lot of adult issues. There is not enough of the dog to make it a kids movie.

I even went to church with mom, which I do not normally do. I'm not sure why other than I just don't feel like I've done much with my life and would have nothing to talk about with the people who knew as I was growing up. Luckily, I didn't get into too many conversations with people other than why I was home. Can't a girl just visit her mother without a reason?

Anyway the weekend was really nice and peaceful. Mom even made some meals for me. Tuna fish sandwiches for lunch on Sunday and scrambled eggs and toast for breakfast today. So sweet. She takes such good care of me.

Three days worth of gratitude

2009-01-17T13:02:00.000-08:00

Got a little busy the last couple of days so sorry for those eager to read the gratitude posts. So I'll do three things I'm grateful for.

First I'm grateful for a safe trip home. I drove home last night to visit my mom. I'm always a little paranoid these days at driving at night. I've had so many safe trips home for so many years, I just feel like soon my turn will come to have a deer jump out in front of my car. I see them littered along the way so I know it happens but luckily before I've been there. Lately, I've taken to uttering a small prayer as I'm driving to bless me to be safe. So I'm always grateful to have made it as soon as I pull into the driveway.

Second, I'm so grateful for being able to sleep in. One more perk of being single I think is that you don't have to get up and get things done for your family on Saturdays. I'm really big on the sleep in because most Friday nights I can stay up until 2 am to sometimes 5 am. Sure, I would get more done if I got up early but I've never been a morning person so I tend to get things done at night anyway.

Third, I'm so grateful for long weekends. It's Martin Luther King, Jr. day on Monday and I have work off, hence the reason I decided to come home. I really needed another holiday. Work was getting pretty stressful and this weekend will be all about relaxing and spending time with mom. Then I'll have only four days to work until the next weekend. Yay!!

Grateful for my hair aka Ode to my Hair (it's gonna be silly)

2009-01-14T21:35:00.000-08:00

Okay this one is going to sound a little vain, but I am so happy that I have finally found a hairstyle that makes me feel good about myself. There are not many aspects about my body that I admire so to add another one to the list is great! I always had a hard time doing my hair. Always experimenting and trying to copy what the other girls were doing. I could never figure it out. Curly? Straight? I've definitely had a love/hate relationship with my natural curl because it would never be consistent. But with my hair now, brunette and with big curls I get more compliments than I ever have. Also, I feel like this is more me than anything. It's just one more thing that is bringing out the best in me. So now when I get compliments about it I don't just brush them off, but I give a very grateful thank you. Now don't take this to mean that every time you see me you have to compliment my hair. It doesn't always look good.

Wasn't this the silliest thing to be grateful for?

Grateful for institute/not so grateful for mood swings

2009-01-13T21:21:00.000-08:00

So tonight was my first institute class in a really long time. I'm taking Latter Day Saint history. I took it my freshman year of college and it is still taught by the same teacher. Loved him then and I love him now. He is so good and know so much about church history. Loralee and David have been taking his class for over a year now and I decided with my experiment of being a dutiful church-goin girl I should sign up. I love how he talks about controversial things in history but explains them so well. A lot of things we learn kind of shake me up a little bit but it's so interesting. Also, besides Loralee and David being in the class two friends from church are in my class and I had no idea so yay! It was great.

I was supposed to meet with my bishop to get a temple recommend (first one since I was thirteen) after class but my friends invited me to see Bride Wars with them. I wasn't necessarily dieing to see the movie but I needed to be out and social so I changed my appointment with the bishop and went. Maybe that was a mistake because after the movie (had a great time up to this point) as soon as I pulled out onto the street I got in the most pissed off mood. I have no idea why. I was just really angry all of a sudden. I did really have to pee so was rushing home and there was some road rage but this seemed different. I don't know. I was mad when I pulled up to my house and saw that Tam had parked in front of the house (where I have been parking) when the last two weeks she's parked in the drive-way no matter who she's blocking. So I parked in the driveway behind Jen. I leave before her anyway, but it really bugged me. I stomped up to our trash can and stomped it all the way down the drive to the curb then I stomped up to our locked door (seriously our door is locked at 9:45pm! whatever!) and then I stomp into the kitchen and turn off the light that has been on for who knows how long because no body in this house but me knows how to turn off a damn light and then stomp into my room and throw down my bag and off my coat and stomp into the bathroom. See what I mean. Out of no where.

