I was recently asked by a friend of mine why I don't go to church things anymore (other than church). To which I replied, first of all last month I didn't go because it was the I'm depressed and don't want to do anything or see anybody month. Second of all the most recent activities haven't been anything I have wanted to do. My roommate likes to use the argument (or guilt trip, however you want to see it) that we should support each other in our ward callings. I don't really agree with that because I don't think that I should have to subject myself to a night of misery to support someone who couldn't come up with something better. You gotta know that if you have a calling where you will be planning activities you need to plan things that will peak people's interests. Most people could probably guess what activities would not do this. Now not all activities will peak everyone's interests so you get varied amounts of people each week. My ward usually does a good job. There have been rare occasions where I have not wanted to attend. The whole point of these activities is just to get to know other people. Well, if you feel there isn't anyone there that you need to know well than to each is own. Also, something that a lovely young lady told me was that it is not a requirement to attend all activities in order to go to the temple.
Sometimes your life won't allow you to attend. Especially if there is an activity several times a week. They can be exhausting. Constantly having to come up with interesting conversations with people you talk to sporadically and the ever present worry of looking okay in case there is a new guy present. Also, I guess I'm tired of perhaps being looked down upon because I don't go to every activity that is presented to me. Its my life or your life and if you feel that not going to an activity now and then or never is okay because you have better or more important things to do with your time then more power to you.
So to those who agree with my roommate I hope you have a good time at your numerous functions. To those who don't have a blast creating your own fun. Tirade concluded.
7 comments:
This post was mainly because I felt I needed to post something and I couldn't really think of anything. Not that it makes what I said any less how I feel but this is what you get if I don't have anything to write about.
I love that you quoted me. I know we recently had this conversation, but I'm going to restate my opinion. All those activities are meant for people that want a good, clean activity to go to. There are people like me that don't need others to come up with good, clean activities to occupy my time. I'm fine sitting home alone with a good book. In fact, sometimes I dream about this scenario! It's a good thing to have church activities and attendance is encouraged for numerous reasons. That said, it isn't a sin if you don't go. In a family ward there are rarely extracurricular activities (for the adults, of course there are weekly activities for the young people). Certainly not as many as some of the single's wards I know of. That leads me to believe ward activities are NOT a commandment.
Whew. I could go on and on and on, but I'll get off my soapbox for the moment. I have homework I'm suppose to be doing - if my study partner ever shows up! :)
You knew I couldn't let this one pass. I have certainly missed my fair share of activities so I can relate. I'm sure single wards probably try to plan more than regular wards. Are single lifes more boring or empty? I told my bishop once that I was going to have to get married so I could quit having to socialize all the time. Saying no was much easier. That said, I do appreciate the vision of the new enrichment activities that the general RS presidency has initiated. The idea is to have smaller groups of women with common interests meet at regular intervals (scrapbookers, moms with young children, book review groups, hiking, etc.) The beauty behind it is that women can get to know other sisters better in these small groups and then feel more comfortable when a large group activity is planned. The drawback is that the program can't work is no one attends or just the same stalwarts. So try to help your ward by suggesting activities that you would be interested in supporting and even try to get something started. Each activity should have its own specialist so the burden doesn't fall on the enrichment leader or the presidency. They don't even have to attend. I think the idea is great, it's just a pain getting it off the ground. You may feel the lack of male attendees is another major drawback, but based on your comments, it should be just the opposite. So start a photography group or film group or book review group that meets monthly or so. I could see you going to the movies once a month and discussing it over treats later. (I guess you would have to limit it to non-R movies) Also, don't forget, the big events usually take a lot of planning and work so spending an hour occasionally is much to make someone else feel worth while. Even then, I think once or twice a month is plenty.
I think it's a good idea to attend activities, but that doen't mean all activities or all the time. I think it's a good way to meet new people, get to know people in your ward and have fun. Okay, now that I've said the good things...I don't think you should feel obligated to attend. I think if it feels like an obligation then, even if the activity is one you are interested in, the fun somehow melts away. Not too mention, my life is so full of a million things right now that if I feel like I need to cut a few things out so I'm not completely stressed out, then so be it.
I've been dreaming all day about going home to curl up with Pride and Prejudice. Unfortunately, I will probably only get to read for half an hour tonight, because we are dying Easter eggs and my wonderful cousin is coming to town and I'd rather hang out with her. My book will always be here after the weekend is over.
Wow, good comments all around. I guess I agree with all the comments. The idea of the activities is to provide for the family and/or the individual--to help me our needs. Once in awhile, we probably need to go to support who is planning or speaking, especially if that person is a close friend or relative. It's kind of like attending a niece's high school graduation even though you really have no desire to be at the graduation or that you even see your neice for longer than a minute. It's a show of support and love. 'No name' mentioned the little groups the church is encouraging. My daughter, who is not serving in the Relief Society, has been asked to head up a scrapbooking group. It was announced that it would take place once a week at a given time. So far the same 4 women have shown up for the last 6 weeks, which is just fine. They have a ball and there's no pressure on others to arrange their lifes to be their in support--Come if you can and you're interested.
I definitely feel that a person should weigh the opportunity costs of attending functions vs not attending functions. I, personally, have not been to a non-Sunday function in about a month because the costs were greater than the benefits. However, I will be attending the functions a little more regularly in the future.
Pretty much, choose what you think is best and then we should not judge each other on the decisions that we each make because I believe that people are in charge of making their own decisions and probably are the best people to do so. How would a person know what your life is like and the alternatives? They wouldn't; therefore, it would be stupid for anyone to try to tell you what to do. I can't stand bossy people.
Yep.
Cardine said it beautifully. No one has the right to judge how you choose to spend your time, except your mom. Don't we women beat ourselves up enough about our appearance, our spirituality, our kids, our marriage or lack of such, our homes, etc. I don't think the Lord intends for our lack of attendance to keep us out of the celestial kingdom.
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