The word "alone" has different connotations to different people. Mostly people try to put them into two categories: bad and good. Of course there are other connotations that don't necessarily fit either one perfectly. The gray area if you will. Horrifying, sad, pathetic, comfortable, secure, confident, content, independent, alienated, rejected, safe, sanity, exahausting. These are words that I have used to describe my being alone or ending up alone and I'm sure others have as well.
One person I know can't stand to be alone. It is something her husband has had to get used to because he enjoys his alone time just as much as being with his wife. Well, maybe not just as much but he values it nonetheless. To her it is almost horrifying to be alone and to him it is a way to gain sanity.
Another person I know has a hard time being by herself all day. It makes her tired. She comes to life when people are around her. It can be very exahausting to entertain yourself all day. Especially if you don't find yourself very entertaining company.
Another person I know loves her alone time as well as being with people. She loves to take trips by herself, insists on it in fact. She has deep thoughts and maybe not so deep thoughts but she is secure in who she is at that time. Secure enough to be by herself.
Another person I know spends pretty much every night by herself. Does she get sad? Possibly from time to time but mostly I think she is content with the way she has lived her life, raised her family and did it mostly all by herself. She seems almost comfortable being alone. That that is the way she prefers it unless of course one of her wonderful children come to visit.
Of course there are more people I could mention who I view how they have described how they feel when they are alone but it would take too long. Also, the people that I have described probably view their alone in several other ways than how I see them. I think most people visit the whole spectrum of feelings when it comes to being alone.
Last of all this one person I know enjoys being alone from time to time even though the people around her might think something is wrong. At times they are right. For this person being alone can be horrifying if it means for the rest of her life but confident that she could handle it if it comes to that. Being alone is a time to regain some sanity after a chaotic day. Pathetic and sad if it goes on too long and all that sadness can get rather exhausting. Comfortable with the fact that being alone isn't that horrible and that she doesn't need constant attention to be okay. She feels independent, that she can make it on her own, hoping against hope that she can be secure in herself. Being alone is safe from rejection but being alone can also create a feeling of being rejected. Alienate herself first before anyone has the chance to alienate her.
All these feelings come at different times but the thing that is best is not to revel or wallow in any one emotion when being alone. Man is a sociable being or so I am told. I believe it is okay to be alone if that is what you feel you need to regain something of yourself, but one must always find his or her way back to the group to truly find themselves.
10 comments:
I love being alone. I need a little alone time nearly every day. Of course, if I had too much alone time it might be a different story. Interesting post, I like the different perspectives of being alone.
Interesting all the things that alone can mean and like you say it's different for different people. I also think it's different at different times in your life. I agree with Alyson, I crave time alone, but I haven't always. I'm sure as I reach that elusive 'empty nest' I will have all the alone time I need. Then I'll probably start being more sociable again. Maybe!
I really enjoyed your insights on this topic.
Wow! What a great post! I have more I'd like to say but just realized class starts soon and I have to study for a quiz!
I liked this. Being alone isn't the worse thing. It's feeling alone even when you are surrounded by people. I'd rather be home "alone" with a good book. And there's a huge difference between being alone and being lonely.
I have to second what everyone else has said. I like this post and I like being alone. Sometimes I think I'll burst if I don't have enough time to myself. And, if I had to choose between being lonely or never having time by myself, I'd choose the former. Fortunately I don't have to make that choice. I have plenty of time to myself, in general, and I have lots of loved ones around me so I don't get lonely.
P.S. I'm glad you finally went to see V for Vendetta. Glad you liked it! Maybe I'll try to go see it. I'll probably end up just renting it someday. I really want to see Inside Man and Firewall. Bank movies are IN! :)
I do want to see Inside Man because I love Clive Owen. Firewall not so much.
I love Clive Owen, too. If only he knew that we were meant to have a wild, passionate affair. sigh.
did you see the one he did with Jennifer Aniston? He was really cute and despairing. Its called Derailed. Its on DVD now.
I didn't see Derailed. The only reason I would have was to see Clive, and that wasn't a good enough reason (almost, but not quite). I'm trying to be pickier about my movies - trying to not go to movies with high sexual content, blood, or language. Of course, I'm not perfect. Inside Man had the f word a million times, but no sex and no blood! :)
Also, I rented Bridget Jones 2. In ways I liked it better than the first because it showed what a great guy Mark Darcy is. Seriously, he was so patient with her - she was an idiot more often than not. I also thought her getting put jail was hilarious. In #1 Mark was hardly seen, just some mysterious guy who liked her "just as she was" even though the film hardly showed him seeing her exactly as she was. #2 was cornier and lacked the spectacular kiss at the end of #1, oh, and it had a little lesbian element that was weird, but overall I liked it more. What do you think?
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