I'm relatively calm now but there is still some remnants of rage left. I really almost didn't want to do a post, read my scriptures, pray, brush my teeth. Just let everything fall apart tonight, but I brushed my teeth and as soon as I am done with this post I will read my scriptures and then pray. It may not be a very good prayer but I will do it.

Anyway, back to what this is really supposed to be about...Yay for institute.

Grateful for good times with the girls

2009-01-12T21:47:00.000-08:00

I'm sure I've mentioned my book club before, well it has become so much more than that these last couple years. All the girls are now good friends. We hang out and do all kinds of things together. For instance tonight was our first night for watching the new season of The Bachelor. It is the funnest time watching it together because we make fun of all the girls and decide who we hate and who we like. We do all the important things together like seeing Twilight opening weekend. (: Lots of dinners and lunches and even a trip to St. George. I just love all these girls and some of my happiest memories are with them, so thanks girls!

Grateful for a good book to read

2009-01-11T22:07:00.000-08:00

I have so many books to read and I love when they turn out to be really good. Last night I stayed up very very late to completely read The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. It was great. It's our January book club book. The only problem is that it is the first book in a series and it was only just published this fall so I have a long wait ahead of me before I can find out what happens next. But it's a very interesting take on a post-apocalyptic world. It was very thrilling, though of course, somewhat predictable but a lot of books are. There is a mild cliff hanger at the end and maybe in a year or whenever the next one comes out I won't care, but right now I can't stand not to have a resolution. Whoever invented series was a sadist. Oh well, I'm on to my next book, Book of a Thousand Days by Shannon Hale. I'm sure this will be good as I really like most of her other books. I'm going to try to read three books a month just to get a little higher number at my end of year.

Grateful that the numbers on the scale went down

2009-01-10T23:08:00.000-08:00

Whenever I'm on a kick to lose weight I weigh myself incessantly. It's quite frustrating because the numbers go up and down all the time. But this morning I weighed myself and the difference was more than usual so it makes me think that I have lost a little. It will probably spike up again but hopefully only by a little but not up to what I originally was.

I've just been trying to eat more times a day but not as much. I try to take the stairs instead of the elevator for some exercise and I think that has been helping. I've had a few mess-ups but it's okay. I've just gotta keep trying. I've got lean cuisines for tomorrow. I really hope it's working. I've gained so much in just two years. Hopefully it won't take that long to take it off.

Grateful that the tomorrow is Saturday

2009-01-09T23:55:00.000-08:00

I could probably say this every Friday but I'll try not to. It's been a pretty hellish week at work. Well not too bad but just really busy. I stayed late almost every night and missed lunch two days in a row which made me go off my eating regime for a bit but no big deal.

Also because the auditors didn't think we had good segregation of duties (mainly that I had a lot of power to steal money from the company) we had a meeting to see what we could do about it. They almost took away one of my favorite duties, bank reconciliations, to the new guy because I can't reconcile the bank statements and print checks. I fought it though and made them give check printing to someone else. Honestly, if they hadn't listened to me on that well I would have just freaked out, because there isn't much in this job right now that makes me happy. But I no longer have to have anything to do with checks which was a big stressor. But I'm losing all this control that I had and it's hard for me to trust that the others will be able to do as good a job as I've done. I'm sure it will be fine. Anyway, I'll have more time to focus on other things.

Grateful for online television

2009-01-08T20:39:00.000-08:00

I am a big fan of television episodes online. I watch them all the time. Sometimes I just don't have time to watch all the shows that I want or two are on at the same time and I don't have tivo. It's the best. Lately I've been watching various episodes of Little House on the Prairie. I know, it's so silly. My main purpose was just to watch the episodes where Laura and Almanzo get together and get married, but I ended up watching several episodes after that. Mostly only the ones that included them in it and their married life. Also, I skipped through the episodes to good parts. There were some really good episodes. I laughed, I totally cried (almost every episode). They were definitely cheesy but kind of fun and man that Almanzo is pretty good looking even with 70's hair.

