My Disease

The test results are in and it is official that I am sick. I guess I've always had this disease, it's not that rare (probably occurs in every fifth or sixth person). Each one of you have probably noticed my symptoms at some time or another. It's called Gossipitis or it's not so kind term of flapping gum disease.

I really am a huge gossip and it's not something I am too proud of but I can't seem to stop myself. Everytime I have an attack of gossipitis, I almost always feel somewhat ashamed of myself. Mainly for the reasons that I do it, which I will illustrate for you now.

1. No one would talk to me if I didn't gossip.
There is some self-esteem issues that feed this disease. It is a symptom. Since I feel like I don't really have anything interesting to say about myself or other matters in the world, I fall back on the one thing I know everyone loves to talk about. Everybody else. People come up and ask me about so and so, if they think I may have information on that person. Granted it's not necessarily the first thing that comes up but as the early small talk about me and the other person quickly begins to wane we get down to the good stuff.

2. The thrill of knowing something someone else doesn't and passing it on.
I think everyone loves knowing things and it's nice when everyone else knows that you know things be it any subject. There is a sense of contribution when you spread your knowledge. Of course, some knowledge is much more important, but someone's gotta know the ins and outs of people's lives. I think the role of gossip falls on someone in almost every group. But a gossip's contribution tends to be a negative one hence my shame after each attack.

I don't necessarily seek after secrets, okay that's not true. And secrets is too bold of a term just tidbits here and there about a person's life. I love to listen to people. A gossip usually is a good listener. I try to give myself the rule that if someone asks me not to tell anyone that I will follow that instruction to some degree. I won't tell anyone who is closely involved. For instance I tell my co-workers about my friends that they have never met and I have told the tales so well that they are involved in the story. I bring them the next chapter. I can't even keep my own secrets that well. I mean hello, finally I have something that is good to talk about me, like I am gonna let that go for very long. I think my main reason for gossiping is to get attention and that seems to be the best way for me to get it. I hate it. I feel bad that I have ruined the chance for whoever's news it is to see the surprise on other people's faces. I have taken that from them. But seeing those attentive faces looking at me hanging on my every word, it's such a high.

I do admit this to people freely, not necessarily to deter you from talking to me or telling me things (it hasn't stopped people so far) but just to make you aware. Like I said if you tell me something you would not like me to tell others you just have to say so and I will try my hardest to keep it from those it would matter to. Also, if I have spread some of your news that you didn't want spread please know that I usually do feel really bad about it but apparently not bad enough to stop. I haven't found sufficient treatment yet.

Miscellaneous

Wow, it's been a while. I think about things to put on this blog several times a day, but my willpower hasn't pushed me to do it. So a quick catch-up:

Went to Shakespearean Festival in Cedar city and saw six plays. Had a great time with a little local celebrity stalking.
Went to Lagoon with my mother and two cousins and tested all the new rides. Verdict is that Wicked is really cool.
I have switched bathrooms in my house so that I am now sharing with Loralee instead of my other roommate to alleviate some tensions over cleaning and other things.
I have naughty little thoughts in my head about calling up a past beaux for a no strings attached makeout session. Probably never will but it's been a long time since I've been kissed...give me a break.
Weekly dinners were off for a couple of weeks but now are back on. See picture below of what I cooked this week.
I have a new calling in my new ward...Mingles Co-chair. I'm excited and it shouldn't be too difficult.
I am already planning Christmas gifts.....totally ridiculous but oh well.

That's about it. I'm going to try to better about posting more often. But don't hold me to anything. Double Cheese, Spinach Chicken Pizza
(So So good!!)

Wonder of Wonders, Miracle of Miracles

Well, yesterday for the first time in I don't even know how many years I bore my testimony in sacrament meeting. I think about doing every fast and testimony Sunday but I never do. I knew I would be super nervous so I thought out what I would say before I went up to sit on the stand and wait my turn but as I was sitting there my nerves were just going crazy and though I said most of what I wanted to say I feel like it came out quickly and I ended abruptly but it was good and I probably won't do it again anytime soon. And to think that I would have had to give a talk in just a few weeks. What a wreck I would have been. I'm so glad that I don't have to do that anymore.

Our ward was split last week and the boundaries changed so I am in a new ward now. It's a lot smaller now which was nice. At 9:00, not so nice. The smallness helped me be able to bear my testimony. It was weird though not seeing the same faces that I normally see on Sunday. Most of my friends were on my side of the boundary but there are a select few that aren't and I really missed them on Sunday. Having a small bookclub book discussion with Lacey, getting a silly hug from Matt, joking around with Melanie, going to Sunday school with Jeneil and lots of others.

Church on Sunday was different because nobody has any callings yet so our new bishop conducted Relief Society and his wife gave the lesson. Then we combined the men and the women for Sunday school everyone introduced themselves and got their picture taken. Our bishopric seems really nice. The second counselor is only 34 and his wife is 28 so I think they will be fun to have. We had ward prayer at the bishop's house with some refreshments and met some new people. I think it will be a good change. Callings will be forthcoming and I put in a plug for myself to take pictures (we had little mini interviews with members of the bishopric). Loralee told Brother Bailie all of her past callings and though she is happy to serve in any capacity she would like a break from big leadership roles like she has always had. However she is still going to teach sunday school next week. So as soon as they hear her she'll probably be made a teacher again.

I miss you 46th Ward!