So today was my first Sunday going to full church in a long time. I wasn't looking forward to it as it was fast Sunday but I was determined to listen to everyone's testimonies and take it all in. I got there early so I was able to sit by Carrie. First good thing that happened. As sacrament meeting went on however, she got more and more upset. I can't really say why as it's her life. She leaned her head on me for a little bit and then I told her to lean forward and i would give her a back massage and I did pretty much through all sacrament meeting. I remember thinking how good it felt that I could make her feel slightly better by just giving her a little comfort. That I want to do nice things like that from now on. Actually, I already do just not lately as I've been wrapped up in my own problems. I've never been big on major service "projects" or anything like that, but I love to do little things for my friends when I think they need a pick me up. It was a good reminder that service can really bring happiness to you.
Fast and testimony meeting was actually not too bad. I got some good things from some of the people who spoke. Then afterwards as I was walking to Sunday school with Carrie's roommate there were quite a few people who said hi to me, friends at church. I ended up sitting in front of Camille Clark, who graduated with me in high school and we were friends but I haven't seen since. I guess she's going to be in my ward now, which will be really fun. Then before relief society started a few others came and talked to me. I realized I do have friends here at church, not any as close as Carrie, but I could probably change that if I tried. I even enjoyed relief society even though I was sitting alone on the front row (not really a good place to be, but Carrie and her roommates skipped it and I was talking to Camille so I didn't get a chance to have anyone else sit by me). The main thing I got out relief society was Ether 12:6. Basically, it says how you will only receive a witness of what your faith has brought you once the trial is over. I'll try to keep that in mind. I talked to a few more people once church was out. This one girl I haven't seen for a long time told me it looked like I was losing weight which is always nice to hear even when it's not true. But I'm gonna try. Then I went to Carrie's for dinner. It's been so long since I've done that. It was nice and she seemed in somewhat better spirits.
There were some bad thoughts that entered into my head today like how it was somewhat embarrassing to see someone from high school when I weigh so much more than I did then and that there are so many wonderful women in my ward and it just boggles me that they aren't married yet. If they can't get married what chance do I have. I pushed those thoughts away the best I could and focused on the lesson.
So I'm just so thankful that today went well.
2 comments:
It's amazing how having a few smiling faces at church can change everything. I know when I haven't felt like I know anyone at church, it is really hard for me to want to be there. This week, I sat next to these girls I had never seen, just so I could meet them to help them feel welcome. Unfortunately, the girl I was sitting next to wasn't so friendly to me and spent most of the time turned totally away from me whispering to her friends. Ugh.
Sometimes I like to sit in a corner and just watch people at church. I should feel bad that I can do that and no one talks to me but, on those days, it doesn't matter. It doesn't happen very often because I used that in a lesson one day about making people feel welcome at church. I'm really enjoying your daily entries.
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