Sure online television feeds my t.v. addiction but you know what I'm sick of feeling guilty for liking to watch television and that I do spend a lot of time doing it. I still read and I still do other things too. Online television makes it so I will do other things instead of having to choose. Sometimes it's hard to choose. C'mon you know what I mean, right?

Just grateful to have more day done.

2009-01-07T22:54:00.000-08:00

Kind of left this post to the last minute and it's my bedtime so I can't write much. I really am glad for only two more days until the weekend. This week has been crazy and today was the worst. Just so busy and still couldn't get everything done. The days are going by fast though for which I am grateful.

Grateful for visiting teaching

2009-01-06T19:52:00.000-08:00

I know, I know. I never thought in a million years that I would ever say that but today it is true. My visiting teaching companion, Tiffanie, has been my partner for about two and half months now. She is awesome. She loves visiting teaching, which she told me when we first went out together. My first thought was "oh no" some kind of molly mormon who is going to drag visiting teaching out all month because that seemed like her plan. But after only spending a few hours with her, I loved her. She is very outgoing (I tend to drift towards those people) and so fun. She was one of the smiling faces I was so happy to see on Sunday and came and gave me a big hug. I'm sure by the end of my raving about her you will just want to throw up because she seems so great. She's one of those people you wish you could hate but you can't because you love them so much.

She always sets up the appointments with the girls. I've always said if it gets set up then I will go but don't depend on me to do it or else it will never get done. We alternate doing the lesson which is a struggle for me because I just don't feel like I have enough insight to give as yet but still these last lessons have really applied in my life so I just share that. Is it bad that I bring it back to me even though it is supposed to be about the girls?

Tiffanie only just moved here a five or six months ago and she pretty much knows everyone in the ward it seems. She told me tonight that she purposely sits by a new person every week in relief society and starts chatting with them (see what I mean). There is kind of a cliche in our ward but not really. Tiffanie is a part of them only because she moved in with one of them. She calls them the "originals." They are all really nice and would never exclude anyone but it's like you feel you need to wait for an invitation before you can join and Tiffanie says they aren't quick to give those just because they don't think about it. The girl we visited is also an "original" and so Tiffanie knows her, but she is really nice and I was pretty comfortable talking to her too. She made sure to get my number so when texts go out when things are happening I'll get one and can join. My own invitation. Not that I really care, I would be so intimidated to go hang out with them only for the fact that I am not a group person and never vy for attention so no one would know I was there anyway so why even bother going. We'll see.

Let's see I'm totally off subject. After we visit the girls we usually have a good talk in the car about our lives and so forth. She opens up to me which is awesome. I'm not quite there yet only for the fact that most of my even closest friends don't know a lot of what I'm feeling these days. Plus I get tired of talking about my poor sad existence anyway, wouldn't you? But anyway I love that she tells me things. She was joking tonight "Cassie you just know all these little secrets about me and I like it." How sweet is that? I think she was totally put in my path for a reason, possibly to get me out of my hermithood. If it wasn't for being paired up with her I don't think that we would be friends really. She would have sat and talked to me one sunday when she saw an empty seat next to me but then that probably would have been it. I really like the girls that we teach too. They are both really nice and friendly. People I would like to be friends with. Also, I read the lessons and think about what to say. Visiting teaching still isn't my favorite thing and the main reason why is the odds that I will have to pray. I hate praying in public. Hate it. Dread it. I never know what to say and I just want it to be over so I ramble off the basic stuff that you should say and short and sweet. Amen. I have only had to pray I think once in the entire time at work devotionals, I did have to pray in relief society a few months ago (funnily enough around the time I stopped going, coincidence?) and at family gatherings I avoid my grandmother's eye as much as possible when she is looking to see who should pray but I think it has fallen on me once but hey at least we got a short prayer that time.

Are these "grateful fors" getting old to any of you already. Especially since I haven't posted anything else about myself. These do give some insight into me I think but I'll try to post at least once a week a non-grateful for post. So there will be two posts that day. Hooray for all of you!

Grateful that I have planned and completed my last work party!

2009-01-05T16:09:00.000-08:00

I've been on the party planning committee almost the whole time I've worked at my company. It was fun the first couple years but this year being in charge was not as fun. I was just so tired of it all. I'm excited for the fact that I can actually go to a work function and enjoy myself and not worry that everyone else is enjoying themselves. Also, that I will be able to leave whenever I want instead of waiting until the end for cleanup duty. I don't have to worry about how much money we have and budget accordingly. This will be such a nice relaxing year. Well as far as the party planning goes.

Grateful for a good start to the experiment

2009-01-04T22:52:00.000-08:00

So today was my first Sunday going to full church in a long time. I wasn't looking forward to it as it was fast Sunday but I was determined to listen to everyone's testimonies and take it all in. I got there early so I was able to sit by Carrie. First good thing that happened. As sacrament meeting went on however, she got more and more upset. I can't really say why as it's her life. She leaned her head on me for a little bit and then I told her to lean forward and i would give her a back massage and I did pretty much through all sacrament meeting. I remember thinking how good it felt that I could make her feel slightly better by just giving her a little comfort. That I want to do nice things like that from now on. Actually, I already do just not lately as I've been wrapped up in my own problems. I've never been big on major service "projects" or anything like that, but I love to do little things for my friends when I think they need a pick me up. It was a good reminder that service can really bring happiness to you.

Fast and testimony meeting was actually not too bad. I got some good things from some of the people who spoke. Then afterwards as I was walking to Sunday school with Carrie's roommate there were quite a few people who said hi to me, friends at church. I ended up sitting in front of Camille Clark, who graduated with me in high school and we were friends but I haven't seen since. I guess she's going to be in my ward now, which will be really fun. Then before relief society started a few others came and talked to me. I realized I do have friends here at church, not any as close as Carrie, but I could probably change that if I tried. I even enjoyed relief society even though I was sitting alone on the front row (not really a good place to be, but Carrie and her roommates skipped it and I was talking to Camille so I didn't get a chance to have anyone else sit by me). The main thing I got out relief society was Ether 12:6. Basically, it says how you will only receive a witness of what your faith has brought you once the trial is over. I'll try to keep that in mind. I talked to a few more people once church was out. This one girl I haven't seen for a long time told me it looked like I was losing weight which is always nice to hear even when it's not true. But I'm gonna try. Then I went to Carrie's for dinner. It's been so long since I've done that. It was nice and she seemed in somewhat better spirits.

There were some bad thoughts that entered into my head today like how it was somewhat embarrassing to see someone from high school when I weigh so much more than I did then and that there are so many wonderful women in my ward and it just boggles me that they aren't married yet. If they can't get married what chance do I have. I pushed those thoughts away the best I could and focused on the lesson.

So I'm just so thankful that today went well.

Grateful to be able to laugh

2009-01-03T23:52:00.000-08:00

Today was a pretty good day. I finished cleaning my room and ran a few errands. Definitely more productive than the past few days. I called Alyson and told her we had to do something because I was so bored and needed to get out of the house. I figured I would go up to Layton, since that is what I normally do and we have her place to ourselves but she suggested she come down to Salt Lake and we go eat at Cafe Med, one of our favorite places, and then catch a movie. After dinner we waited an hour to go see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, but when we got to the theater it was sold out so we decided to watch a movie at my house. I picked Ghost Town. I just bought it today and I thought Aly would really like it. It is seriously the funniest movie I have seen this year. You need to check it out if you haven't already. We laughed almost all the way through and then we watched the bloopers which were hysterical. Even after we were done we kept laughing about other sayings we had and new ones we had picked up. It feels so good to laugh and mom, Julie and Alyson are usually the ones I laugh the most with. It makes everything good for a little while.

Grateful for days off

2009-01-02T22:19:00.000-08:00

I took today off from work so I could have a four day weekend. I love days off. I don't do much but that is the point. Actually, I just finished cleaning my room. It took pretty much all day but I did it. That could be another resolution: to try to keep my room clean. Will never happen. Anyway, back to the gratitude.

It's so nice to have a job where I can pretty much take off any day I want to as long as I have earned the time. This week I was really glad to have more time to take. It makes it harder to go back to work, but I think after this much time I'm ready to get back.

Sometimes weekends just are not enough. There is always something going on and so sometimes I don't really get to relax and then Sunday there's church and visitations, which can just eat up my whole day. Also, there is a bit of a satisfaction knowing others are at work while I get to play.

This month I'll get another day off for Martin Luther King Jr's birthday and I think president's day in February but after that it's holiday famine until May. But I usually make use of a few mental health days to get me through. I'm gonna try to not do that so often this year. I got into a bad habit.

Days off are fabulous.

More Resolutions

2009-01-02T00:51:00.000-08:00

This is going to be really short because I didn't really accomplish anything last year that I wanted to so we'll go a little simpler. I really think this year needs to be the year that I lose weight. Not sure how I will do it but I want to find a way to lose ten pounds a month.

I also plan on a little experiment where this month I try to adhere to almost all the LDS recommendations like: daily scripture reading, daily prayer, attend all church meetings and magnify my calling, etc. You know all that junk. (: Just kidding. I don't really do any of things now and I want to see if I feel any different with it more in my life. I'm not saying that after a month if nothing happens, I'll swear off religion but I just want to see what might happen. I don't really have any expectations.

That's pretty much it. Just need to focus on my spiritual and physical well-being this year.

2008 Wrap Up

2009-01-02T00:22:00.000-08:00

Movies seen in Theatres: 24. Of those my favorite was Australia

Number of Books Read: 25 (one more than last year). Of those my favorites were Good Omens & The Goose Girl.

New Things Learned: Editing movies on my new computer, other than that pretty much nothing.

Started and Ended: Numerous diets and exercises regimes.

Favorite Memories: Spontaneous trip to Arches National Monument with the girls. 4th of July with my family and Lincoln's first. Shakespeare Festival. Carrie's Birthday. Canadian Cruise with mom and Julie. Vegas trip for Melanie's birthday. Anytime spent with friends.

Some Resolutions

2009-01-01T14:14:00.000-08:00

I haven't completely finished my resolution list but I'll let you know a few. First I had an okay New Years Eve night. Went to a movie with Loralee and David and then we met up with some friends for dinner and then headed up to the institute for a party. It wasn't very good. Lots of stuff going on but everyone was so young. We danced a little and played a little pool. I did get a New Years kiss from my friend Jason. No biggie, but a nice way to start off the year. Then we went to Loralee's house for some hot cocoa.

Anyway, one of my resolutions is to post a blog everyday. One way I'm going to do that is to post something I'm grateful for everyday. I've been feeling pretty down lately and I think if I focus more on what's good in my life than that could help. I got the idea from my aunt who kept a gratitude journal. And if I get the urge to post a depressing rant then I have to post three things I'm grateful for.

So here goes...I'm grateful that I've made it through another year pretty much okay. No major disasters, in fact I've had some good times with family and friends. Other than the last few months it's been a pretty good year. Stay tuned for my year in review.

Happy New Year!!

2008-12-31T15:34:00.000-08:00

So I will have my end of year and new years resolutions posts coming up soon. I get to leave work early today so Hooray!! So maybe this weekend those will go up. I know you all have really missed my general whining this last month, and actually it's probably good I didn't post this last month, nothing really happened anyway, but I should be more regular next year. Have a good night!!

The Roller Coaster of Life

2008-11-26T11:28:00.001-08:00

So last week or so I was tempted to write this all too depressing post about how my life just sucks and nothing is going right and I'm not happy at work, home, or in my social life, you know all the stuff you've heard before. Just to give a little background. Lately at work I haven't felt like my boss trusts me with anything and in fact takes things away that I was doing in a very subtle way instead of helping me learn how to do whatever he wants done. I was promoted two years ago, but I am still doing the same thing, actually even less, that I was doing when I was hired. So I haven't felt challenged and my confidence in my ability has really plummeted to the point where I don't think I could even get a good job with my skills if I tried. One day, I completely broke down and cried for an hour on the phone with my mother and determined that I have to talk to my boss about this. The next week I made my intentions known to my friend that I work with who is the receptionist. A couple days later she asked me to lunch with her and told me that people in my department were being pretty much fired. People I don't think should be fired and the reasoning was stupid. So that made me scared to confront my boss because he may decide I don't have the skill set for the job. So that made my job even worse. Knowing that people I like working with are going to be gone. I went down to our subsidiary company and complained and just said you guys need to hire me down here soon because I can't stand it. Kind of as a joke but not entirely. Anyway they were nice enough to listen.

Life at home hasn't been that great either. Ever since Loralee moved out it hasn't been the same and even though I like being by myself sometimes, I realize how nice it was to come home and have a friend to talk to. So I mostly just stay in my room all the time and barely see my roommates. There are other things going there too that are driving me nuts and I think I need a change soon.

Nothing new in my social life either. That it is pretty much non-existent, but last week I had a kind of depressing phone conversation. I decided to call the last boy that I dated. Brendon. We dated four and half years ago and after I stopped the dating we remained friends and we use to talk on the phone a lot. But it had been over a year since I had talked to him. He has a girlfriend and they live together and it's pretty serious, which is great. We talked for a little bit about what's going on in our lives and I told how awful my life is right now and no, no boyfriend, not since you. I alway tell him everything. Then he said how he and his girlfriend have a rule that they don't talk to exes anymore so he couldn't really talk to me anymore. Though I completely appreciate that rule, I wouldn't necessarily call myself an ex. We didn't even kiss for crying out loud. But whatever, it made me sad. We kept talking for a little while and I joked with him how I had contemplated calling him and if he was single asking for a make-out session. He said if he had been he would have been happy to oblige. But I said I never could because I've gained a lot of weight since we went out and didn't want him to see me. "Just more curves to love," he said. Anyway I bashed my self-image a little more saying I was even overweight when we dated. (seriously I don't know why this guy ever wanted to date me, I'm such a downer) and he said "Cassie, I thought you were sexy as hell when we went out." Super sweet and now I can't even have him as a friend anymore. So that depressed and I went right out and bought some ice cream. This time was probably one of most unhappiest times in my life. I don't even remember feeling so unhappy in every aspect of my life like I did a couple weeks ago.

So that's the downward motion of the rollercoaster. Last week my visiting teaching partner, whom I had never met called me and wanted to visit our girls, who I also have never met. Not really my favorite thing, but I didn't want to hinder anyone else from fulfilling their callings so we texted each other about when we would go and where we would meet. I haven't been feeling the church stuff for a while now so I was a little unsure but again I also let my visiting teachers and home teacher come this week too. Of course, they are persistent little buggers, but I like them. Anyway it was such a good experience. My partner is awesome and she picked two great talks from conference I that I didn't hear or had read yet that just fit my situation and our girls' situations as well. The best one was Elder Worthlin's "Come What May and Love it." Seriously this girl is so in tune with the spirit. Plus she is just fun and she's new and doesn't have any friends here so me as her visiting teaching companion have been deemed an automatic friend, which I definitely wouldn't mind. It was a really great day.

Then this week at work. I decided to go talk to the person who under my head boss. There are two people above me before my boss. So I talked to the one right under him. And just quickly voiced my concerns and hopes for my role at work. He was very appreciative of me talking to him and agreed and had already thought to give me more responsibilities, but I would have to hang in there for a few months because there is just so much happening with being audited and year-end and stuff that it will be a while before things really get in motion. I just felt good about putting my feelings out there. Or there might be another possible job opportunity that could come up next week, but it's still unlikely and it depends on my boss, but there are some great guys pulling for me and who believe in me so we'll see. So things are kind of looking up in the work department. Home and social life are still in a lull but hopefully that may turnover soon.

In the spirit of thanksgiving, I am really grateful for everyone who has been there for me. Knowing that there are people who love me and believe in me is such a blessing. So thanks for being there and listening over and over and over again. Some day I'll get my life straightened out or at least slightly less bent.